New to Step talk
I relized yesterday that I needed an outlet, some way of expessing how I feel. So today I started looking and found Step Talk. Well I started reading allot of the blogs here and realized I'm not alone.
I don't even know where to start, the stuff that my oldest SD has done is unbelievable.
My SD thinks she should be able to do what she wants, when she wants and their should be no consequences to her actions. Her words not mine. She is only 13. age has nothing to do with it. She has thought this sence day one that her dad got custody of her 9 years ago. She believes she should have the upper hand and do as she wishes. It's been a living hell sence then.
The more you put your foot down, the more spiteful things she finds to do to you or who ever punishes her. She will stand in front of you and admit it. She'll state you made me mad so I did it to be spiteful to you.
example: I went out and bought them clothes due to the fact they needed them. Because I didn't buy her more than her sister, and buy her hochy clothes. She took them out of the drawers, placed them on the floor of her room, squatted down and pissed on them.
then hid them in boxes under their bed. I kept smelling something really bad for weeks. couldn't figure out what it was. So one day I went looking threw their room while they where at school and I found them. I was so mad. The smell oh my god and to top it off they where moldy.
When I asked my Youngest SD she told me it was the Oldest SD who did it. When I asked her why she did it, She lied said she had to go really bad and couldn't make it to the bathroom. I asked her why she couldn't make it to the bathroom when it's next to their room. She stated I held it to long. Bull what 13 year old do you know that can't hold it.Plus, the time it took for her to pull them out of the drawer and squt over them she could have went to the bathroom. So I keeped grilling her about it then she stated she was mad and wanted to be spitful because I didn't get her what she wanted.
Well first off she should be glad I buy her stuff at all, Their mother hasn't paid a dime of child support in almost 3 years. she is 16,000.00 behind, she doesn't contact them or even get them. Their mother lives in another state then us.
This is just one of many things she has done. It's an everyday thing around here. We have had her in Therapy on and off the last 9 years. Nothing helps. She just gets worse.
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Time for a step up
That's a highly disturbing thing to do. May I ask if you have her seeing a therapist, child psychologist, or child psychiatrist?
I would go out on a limb here and say she has something really wrong with her, just from this one example. I'm sure you could write a book of them.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
yes I could write a book
We have had her to a Therapist and child psychologist. the thing is when she is with them she acts. She needs to grow up and be an actress. She plays the victume or if they don't believe her then she refuses to talk to them. She is very trying. The one stated well I don't know what I can do for her sence she doesn't want to talk or work on her issues. Lets say she has had him at his wit end.
If a therapist states they don't know what they can do
Then it's time to keep looking. I know personally how draining this process is. But I would find a child psychiatrist to do a full psychiatric work up. The one act you've shared with us, would get the attention of any really good psychologist.
And please don't encourage her to grow up and be an actress
I am one and we have enough mentally whacked folks in the theatre already! (Sorry- I know you were kidding about that part, right? I hope?)
Anyway, if she is only sympathy seeking with the therapists (my SD is the same) and once they call her on her behavior by even daring to ask the child do something to help themselves out of their perceived victim status your
SD refuses to cooperate, then I would dare to say you are dealing with a very ill child, who knows she can rule the roost with her drama, and feels no consequence is harsh enough to deter her from her compulsive behavior.
Pick up the "Stop Walking on Eggshells" book and let me know if you recognize her there at all.
Goodluck and once again, welcome. You are among friends and advocates.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
what does
your dh say about this?Where is bm?My gosh it sounds like something is definately bothering her deep down inside.I would look into counselling for sure.Has she been checked medically?
Welcome to the FAMILY..
Wow pissed on her clothes..I would take her clothes give her a few to wear and make her earn them back..That is beyond imaginable..Give her a dose of her own medicine..Im really sorry you are going through this, but I hope you get some relief here as we have..Again Welcome..
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..
I did
I did throw the clothes away, I'm tiered of doing and getting no respect. that was her punishment. Lets just say the look on her face was too die for. She thought she was getting away with it but didn't. Just one of manything she has done that is off the wall.
Where is her father in all this?
What is his point of view? Does he let her get away with it?
PS and welcome!
