So the kids have been at their moms house since Christmas Day… the LONGEST stretch that she’s had them since DH and I were married. (Usually she only sees them every other Saturday to Sunday… two flippin days and one night total, not a “true” measure of their behavior by any stretch of the imagination) And they’ve finally gotten comfortable enough at her house to let their natural little personalities fly!

She calls up last night borderline hysterical…
Mother Russia: “Oh…*SS3* is horrible little monster!!!”

DH: “Well Jeeze! He isn’t standing right there listening to you call him names is he?!?!?”

Mother Russia: “Oh no… no… he upstairs crying. I put in Time Out cause he punch *SS6* in eye so bad he no see for an hour. He scream and punch all day… OH where is my precious baby and who is this terrible monster?!?”

DH: “Did you crack his ass..? He never behaves that way at our house… put him on the phone”

Then the SCREAMING intensified so bad I could hear him from across the room and then DH yelled “HEY!” and the other end went quiet for a second… then he started whining and crying again and DH said, “put your mom back on the phone”.

Basically he tried to armchair parent her through dealing with a sugar-tripped out three year old over the telephone for a half hour while I chugged wine and watched “Back to The Future”. SS3 has been a total little bully and SS6 just sits in the corner not talking and playing that shitty little video game that we only let him play one hour a day (DH thinks it’s promoting good hand / eye coordination but I’m sure it’s just wrecking his interpersonal skills) It was a total mess… how on earth do you let a kid work itself up to that state and just stand in the corner going, “What to do..? What to do..?” Answer: She’s a part time mother.

I’m just dreading the boot camp that’s going to have to ensue when they come back home… de-programming almost two weeks of piss-poor, over indulgent parenting is going to be hell on earth. *ak* And the worst part is when they come back parroting her broken English… that’s always the hardest habit to break.

It’s almost not worth the break… almost….