How do I get involved?

My fiance and I have made the decision to move in together in order to prepare for our marriage. We have had a wonderful relationship and out kids get along very well. My son is 6 and her daughter is 11. My son does not live with me but visits overnight twice a month. He daughter lives with us and she visits her dad overnight a couple of times during the week on a weekly basis. Her daughter have always shown strong signs of being extremely spoiled. I support my fiance and let her handle the situations but it is becoming very hard to just sit back and watch this 11 yr old take advantage of her mother's niceness and become rude over the smallest things. It's hard for me because my son is totally opposite and never shows any disrespect even when he is told "no". I want to have a talk with "Jade" to encourage her to do better and to let her know that she is really frustrating and hurting her mom when she puts on one of her episodes. But I realize this might not be the route to go and I am wise enough to know to check with others for their advice, so that's what I am doing, any advice?

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Honestly before you get too

Honestly before you get too involved I would talk to you SO and ask her if she is ok with you talking to her child about behavior also what type of discipline is ok and what is not. Some Bio Parents are very protective over their kids and some do not act well at all to the Step "helping" Even when they are married or about to be married. I dont see that crossing any lines but I would double check with you future wife first.

I think it's time for mom to

I think it's time for mom to start putting her foot down with regards to disrespect from her daughter. It would be a good idea for her to get that under control before you move in, otherwise daughter is going to blame you for it. Her behavior is going to get worse before it gets better, because she is not going to like having to share her mother on a permanent basis. Hold on for the ride, it's going to be a bumpy one!

I asked her about talking to

I asked her about talking to her and she said sure because she just doesnt know what to do...I advised her that how her daughter acts is a result of years of things going unchecked and it will not change overnight...Luckily my fiance is totally onboard for me helping her out in this matter. Once again, I don't plan to do any disciplining just talking with the SD because she is so sweet when she is not being a spoiled brat and I just want to highlight those positive features and let her know that when she does the other stuff it is really disappointing because I am shocked that she can be that way.

well it sounds like you have

well it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and I hope that things work out. Right now you are at a cross road with the almost teenage years and being a teenager not to long ago I wish you luck...Girls are not easy. I hope that she will change with the positive reinforcement.

Also Welcome to Step Talk. A guys point of view is always good to get and you being a Bio Father is a plus. I hope that you stick around.

If she needs a second reminder then repeat the above message with this additional information "If you make the mistake of doing it again I will blister your butt!"

Then follow through if she makes the mistake of testing you.

Good luck.

Comments

Honestly before you get too

I think it's time for mom to

I asked her about talking to

well it sounds like you have

Well, I plan to...I feel that

Read this article on getting

How about this? "Young lady,

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