well Im back after 2 months, I've been stuck in He**...
Well I'm back afetr 2 months, been going threw the motions. Well SD13 finally did it. Screwed me good and her father too. As you may remember SD13 mother hasn't had anything to do with her or her sister (SD12) in over 2 years, hasn't paid child support in 3 and lives in AZ. Well all this time SD13 has been acting out in a big way.
Well she finally screwed us big time. SD13 got a bruise on her left cheek of her face. don't know how it happen and at this point don't care. I just hope it hurt like hell how ever she got it. Anyway she told a friend at school I PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. So the girl at school told the teacher in turn The cops and children and youth showed up at my door. I was in shock I didn't know what was going on. *uck DH didn't even see it on her face, SD13 wears her hair long and in front of her face. No one in the house seen it on her face, so we don't have any clue how it happen or when it happen. I wish I did I'd nail her *ss with this lie. Anyway SD13 is in foster care been their for a month and a week. Been quiet in the house. Except for the court hearings and lawyer.
SD12 doesn't want her sister to come home because it's been quiet and no one is fighting. funny part is SD12 and my BB are still in are home.
DH is at his witt end. Last court hearing we had they tried to get me to admit I did it when I didn't so when Children and Youth couldn't get me to admit it. Now DS13 is making up lies about her dad to stay in foster care. Because sd13 is affraid to come home because she knows she is in deep shit with this lie. Any way she has stated that DH choked her until she passed out 3 different times. Well DH is hitting the roof. On top of it all Sd13 Mother is back in the picture talking every night on the phone with SD13 in foster care. But still not talking to SD12 who is still with us. So all in all SD13 is getting her way getting her mother back in her life at the expence of us and our futures as parents.
I told DH it's her or me. Make a choice she comes back in this house and I'm out of here. Never in my life have I ever hated a child like I do her. I've never raised my hand and punched any child. I'm am so done it's not funny. Needless to say he is calling the lawyer and signing her over to her mother. Lets see how her mother likes it when the SD13 does it too her and her new man.
So done with it all....
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WOW
I would be done with it too- she has you facing very serious- life altering charges!
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
She has issues...
beyond your control. She is obviously a very disturbed young girl, and I doubt she's going to "improve" with age.
I have a male friend who is going thru this with his stepsons.
(He may actually join the site). But, he managed to have one son put into a mental hospital and the other was in jail (he's over 18) for hitting someone else.
This man is a repected man in society and he, too, was accused of all sorts of things by these stepsons...he also gave the
ultimatum, LW, either THEM or ME. That's the only way she got them out. He finally has PEACE in his life. (He does not want them back, either)
I really think you need to push for SD13 to go with her mom.
Insist on it. Do whatever you have to do.
At least DH is on your side. He, too, must INSIST on getting her MENTAL HELP or OUT OF YOUR HOME. If not, you have to follow thru on the ultimatum. This "child" should NOT be running your life.
We're all with you. Keep us posted, OK?? Hugs!
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
Hey girl!
I'm so sorry to hear about the mess you are going through. Do not let that girl back in her house. She is old enough to know what she is doing and she is making up nothing but lies. She is probably afraid that your DH will really kick her butt when she comes home but oh well too bad. She can go with her mother or she can stay in foster care. I really feel for you guys. My son pulled this shit on me when I was 8 and said I hit him and beat him to the floor with a broom which was BS. I threw the broom in his room and told him to sweep up the cat food he spilled and he got pissed at me and said no so he went to school all pissed off and told the teacher that I yelled at him, then i yelled and pushed him, then I beat him to the floor with a broom. They call social services and a copy showed up at my door. My son got so scared that he admitted the truth to the officer who told him off and put him in the back of the police car and drove off with him. I let him stay in the system one night and he came back the next day. Yes he was 8 but he knew what he was doing and so he learned a very big lesson that day on consequences. If he was SDs age and making up those lies I would have let the system have my own kid. We bust our asses everyday to make a good life for our kids and skids and nobody should be treated like that. I'm glad you stood your ground with your hubby and I'm glad that SD is out of your life (at least for right now) that girl has problems and until she comes correct there is nothing you can do for her.
I agree with Ema
She needs to go to her mother. That's obviously what she was aiming for by getting Child Services involved. It sounds like your house is more peaceful with out her in it. I know it probably hurts your DH to have things be like this, but there is only so much you can do for a kid with problems.
I know I would personally lose it if BM or SD's tried to pull something like that on me and DH. Hang in there and I hope things turn out ok in the end.
WOW- I am so sorry this happened to you!!
I re-read your Bio. You have been in your SDs lives for over 9 years and have basically raised them. You have pretty much been the only mother figure they have ever known, and THIS is how SD13 treats you????
She has SERIOUS emotional problems to do something like this to you. I hope that, along with being in foster care, she is getting some serious psychological help, and not from some namby-pamby "oh-how-horrible-your-Stepmom-is-to-you" freak, but from someone who can seriously see past the BS and into her lies and issues.
I agree with you and the others. She cannot come back into your home. She puts you, her sister, and your Bkids ALL at risk at this point.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
She doesn't care
Yes, I've raised her the past 9 years. But in her eyes that counts for nothing she puts her mother first and formost. SD13 mother has not contacted her in two years or supported her in 3. No contact what so ever. No birthday cards, no x-mas presents nothing what so ever. But she still loves her mother and wants to live with her. But will put me and DH threw hell to get what she wants. SD13 has no feelings or remorse for anything she does. We have had her in therapy for about 7 years. It changes nothing because she lies to them and tells them what they want, then turns around going about her life as it was. Out of 4 kids she is the only one with mental problems. I'm stating major mental problems. She is going too her mom no matter what. I e-mailed the lawyer yesterday and told him we are signing her over too her mom and her mom can fight with Children and youth to get her out of foster care. let her mother bear the expences for a change. We are 3000.00 in the hole already from this bull****. I put up a 1000.00 at the get go. I'm not paying out anymore. Let SD13 rot where she is.
It sounds like you've done all you possibly can
You know I'm going to ask, "How is your DH feeling about this?"
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
DH
DH has washed his hands to it all, we have spent years trying to help SD13. Nothing DH does is ever good enough. SD13 has told him many times she hated him and that BM boyfriend is going to adopt her and she will have a new Father. DH has never done anything to SD13 that would ever warrent her making this statement to him other than SD13 being mean and spiteful. The child has mental problems. DH has spent allot of time with SD13 at therapy nothing ever helped. So nowhe is done. Maybe when she grows up and has a life of her own just maybe she will come too DH and tell him she is sorry. But I will not hold my breath.
Sounds like her and her bm
Sounds like her and her bm might even share the same dysfunctions in life.
Wow.. I agree.. if there were ever a time to wash your hands of a child (and those would be few and far between for the reasons) this would be it. I would hate to have you and/or your dh in jail over a lie, and have the other 3 kids in foster care (as they would clearly take them all) over a lie.
This kid seems to be a sociopath. Good luck to the BM.