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power struggle?

mother goose's picture

Where to begin???

I asked DH to bring his clean clothes up couple weeks ago....they are still sitting where the clean clothes go..they sat and sat.

DH does NOTHING around the house, nor does his 6 yr old. DH has a fish tank that he cleans 1x wk and that's it. My BS17 and I do everything! If DH sees something that needs done he will pay my son to do it, like last weekend, dusting and vacuuming downstairs....that's fine and dandy if he wants to pay my son to do stuff, buut dang dude, get off your A$$!!! I told DH that's fine if he doesn't want to take care of his clean clothes, I'm just not going to wash any until the clothes are taken care of, not gonna struggle to make sure all his clothes aren't gonnna fall or whatever. Well he decides to tell me that it's MY job to put hiis clothes away....uh I don't think so buddy...He tells me that he works hard ALL day long ( 1-2 hour lunches at home) and all I do is sit on my ass all day and pump blood pressure cuffs (making the noise)...I work hard! I am a full time medical assistant in a BUSY clinic, how dare him tell me that my job is not hard....UGH!!!!

Tuesday he started in on me, going through my pantie drawer telling me that he needs to find something to wear since he doesn't have any clean boxers, I told him he was a big boy and he new how to start the washer. All day long I'd talk to him through text and all he would say to me was "laundry". So i get home, I ask him if he is ready to go out to dinnner, he said no that he doesn't have any clean clothes, he's been home for 1.5 hours by now, well he could have started some when they were waiting for me....

So, it's 6:30, I'm upset (crying) kids are hungry, so I asked DH if he was gonna go, he said he doesn't have any clean clothes...I said fine, then me, BS and SS are gonna go to Olive Garden....well we had an errand to run first, came back home and DH is seperating our finances, since I don't want to do his laundry, he wants US to be seperate in a household. But yet, I still have to get his son ready for school in the morning, and my son still has to pick him up after school, but OUR finances are going to be seperate!!!! I was like ok...the kids had McDonalds...I was so upset that he waas acting like this, all over laundry....

and to top it off...yesterday was my birthday....what a shitty day.....

sorry ladies, just had to vent...I am so hurt that he treated me soooo poorley on my bday...just can't believe it.

Comments

Amazed's picture

Wow that sucks. My ex was very similar to this.

Let him be a jackass and separate finances...honestly you're probably better off that way. Stop taking care of his kid unless he's paying you to do it like he pays your son to do things. Stop having sex with him unless he *giggle* plans on paying you for the hardship of dealing with it }:) j/k on that one

((((Hugs honey)))) I hope it gets better soon and happy belated birthday to you...

~Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them so much~ Oscar Wilde

mother goose's picture

there hasn't been any action in the bedroom...which is fine, cuz right now that is the last thing that I want from him.
the other night he through divorce in my face, we have been married since April...things have changed since then, he used to help around the house more, he used to help with dinner, he helped period....now it's jjust me and my son doing EVERYTHING!
That's all I am asking for is help...not to pay my son to do it...not to sit and watch me do it...him and his son live here too. HIs sons room is TRASHED, it's right next to the kithcen, I asked DH if he could have SS6 clean it, he said that he's not worried about his room...So I shut the door..it stinks in there like pee, cuz SS will pee his bed and DH won't have him take care of his bedding...YUCK!

I've disengaged from both of them...when SS and I are alone in the mornings getting ready for schoool, I'll have him pick up his room if there is time...when DH is they do their own thing..

Dh said last night that we are gonna seperate stuff, he told me that we are going to do our own grocery shopping...this ought to be fun to watch...I'll be cooking me and my son some good eating while he feeds himself and his son chicken nuuggets and FF everynight!

why do men have to be such dicks????

time to go get his "baby boy" up

Amazed's picture

*giggle* about "good eating and chicken nuggets" go girl Wink

~Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them so much~ Oscar Wilde

stepmom2one's picture

different groceries! This is to funny! Even when we had things seperate (my H and I) we just split the bill.

Sorry but your H is acting a fool.

buttercookie's picture

If he wants to split I'd stop being his unpaid babysitter. Make him get his own kid up and ready.

belleboudeuse's picture

He is a complete a**hole. Wow. What a bait and switch.

You don't need this -- you'd be better off alone.

I would give him two options and let him decide:

1) You go to marriage counseling together.

2) You pack up your bags and leave his sorry a**.

UCSM (BB)

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin

stepmom2one's picture

What a jerk! Well I would say great lets do that, and btw don't forget to factor in before and after school daycare! You will need it since we are seperating everything. That of course is your son, so that you will have to pay for.

He is pushing you, push back--he'll cave once you give him the seperated list of chores!