Sorry- your tale was so engaging for me I forgot you said it was your first post!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
yes
for sure welcome and hopefully you can get some answers or ideas.
HOLY CRAP!!! I was gonna say
HOLY CRAP!!! I was gonna say "Get that girl some mental help!" But then I saw that you DO have her in therapy. Bless your heart. I don't know what to say. That is some f'ed up and pure evil shit.
Good Suggestion Fubar
Take the ones she does like. Leave a few basic clothing - or everyday stuff.
Make her earn them back.
That is just disgusting and nasty.
I would have gone through the roof.
Their gone
That day I threw them away, no way was she putting them in our washer. The look on her face when I threw them away was to die for. She had to wear her old clothes to school. Sence then her dad has bought her a few things. I did go threw the roof. Lets just say she still pushing it. I refuse to buy her anything her dad has to shop for her.
welcome and where is your husband
Welcome to this site!
First off, where is your husband? HE should be the one disciplining SD, not you. It's not fair or right of him to leave it up to you. My SDs weren't as bad as your older SD, but they weren't exactly terrific either. They were nasty. Downright nasty. I was going to recommend therapy, because that was a lifesaver for me and my SDs, but I saw that you already have SD in therapy. I think it's time to keep looking for a therapist who handles the really heavy-duty stuff. I'd also recommend that you talk to the therapist over the phone before her first appointment and give them the real deal, as opposed to her being able to play the victim when she goes in for therapy. Second, maybe you could ask the therapist if he/she could take her and DH to a women's prison and let her spend a day/overnight there, because a lot of people who work with/live with troubled kids have done that and it really helps the kids to turn their act around. I think DH could go too just so he can see what his daughter's life could possibly be like if he does not get his act together and PARENT her.
Hi!
I'm not sure if you know some of the acronyms...
DH is short for Dear Husband, Darling Husband or Damned Husband (depending on context, I suppose!)
And someone already asked what your DH thinks of this. You have disciplined her and he backs you up?
Welcome to the Show!
~stepmum
DH...
on bad days for me is dick head...
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
LOL
I was wondering what DH was I thought it was dad husband.
Anyway, yes he backed me up. Their was a point when she first moved in at the age of 5 that she would pit us against each other. He thought for a while I was nick picking until we spit up and he moved in with his parents. Then it happen to him, he yelled at her for doing something wrong. well she went to grand ma crying. so grand ma and dad got into a yelling match. Not once but a few times. then when we got back together he has backed me up. Unless I am wrong. which I have to say no one is perfect.
Unless I am wrong....
*lol*!
It does happen more often than one would like to admit, eh?:)
It kind of stings when he chastises me for being too harsh with them and forgets how he yelled at them an hour earlier. Like, ohhhhhh just because I'm step-mom means I'm being too harsh, huh?
I think he sees that now...
We both work on that constantly, of course:)
Ah yes...
"...when she first moved in at the age of 5 that she would pit us against each other."
Triangulation was my first red flag. But in that DH described his marriage that way. It was DH and SD against the crazy BM, and SD liked that equation. Then DH had a functional and collaborative marriage with me, and that's very uncomfortable to SD. So she tried harder to reinstate the triangulation of DH and BM. But that backfired with BM throwing in the towel and relinquishing all but one night a week with SD.
Does you SD still do this or try to with you and DH? What about with her sister?
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
good question
my youngest SD came here when she was 3 so she has a bond with me more so than her sister.
In fact I'm more of a mother to her than her own mother. My skids BM has seen them a total of two weeks sence we have had them in the past 9 years. The youngest SD has a bond with her dad and me. The oldest SD tries to turn her against us and cause problems. DH has heard from oldest SD I hate you and don't like you. We are a joined Force. She can't break us or pit us against each other because we talk every day at launch time on the phone and talk about her. when She is at school and has no clue. So we keep each other up to date at launch time. It's hard for oldest SD to pit us against each otheir when we already know whats, what.
Welcome...
I can totally and 100% relate to everything you said...My step snot is 12 and DH has had sole custody of her for the past 9 years..And yes, she thinks the same as your step kid..
But Wow...Even the Step Snot from hell hasn't pissed on her clothes out of spite!! I am speechless!!! I don't know what to say really other than I hope to god that you made her clean it up and wash the clothes HERSELF..And I would never buy that kid another article of clothing again!
