Well said. Typos a.d all ;).

wow you typed all that on your phone? i can't hardly stand to text. lol

i appreciate what you have to say, and i agree with you. but the point is that people will or will not give helpful, constructive advice.

i think the best advice a new person can get from being on here is to take the helpful, constructive advice and just pass on the stuff that doesn't apply. even well-meaning people will post advice and get belligerent because they feel so strongly about it they can't let it go.

when a person gets like that we start a verbal "explanation" or even all out "war". best to just ignore and respond to what you can relate too.

this is a public forum and there are just too many opinions to worry about.

and i agree there is an "in" crowd. and some of us who are not in the "in" crowd even have people that we like and will defend.

we just can't monitor this sort of thing. i felt the same way at first. but you can't really stop it, so you have to learn how to work around it. kwim?

I agree. However sometimes there is a poster who is usually newish who is so tied up in the middle of their lives they cannot see the trees for the forest. And try as you might and believe the posters (I believe until I work it out for myself, sorta like me and Santa Claus)you can see they are floundering in a losing battle. This need to be pointed out to them so they step back and examine their life in a new way.

So often women on these sites try to fix all ills and make everything happy and blended. And some kids and Dh/Sos just are not wanting that esp the kids. Many partners appear to want somoene to pick up the slack for their kids because they chose a shitty mother and feel guilty and allow their new partner to be the chief cook and bottle washer and laundress and housekeeper and chauffeur with no disciplinary power at all. Women and men are running to their bedrooms to hide from stepkids all over the country if you read this site as a snapshot of steparents across the nation. And sometimes it takes someone saying "Stop now! Step back. Consider this 4 yr old childs life. In the last 18 months she has had to move 3x, Daddy gets a new girlfriend and after 3 months they move in together with her 2 kids and a new school and you expect to her roll over and want her tummy scratched?"

Nothing is perfect in this world and certianly not stepfamilies. We just try to get by with the least amount of descernable bloodshed. And most days we are winning.

I swear, I don't really know who the "gang" is now. That kind of stuff comes and goes here, you just have to roll with the tide and outlast the people that try to make everyone miserable. It really is as simple as that.

Sometimes it's nice to have someone play devils advocate too. It may help to hear another perspective, but if you do then you are accused of being a troll, BM. Etc. I don't post or reply very often anymore after seeing people get blasted for having a differing opinion. Just because someone doesn't agree doesn't mean they are attacking but too many times lately that is how it is taken.

I try to just ignore the people that I feel are attacking me. There are a couple that follow me around saying shit and I just don't give in to it. And sometimes peoples opinions are just different from mine. Sometimes its helpful to see a different point of view and sometimes I don't like their point of view!! I'm sure people don't always agree with me but I try to say things in a nice way.

Lately it does seem very negative on here. I am almost afraid to post anything. If I see certain people posting that day I just keep my mouth shut!!

There have been times in the ebb and flow of things on here people have posted or responded in ways that bunched my panties and made me want to get defensive. However I've been around the net longer than I care to admit and the thing I've realized the most that makes a difference in those moments? I do have to give a rats about it. I let so much on facebook, and LJ, and myspace, and AOL, and tribes, etc roll right on by with the scroll button. We all have varying different lives, circumstances, upbringings of course we are going to have moments, comments and advice/opinions that won't mesh with everyone all the time. we'll all likely rub people on here or irl, or elsewhere the wrong way it happens. Pick your battles. Take the advice you can, vent because you need to and let the rest just roll away.

I totally get what you're saying. I have found not even responding to their comments the best way to deal with them. If you skip over the negative (aka unhelpful and judgmental) comments, you can get a lot of support and ideas from the rest of the gang here.

I've been on this site a few years. Every so often the drama flares up and people get kicked off.

Hugs and I agree miss.....

your post is spot on, and I get that I am "new" here but you know what...im not as "new" as people think I am. I have been reading as a guest here for 3 years. But with that being said, it cant be the "new" people that are blamed for everything though because frankly it I read one more post about "Crew" I think I may scream. I understand people are understandably upset that they got dupped, however do you think that is the first time someone has "dupped" you guys on this sight...the world is a sick place...I would bet not. It is just one of the few times someone has got caught. If "crew" was looking for attention, she sure did find a boat load because even as I logged in this morning people were still appauled, shocked, and writing posts that are nasty, and cutting. Alot of attention continues to be paid to someone who doesnt warrent another thought let alone everyones time...so she is still getting non stop attention because everyone it still going on and on and on....and on about it...your posting is spot on...