I'm really scared she will get some outrageous child support amount granted and back support. We have had SS11 60% of the time and always bought all of his clothes, shoes, haircuts, extra curricular activities, school supplies, cell phone, ect for BMs house. We have never had a legal arrangement. She is taking us now bc we set boundaries and she did NOT like that. Every since she filed she has been horrid. Screaming, yelling, cussing us out infront of my 2 toddlers and SS, refused to let DH have SS, would tell us we could get SS and when we get there she wouldnt let us have him, PASing SS against us, telling SS horrible things about DH and I... You get the picture... Well, she has completely LIED about EVERYTHING to her attorney and in all the court papers. She is trying to make it towhere SS cannot be around me at all. And is saying I hit SS, that I am cruel to him, ect. And I'm worried because what if the judge believes her?? If she wins the C.S. she is requesting, we will be screwed!!! My kids will completely suffer!!

This is just so nerve racking... And I'm trying to get a game plan together with DH since we haven't discussed things in a while and he told me "It can wait. I'm spending time with SS. I'll send him to bed later. What do we need to talk about anyways." I just fucking knew he would do this. He promised me he would stop making all the decisions with BM and start making them with me and he swore that ANYTHING that affected OUR schedule, money, time, OUR family, OUR kids and ME that I would be included, we would make the decisions and then he would discuss it with BM. No more of BM showing up at our door step to drop off SS when it was SUPPOSED to be a SS free night. While I find out by seeing BMs face at my door after I literally just rolled out of bed, looking like complete crap. I can't tell you how often shit like this was happening.

He has improved a lot this last year. But now that court is here, and he promised we would present a united front to BM on all of this... It seems like now that its here he is backing out of our agreement... Like god forbid he show BM that WE are in this together and that she does not make ANY decisions in OUR home anymore and that I WILL be included in any decisions that affect my kids and me. Now I am fully expected them to have final say. All I want is for DH to stop letting BM make decisions for us and our home. I expect for him to make decisions with ME. I am his wife damn it!!!! NOT HER!!!!! And now that he is supposed to show her that, he is chickening out!!!

I am so damn hurt by how he is acting right now. I just want to cry. I am completely crushed. I thought he would keep his word. I was really looking forward to seeing BMs face when DH and I walk into court and DH shows her that WE are a FAMILY, I AM HIS WIFE, this is OUR life and she is not apart of it!!! I wanted her to see that he meant what he told her about him and I making decisions together that affect our family and THEN him talking to her about it, that WE are a team and the whole "BM, SS, DH" are a are a team and then "DH, DD4, DD2 and I" are a team, is over with. It's just us and our family and he is no longer supposed to act like she's still his wife when it comes to SS.. but I guess he just crushed that and showed me that BM will always be his wife when it comes to SS and I will always be an outsider, a nobody, a loner when it comes to his "first family." And I am truly just devastated. I honestly do not know what to do.

I really only started this blog to ask for advise on court and I just couldn't stop from posting what DH just did to me. Am I over reacting? Am I expecting too much? Am I out of line or crazy for being furious at DH for this? Thanks for listening. Any advice or words or encouragement will be greatly appreciated.