In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. ~ disgusted
My own BS
took a knife to my furniture about 5 years ago. He was upset that his dad hadn't seen him in over a year and decided to call him. When he found out he wouldn't bother seeing him again for atleast another year he took a big knife out of the drawer and carved up my brand new furniture.
I carved up his ass after that.
But then I took him to a therapist. She worked with him alot to the point of finding out all his hatefullness, and spitefull things he was doing was directly due to his father not being a part of his life. Some how I got the carved up furniture, not fair, but oh well. He had some real deep rooted issues because his father wasn't a major part of his life, maybe your SD is going through the same thing?
Once we got the truth, and he has learned how to talk about his feelings and problems he's been a really good kid. For the most part! LOL!!
Except today, he had to get another cast put on his arm. He just had the other one taken off Friday. He fell at school and broke it again, same wrist, same spot, ugh. Poor Kid!
I know
I know that is the biggest issue with the SD, but BM doesn't want anything to do with the girls. I have contacted her manytimes about writting, e-mailing or calling. But the BM states to me to stop bothering her and leave her alone. She lives in AZ, the court order states she is to call every other day and get the girls the week of Christmas. But nothing. Not even a birthday card. She has told the therapist. But it doesn't help how she feels inside. Instead she pushes everyone around her away.
Welcome!
First off welcome - you are in the right place. Secondly it is nice to hear that your DH backs you up - sounds like he had to learn from experience though. Your SD takes the cake. I spit out my protein shake when I read she actually pissed on her clothes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with a devil child like that. It sounds to me that child has a lot of anger that hasn't been dealt with. Even though she hasn't seen her mother for years that may be the root of the problem. When my son was about her age his dad got sent off to prison (they already had a rocky relationship as it was) and was gone for 3 years. Did bother to call, write or anything and my son went through a period where he was very angry and in my face and one time he got so mad he punched a hole in my wall. Like Jen I took him to therapy and it all came out that me and my family where getting treated like crap because he was angry about his dad - who was in and out of his life many times from the age of 1. I agree with Sita that you need to look for another therapist/shrink til you guys find one that can actually deal with her otherwise with this attitude this kid is going to wind up in juvie. AND I wouldn't buy her crap for clothes either and I would tell your DH that as well. As someone else said if she wants anything she has to earn it. Take care - and you are a SAINT for being there for that girl all these years.
She piled her clothes on the floor and pissed on them?
:jawdrop: That little piece of shit kid would be wearing moldy pissy smelling clothes to school if she pulled that crap in my home.
No F'in way in hell would she get away with that without one extremely blistered ass (from a nice paddle) and the total humiliation of wearing those same pissed on moldy clothes to school for several weeks. And they would not be washed!
It sounds to me that rather than a mentally disturbed child you are dealing with a demented little demon spawn.
If blistering her butt and sending her to school in the pissy moldy clothes did not get her attention then I would send her to one of those total discipline boot camp style schools in the boonies for incorrigible children. It would be my sole mission in life to teach her to be a decent human being and I would make her life a living hell every minute of the day to ensure it had every chance of happening. One thing that young lady would understand beyond a shadow of a doubt would be the consequences of her actions and decisions. Grrrrrr!
I have ZERO use, patience or tolerance for that kind of crap. You are a saint to put up with her antics for past 9 years. 13 is plenty old enough for her to understand what is appropriate and what is not. My GrandMother had a phrase that sends the right message for this situation. "If you can't listen and learn then you will have to feel".
Sounds like it is time for her to feel the consequences of her actions.
IMHO of course.
Good luck and best regards,
Zero tolerance style works
on a mentally stable child acting out.
But peeing on clothes is more than even my SD's worst passive aggressive behavior. Although she has "accidentally" ripped or cut up clothes that we bought her if she didn't get what she wanted.
When a child is BP or Borderline or a plethora of possible illnesses, consequences do not deter the behavior. I don't know how to explain it, other than how mystic describes here-
“The more you put your foot down, the more spiteful things she finds to do to you or who ever punishes her. She will stand in front of you and admit it. She'll state you made me mad so I did it to be spiteful to you.”
