It really feels like SS existence consumes the ENTIRE household- What to do/How to handle?
My Bkids have been complaining to their grandma off and on, and I was aware of the situtuation, but it's difficult to find a quick-fix
We are trying to get custody of SS which will be another issue altogether, but my biokids are feeling overwhelmed and annoyed because:
SS- is very loud
SS- demands constant attention every waking moment
SS- springs around the house like a pinball machine
SS- is very behind developmentally
SS- is baby'd and extermely babyish
The world is revolving around SS literally and my kids are PISSED
I took my daughter out to lunch Sat. and it was wonderful to get away and spend some time alone with her.
My husband and I dropped SS off at his grandmas on Sat night and had a night to ourselves and slept in, and it was blissful
Do I just need to break away more often with my kids so we can all get a peace of mind?
When I have left DH alone with SS for long periods of time, he seems to be as agitated with him as we are when I come back..
Should I leave him alone more often with SS?
YOUR THOUGHTS ???
- mrsparks's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
See that's it too I know when I'm not around SS gets away with
much more, because DH let's most of it slide, he spends half the time trying to justify SS's actions, which I never buy..
I have found...
I have found that a lot of times, my feelings about SD8 are confirmed by my biokids. At first, I thought, "Maybe I'm being harsh by not believing SD8 every time she complains about being sick or scared so that she can get daddy's attention." I kept it to myself for some time. Then, BD14 and BS18 asked me, "What the heck is up with SD8??? Why is she fine one minute and as soon as FH tells her that it's time for bed or time to clean, all of a sudden she feels "sick"? Mom, why does FH believe her?" When I realized that it wasn't just ME that was seeing these things, I started to realize, there really IS a problem here.
Have you talked to your DH about these things? Is he willing to try to make some changes so that your biokids don't feel so slighted? I know my kids have a hard time with the fact that SD8 gets ALL the attention while they are like little wallflowers.
If he is in guilty daddy mode and doesn't think there's a problem with how he behaves, then yes...get out with your kids when SS comes over. It will do all of you a world of good!
I think DH knows that he's guilt-parenting
but I also DON'T think DH realizes how slighted my kids feel.
I think I need to step back from the custody situation for awhile and I need to start really spending good quality time with my kids-
I really thought about it last night
and I'm just going to find time to do things with just my kids, they're older and deserve equal attention- they didn't sign up for this :O)
That's what I'm starting to think..
I'm wondering if the shoe was on the other foot, and my kids were the ones coming to live with DH after a very expensive custody battle if he would be so giddy about it.. I highly doubt it for some reason.. SS needs help and lots of it, I know he will never get the help if BM remains the custodial parent- I want to smack the crap out of DH when I sit back and think about how he spawned a child with such a lunatic-