AM I BEING TOO SELFISH- ???
It's our weekend with SS- He is 4.5 yrs. old but acts like and has verbal skills of a 2 year old. We will have him Fri-Sun. He wakes up about 4 times a night yelling for "Daddy"[loudly] and DH always gets up in the wee hours of the morning and goes and lays with him, this happens about 3 times at least Friday and Sat. night. How should he be handling this? Just as he has been by going to lay down with SS or???
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What about
What about putting a picture of daddy beside the bed and tell him when he wakes up to look at the picture and know that daddy is always watching over him.Maybe that will help.My sd use to do the same thing but she was 9 yo.That is to old for daddy to be sleeping with her so it didnt last long.Maybe a teddy bear he can sleep with?
Great Idea
I am open to any idea, DH ends up exhausted and I'm just wondering how long this will go on..
Sam has a cool
idea with the picture of dad, or the teddy bear. I would try to make it fun for him. Ask him what wakes him up and why does he yell daddy? Is he scared? Then when he says, "uhhu, I'm scared of the monsters under the bed or in the closet" because I'm sure he will! LOL! Anyways, try to take him to the store and get one of those night lights that spins images around the room. Tell him those are only for big boys though, and if he is still scared he can't keep it but can have it back when he's big. Just make it super fun.......
I know that if my daughter wakes up at any age yelling for me I'll go running. So I can't fuss to much over that.
The thing is...
When you ask him basic questions, he can't answer very well, verbally he is severely behind. If someone kidnapped him, he wouldn't be able to tell you anything about it. We are working on getting him evaluated.
A book
Or even read him a book to before bed that would help with his verbal skills and maybe calm him down a bit.Or get him to try and read you a book.
Sam is on it today!
That's a great idea to! If he is having problems with his verbal skills have him start reading to you at night!! Great way to teach him plus help him get sleepy. Maybe take turns reading chapters or pages.
is he going to bed too early?
im not sure what the living situation is and how long DH and BM have been separated, but DH sleeping w him is NOT helping.
SD3 used to do this bc shes always slept w her mom since BIRTH...but when she would cry, DH would go in, calm her down and tell her to go back to sleep. he wouldnt even wait until she did, just til she stopped crying. they need to learn how to be independent w things like this...
the above ideas are great until SS gets to that point.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Good Ideas
We read to him at our house but I will make it a point to do it more often and definitely a nice long one at bed time~
He isn't going to be too early.. "UNFORTUNATELY"
My kids were in @ 8:30 at that age and had stopped naps in the afternoon around age 3-4- He still takes naps or falls asleep during the day and it's almost impossible to keep him awake when he's tired..
Anything goes at BM's house
She is a hot smoldering mess, I am not sure if SS sleeps with her, as there is probably no room with every Tom, Dick and Harry in town in the bed as well! She never will give us information as to what he eats, what he doesn't or if he's eaten or how he sleeps, she loves to play the control game with us, she feels the less we know the better she will not budge an inch when it comes to giving us information about the child, unless it's to call and tell us what we're doing wrong according to her.. He has eczema so she prefers if we slather vaseline all over his face and body for instance..
Vaseline??
I have that as well. So does my BS2. No you need to use a very thick cream (not lotion) and if it breaks open and bleeds he needs a perscription.
When you bath him---don't use soap till the very end, then rinse him quickly. Get him out of the water right away. Then slather him in the cream (like utter cream or Ucerin) when he is still damp. This will help dramatically if done constantly.
Thank you
I needed that! This is more like how I feel about it.. but I'm trying to be compassionate to the child.. although I would love to strangle the kid most of the time.. he yells until he gets an answer! I want to jump out of bed, stand over him and yell.. "KNOCK IT OFF!!!!"
Yeah we did that!
SD9 used to do this when she first go her own room, when H and I moved in together. She was about 4 years. My H would go in her room and yell at her to be quiet! She stopped this within a couple of weekends (we had her EOW only then).
But it depends on why he is doing it. Is it manipulative, like my SDs was? Or is it becuz he is so used to having someone there all night?
If its the latter it may take longer to get the point thru. I would say for sure that your H not sleep with him. That is not helping any, probably making it worse.
One thing that scares me is
He eats anything off the counter or out of the trash.. I let it slide the first time but then I witnessed it again, a half piece of last nights pizza, anything.. so then I started thinking.. Wow.. what the hell goes on at home.. He also peed in my garbage one day! I was furious.. I'm sure it was not the first time.. He just aimed and peed..
Wow.. the part "getting full custody" I never looked at it like that.. I thought we would be doing him a huge favor..
& Can anyone tell me? Where on earth does eczema stem from?
Actually I don't believe he was ever tested
And I am to understand that BM contracted Herpes before he was born and chose to have a C-Section, she told DH it was because of Scoliosis, turns out.. Nope!
oh BARF!!
what a skank! at least take care of urself when ur preggers for the sake of the kid for gods sakes!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I know
I actually threw up in my mouth a little when I learned that from DH He got himself tested for everything.. She [get this] didn't know she was pregnant for 3 months! Oh really? That's funny because DH was already planning on leaving, then low and behold here comes crazy talking about "I'm pregnant, but didn't know" I'm still questioning if DH is truly the Daddy, but he says it would kill him to find out he's not, and if he wasn't she would NEVER let DH see SS again, I'm sure of it..
It sounds
To me like he runs rampid at bm house.Are you sure he isnt left alone there?His behavior of eating out of garbage and peeing in it does not sound like he has supervision of any kind at bm house.Maybe thats why he isnt sleeping at night cause hes been traumatized with being left alone at bm house maybe?
I wouldn't put it past the nasty b*tch
He has 2 older brothers 10 & 15- I know they are often left with the 15 year old, When I called CPS, they told me that my concerns were not enough to investigate... Ummm.. were they serious?!
I would
call back the cps and tell them his behaviour and have strong feeling he is being left alone with no supervision at bm house or maybe they would take it more serious from dh cause they think you might be doing it out of spite?Then i would call police and let them know that cps refused to check it out and your worried something is going to happen to your ss make a papertrail that you have tried to get this looked into.Therefore if anything ever happened she cant say that it was you and dh neglecting him at your house and thats why the strange behavior.Also you can use the papertrail in court if anything ever came up about it.His behavior is disturbing for a little guy i would definately get bms house looked into.
Thank you!
I appreciate the advice!!!