This is my SD as well. They don’t think through consequences the same way most do. To my SD, a consequence of her behavior is never processed as related to her behavior. She will hold a grudge against someone who told on her, against us for catching her, if she gets a bad grade it’s because the teacher HATES her and changed the score. SD BELIEVES she is justified completely. I don't mean she wants to believe it. She really really does own it as God's truth. She is a victim, we are controlling.
It’s exhausting and relentless. I mentioned it in my post this week, about how SD immediately forgets that there’s been an argument, if something she perceives as pleasurable or positive happens or even crosses her mind. So as long as she’s being punished and held accountable, she is in an extreme state of anger and distress. But as soon as that’s over and something pleasant comes along, it’s as though she never felt those horrible extremes.
There have been times she baited me to the point of my losing my usual cool exterior and I’ve exploded, though I can never rival DH’s ability in that department. She explodes back and acts like she is dying from anger/resentment/hatred. Then not five mins later, she pops down smiling and says, “So Sita- I got an A on my math test!!!!” Giddy and jumping up and down. Then she will babble on with other random facts she would like me to give her a high five on.
And I’m sitting there stunned still from the insults she just threw my way. That’s a Borderline classic actually. When they are miserable they just turn at their favorite target and sling all that misery with a nuclear force. And those of us who don’t have such superhuman abilities, are knocked off our emotional footing, find ourselves boiling in anger as if we soaked it all up or it was literally contagious. Then they go a happily on their way, whistling Dixie. It's called their release.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
When Max was a puppy, he got his nose rubbed in it
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
when he whizzed inside. Too bad you can't rub her nose in those clothes.
Perhaps you should ask her how she would feel if her - if she has any- friends or peers knew she pulled this crap? Or her teachers?
Geez, girl, I woulda lost it. Big time. Your H needs Ragerized.
well that wasn't the end of it!!!!
the peeing on the clothes wasn't the end of it, unfortunately. She new this really got to me. so after that for months she would wet herself. walk around here and at school smelling like pee. So I would yell at SD and tell her to wash her close out in the bath tub. Well I had DH take her to doctors to make sure it wasn't anything medical and I wasn't yelling for no reason. Well test came back fine. So when I got the word about SD test. I went right up to Wal-mart to buy dipers for big kids. they have them now. I warned her and she thought I was kidding. Well she had to wear them to school and around the house. SD thought she was being smart and ripping them off before she went to school. so I started checking to make sure she had them on when she left and when she got home. She was afraid her friends would see them when she got changed for gym class. Well lets just say that she is back wearing underwear again and not peeing herself. it worked for that problem. DH went along with all this.
Very smart! I'll see you in the Wicked SM Hall of Fame!
I'm sure our SD's will both be nominating us!
Way to go mystic! Now that's a good "natural" consequence!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
SERIOUS mental health issues going on- SOS
Hello & Welcome (let's get that out of the way)...
Now on to the serious stuff...
Her deep-seeded emotional issues (whatever theey are rooted in) have taken a dark turn. She is expressing herself in a very Freudian way- using her urine as a 'weapon' directed at her family.
Put it in those terms and it REALLY sounds awful, doesn't it?? Well, it is just that bad. When a child is at the point of using bodily functions as a weapon, it's time to get her to another psychiatrist- one who won't just brush it off.
My BS went through this years ago. He started out as what we thought was a depression- seriously depressed around the age of 10. Then his behvior got progressively worse. He didn't react to typical situations in a normal way- it was always an exaggerated reaction. Then five minutes later, he'd be "dancing" around the room in a terrific mood. Ten minutes after that, he'd be announcing to everyone that he wanted to find a gun so he could shoot himself in the head! It was horrifying!
While we had him working with a psychologist, the behavior continued in various ways. The breaking point came when we found out that he had commiteed two of these "peeing" incidents- both toward his own brother. In one case, he urinated directly on his brother's bedroom rug. Of course, when confronted, he tried to lie and say it was an "accident", but we knew it was intentional.
And the other was when he urinated in his brother's bathroom cup! It took all the patience of Job for me not to want to kill him myself at that point. The very next day we switched doctors and I went directly to a PSYCHIATRIST- not psychologist, becuase I knew something was seriously wrong with my son.
