Pain
Im married with a guy who have previous marriage... and his obligation to the first family is on. and no matter how hard i try to understand it, it realy driven me crazy.... im in pain ... i feel like iv been cheated by my own husband.
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There are varying amounts of
There are varying amounts of pain, loss or grief (of expectation and disappointment), in every step family. For all the participants.
It would help me/us to understand more clearly, give advice (or not), if you give some details around your situation. Rather than me making assumptions around what you mean from your very short blog :)
(Welcome to Steptalk)
Thanks for the warm welcome!
first of all thank you for showing interest on my short blog really appreciated. goin on the subject pain, im talking about being heart broken.. i feel betrayed.
Issue about the obligation on the first family? ofcors its already given like (basic needs,food,shelter) etc. its all there.As a current wife, im helping him to plan smoothly everything like budgeting and other important stuff. Specialy his taking care of two families now, which im very sure first wife dont give shit about it. shes just enjoying what she can scrap from my husband. (bitter ex wives normaly do that) then recently i found out my husband sending money to them for luxury holiday & splurge shoppings. actualy this is not the first time. money is not issue here, its the way he did it, he did it behind my back.. its realy hurting me inside. and thats why im glad i found this website so i can talk to someone.and no im not gonna tell him about this issue. i dont wanna sounds like immatured woman..
Regards,
He did betray you. If he is
He did betray you. If he is doing things behind your back, you have every right to feel hurt and betrayed. He is being dishonest with you. When someone you love does things behind your back it hurts. You are right, it is not about the money, it is about his behaviour.
The right thing to do would be to talk to him about it - you know what he is doing. Otherwise he will continue to do it and you will feel more anger and resentment.
It is always hard to be the "second" wife when there already was a family/ marriage / relationships which creates obligations. Unfortunately, I am going to give you the ugly cliche' here: you knew about the "first" family. You had a choice to go into the situation with your husband. What you didnt know was just how hard it was going to be. How difficult it is. Most of us didnt know the hurt and pain it was going to cause. How could we? In BMs (first wife's) defence, she does not have to care about how anything affects you. This is actually the duty of your husband.
You are helping your husband with things such as accepting that he has commitments to his other family created by the first marriage. You accept that. You help him with budgetting and make sure he is able to live up to those commitments. The least he can do for you is be honest with you. It shows respect. It doesnt matter what he is spending money on because it isnt even about the money. It is about being honest and open with you. The lack of honesty and trust is what is causing you pain. No healthy relationship or marriage will survive if it is filled with lies or secrets.
TRUE!!
Everything you said here is true. this is whats happening now. no matter how it takes, i will try my best to be profesional about it. surely this what (EX WIFE) wanted to happened to see me failed & hurt., but i will not give her the pleasure....
Thank you very much for your advice.. GOD BLESS ALWAYS
XOXO
Sorry for you :(
hi. I haven't been in your situation, but I don't think I would have liked it either. Although if he already has children from a previous marriage, it is clear why he tries to fulfill his duties. Try talking to your husband, maybe you can work something out for both of you. And I would advise you to stress yourself less, to rest more. Sleep cures everything, and heartache, too. When my ex-husband cheated on me, I suffered so much that I became narcolepsy. I couldn't eat or sleep, I had constant sleep paralysis, it was terrible. I then about a year could not cope with narcolepsy and deep depression. I buy Adderall online on the website http://mypillsontime.com/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=14, just in case the narcolepsy comes back. So do not joke with your health, a man is not worth your life and your nerves.