My SS started calling my mom Aunt because every time he went to say her name he would say "aunt" and then spitter and sputter until I told him-"If you wanna call her Aunt T just call her Aunt T."

I think it's super cute and totally special. What is in a name anyway? That kid will not lose any love for you because of it.

Honestly, they did you a favor not having you there. Would you really want to spend time with BM...? I didn't go to hospital when my OSD had her baby. Didn't go to showers.. (was invited). Just sent a gift and regrets.

My kids call the close non relative adults in their lives auntie. It's a sign of affection and respect.

I'm only grandma when they want something. Any other time the Steps refer to me by my name to the SGKs.

Oh, Shiatsu! You are dad's wife or grand-dad's wife and they are going around referring to you as Aunt Zipper. How asinine and in denial can you get. Let's continue confusing the H- out of these children and acting like the divorce never happened well into the next generation.

I'd rather be called Grand-dad's Ho then Aunt Zipper. Maybe the grand-kids will grow up thinking grand-dad married his sister at some point, who knows. All of this stupidity further confirms my decision to remain semi-disengaged. I've been married 17 years too, and my DH can go and hang out with his ex- and kids/GKs all he wants and play denial games with them. Tho., it would be rare he would want to. His choice, tho. I just know I won't be there, and I'll be the better for it.

well, that's just rude.

As you might remember, I am a new grandma. Everyone who acts in a parental fashion gets a grandparent name.

I am Mimi. My husband is Papa. Asshat is Grandpa P and Money-ka is babi (a czech nickname for grandma)

Over on my SIL's side, his mom is Belle and his dad is Pop Pop.

I would be hurt if I were you. I am sorry

You got lumped in with the housekeeper?!

Can't you be Grandma Zipper? What has your DH said about this?

Since I've removed myself from SS and his GF's lives their little love nugget can refer to me as Mrs. xxxx should the need ever arise. Which I doubt as I have no intention of ever seeing any of them again.

But those two pieces of trash will probably teach a 2 year old to refer to me as "the bitch".

I imagine if my SSs ever have children that I'll be called by my name. Their stepdad, if he's still around, will likely be called grandpa. Who knows what DH will be called.

You can be Glammy the glamorous grammy.

So now you are lumped in the same category as "aunt", how flipping special.
Will that change your mind about going to the "Fantasy Island" wedding?
What does DH say? Also there sure were a lot of people at the Royal birth. But no room for you? Which is a blessing in disguise.
So sorry you have this continuous nightmare with the royals.

SS32's babymamma delivered about 6 weeks early (both were heavy smokers and drinkers) so we were out of state when she delivered. So no hospital waiting issues there.

SG kids call me by my first name. When oldest was born I went to the hospital and step son-in-law informed me that his child had only two grandparents, his mom and DH (other bio grandparents are dead).

I didn't say a word. I came home and thought about it and decided I'd give them what they want. If they don't want me to be a grandparent, then I won't be, and I won't do any of the grandparent things. I don't buy gifts. I don't sign cards. I don't babysit as step SIL told me they only let relatives watch their children. (Although SD once told me, when they were desperate for a sitter, I could babysit as they'd let people they know well do so. I declined as I wouldn't want them to compromise their values)

Letting go of my disappointment and resentment has been quite freeing. I am polite when they are here. Although I do tend to treat them more like students in a classroom than grandchildren. I have no problem saying "in this house we..." when correcting an unacceptable behavior.

I told DH that what the kids call me is their parent choice and I know he can't change it. However, if he referred to me as first name to the kids when they were here I'd immediately leave the house. So he doesn't. It's amazing how he avoids my first name in conversation with the kids. The oldest thought my name was "she" and called me "she" until four when one of the parents actually realized what was happening. I actually would rather be "she" than first name. First name, to me, makes me more like one of grandpa's live in lower servants (as in Victorian England).

What does Mr Zipper say about all this?

Did you say anything to them about being called Aunt and not some form of Grandma?
I think I'd be telling them no, I'm not Aunt Zipper, I'm Grandads wife and your Auntie's Mom.
And disengaging in a big bad way.

At least the DD's are Aunts and not referred to as half-aunt or something terrible. This is an example of how we teach and mold children to accept or exclude people in their lives. Calling you Aunt and DH Grandpa may be a bit confusing to the kids as they grow up. They may even slip up and call you Grandma on occasion. The kids may come up w/their own variation and you can also ask them to call you something else, a variation of your first name would be fine as long as it doesn't compete w/BM's holy granny status. I'd say "Aunt sounds so formal call me Zippie (or whatever)."

How rude. I do not necessarily want to be grandma to my SD's kids, but I am most certainly not their aunt. My DH would set his daughter straight about that, right away.

This is just plain disrespect to you as your husband's wife, no matter how the step kids feel about you. My sisters and I have not always had the best relationship with my dad's wife (not the worst, either), but she is Grandma to all of my nieces and nephews. I have no bios but if I did, she would be Grandma, regardless of my personal feelings about her.

But, this is what your husband allows. He thinks letting his kids get away with this crap and not setting them straight proves what? That he loves them? My dad loves me but there's no way in hell he would allow me to treat his wife the way your step kids treat you. And my own SD would never dream of it, she knows where that would get her.

Your step kids truly are rude, entitled, spoiled little brats and guess whose fault that is?

DH went by himself to the hospital because he said they were trying to limit
visitors.

Let's face it, they were trying to limit ONE visitor, you. And again, your husband went along with it. Shameful.