No normal kid does things like this! And I was right. Turns out he wasn't depressed. He had early onset Bi-polar and needed mood stabilizing medication and intense therapy IMMEDIATELY.
And thankfully, after 1-1/2 years, the bi-polar went into "remission" and could be weaned off the meds (early childhood BP can do that). And if BS is good to his body and stays away from drugs and alcohol in the future, the BP will hopefully never return. And he's been "ok" for over 3-1/2 years.
Now he's just a typical moody 15-yr-old teenager!
Please do not let anyone tell you this behavior is typical or try to sluff it off. It's sobering and very serious.
I'm sorry you have to deal with it.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
Wow, you ladies are all candidates for Canonization IMHO.
That would be one tough thing to deal with on a daily basis. So, once you have gone through the Psychologist, Psychiatrist loop what is next?
Mentally ill or not peeing on people or belongings is still an unacceptable decision and they have to know that when they make the decision.
How do you deal with it?
Best regards,
Maybe a field trip to a women's prison
is what would do the trick. I do think this child has serious mental health/anger issues and needs a trained, heavy-duty therapist who works with other kids in similar situations. I think that the root of her problem is that her BM is not there, and abandoned her. But, I also think she needs correction, and nobody would forget a day/overnight trip to a prison because a) it's prison and 2) they'll learn that they'll end up in prison if they don't change their act, and the possibility of going to prison is very scary.
you are right
"Mentally ill or not peeing on people or belongings is still an unacceptable decision and they have to know that when they make the decision."
They DO know. They just don't care it's wrong or what the potential consequences will be. SD hasn't gone this far, but she did went the bed until we finally got FC when she was 12 and a half. EVERY night soaking wet. And all we asked was that she be responsible with her laundry/bedding.
She hid it everywhere. Often times I wouldn't find it til days, weeks, WORSE later.
Or she would throw it in the wash but over stuff all of it in the washer, not use much if any soap, and run it through the dryer. The whole dryer reeked. I would have to disinfect it before using it.
Every time you correct my SD, she has several staple reactions.
She will plug her ears and shut her eyes like a two year old.
She will start talking over you about how she KNOWS already.
She will run up stairs mumbling insults under her breath.
It's completely predictably Unpredictable as her Dr used to put it about SD and BM both.
We know they won't react normally, and we can pretty much guess a lot of the time what will trigger the reaction. But we don't always know what negative "coping" technique they will lash out with. Sometimes I can take it.
The other day when she sarcastically stated how ridiculous and undesirable our family is, that ANYONE would hate us if they knew and lived with us....
That was hard to take.
Although in all fairness, I think she was PROJECTING that trait psychologically.
BIG time.
Oh and I am not up for canonization. Believe me I have my dark flight or fight responses that lean toward packing BD 3 up, and finding a cozy flat somewhere that DH can visit one night a week when SD goes to BMs. He doesn't like it at ALL when I get to that place. It hurts his feelings tremendously. But once I told him, should SD ever do anything to harm one of my other children....
He will be moving with her to their own apartment or I will go.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
How do I Deal with It!
I'm an artist in my spare time, I do portraits for people. I lock my self in my bedroom, put on my Ipod Shuffle and go to my peaceful place. I know this sounds like she can get away with stuff at that time but it doesn't happen sence we have are house wired with cameras and record everything.(except bathroom and bedrooms) We set the system up when she got in trouble for stealing money from the house. That time DH beat her ass, the next day we had Children and Youth show up at are house. Because she told them she got beat for eating food she didn't ask for and that she gets locked in her room. We dealt with children and youth for a year and a half. We kept the case open to get family therapy and to have her in a program after school called Life link, that so call helps kids cope with the real world and teaches them stress management. I didn't mind because at the time the case worker was really nice and seen right threw SD act. She supported us and even told SD that the peeing wasn't normal for a child her age. So after she lied to get us in trouble we hooked up a camera and taped everything that gos on in our home. by the way the case worker asked SD how she got locked in her room if the lock is on the inside of the door. Talk about SD looking stuppid. Their isn't an off time for her. this is our life day in and day out. it just is.
I want you too know that I really truely love my DH and I can't imagine my life without him. I believe we where put on this earth for each other. I've never loved anyone like I do him. SD wants me gone and out of here. their is no way she can tear us apart. are relationship has nothing to do with her. That's the way I see it. besides why would I leave him alone to deal with SD on his own. Even if I wasn't in the picture He be feeling the rath of her anger.
I understand and think you've done an amazing job
Of finding healthy ways to cope. I didn't last more than a year past SD flipping from idolizing me to totally devaluing me before I had to find this place. So you must be doing something right for you!
You know, DH has mentioned installing cameras, but I just can't bring myself to do it. We had to install an expensive security system to keep her from sneaking out in the middle of the night though. Plus, I don't feel right about taping my sons either. I do know if my SD ever escalates to the levels you describe and calls CPS, that it will unavoidable like it was for you.
I'd rather let my SD see for herself the consequences of that, when they place her in a foster home, but then there are my other kids and what if she did or said something that had them removed.
I've heard the terms "emotional hostage" or emotional blackmail. I really think that's what these highly dysfunctional children do to us.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
BM tells my SD that i am trying to take her away.
this site is god sent. i been wanting to vent but did not know where i could and have people understand that being a SP is the hardest job out there.
I knew that when I walked into this relationship I was not going to choose the easy path. I have been a SM for 3 1/2 years now and its been holy hell. my SD was 2 1/2 when i began taking a more active role in her life and from the beginning her mother was hostile. The mother dislikes the idea that the father is in a healthy relationship. She has never been very emotionally stable so hates to see it in others.
The mother has always told SD that "daddy is trying to take you away from me." and now that tune includes me. the mother tells the SD all kinds of sh*t about the father and me, the only reason we know it is that when the mother calls us she yells this sh*t and goes off on a tangent with my SD in the room. Samples of those 'conversations' : "you are bast*rd, you dont give **** about your child, and she does not like to go to your house anymore....right that you don't want to go to daddy's house anymore?'
All this because BF and I finally went to court and had child custody stuff legalized.
in the beginning i used to have an open relationship with my SD but with the mother saying things, my SD no longer talks to me or the father.
i dont know what to do? i can see that the mother acts as a child and my SD feels like she has to be with her mother to take care of her. I see how it affects my SD and i cant do anything about it.
any help you can offer is more then i have now.
No she has to pay CS
BM lives in AZ, she is 13,880.00 behind in CS. AZ will not file contempt charges because she doesn't have a job. BM sit in AZ on welfare and lives with her mother. on 1/2/2008 she had a baby boy. besides the two we have she has another child in CT with it's father. 3 different dad's and 4 children. So she is a baby making machine but doesn't want to take care of them.
OMG. H drives me crazy, can't stomach SD17-but HOW do
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
you do this? Day in and day out? I feel really spoiled right now, in that these situations have NEVER been part of my life.
I went thru some really hard times with my BS, in his teens & into early 20's, over substance abuse-but that was a few tough years where I had help...and he had help, thru various programs.
but dealing with what you ladies deal with, on a daily basis, especially when it's skids....Rags is right. Up for Canonization!
I really don't think we're on the Pope's list for consideration
Since technically, BM and DH are still married in the eyes of the Catholic church and all.
Maybe that's why BM treats me like the "other woman". She could easily find some priests, her aunt the nun, etc to back her up. I mean if God thinks so, well that's hard to argue, right?
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
yeah im w u bewitched
although i think youve got a damn rough road too. but i read these blogs and see what my friends have to deal w and almost feel guilty for blogging about my petty bs. i dont knwo what id do if i had to deal w some of this...
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I don't want too
I don't want to put it out their that others shouldn't complain. Because of what my SD has done to DH and me. This isn't about whos life is wores it's about supporting each other. I am so glad that I joined and have people to talk to again. I felt I was getting to the end of my rope. I finally found a place for me to be and get help. when I say help I mean the support from all of you.
I have no friends around me, I pushed everyone I used to spend time with away because I didn't want to drag them down with my problems. Also So SD couldn't hurt them like she has us.
It's a good thing because after all the lies from SD, my DH family doesn't talk to him because of her. She has caused fights between DH and his family.