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Thanksgiving

mommeanests's picture

**this is in general discussion forum as well**

So I am mostly a reader not a poster on here, but the drama that has happened in the last week or so, warrants some advice.
I am going to try and be as clear as possible.

So my husband has full legal (exclusive decision making for education, medical and geographic), and they share 50/50 visitation. EOW, switching Mondays after school.

So the last day of school before break DH got a call from school, saying BM was trying to take SD8 out of school early. Which was weird since he just talked to BM and she said she was picking up SD at the car line (6pm thanksgiving visitation started for DH). He agreed to her taking her out early (it was less than an hour)

So BM was pissed, mainly she for some reason had no idea that DH had to approve this based on the CO and the schools own policy (it would be the same if I picked her up early)

So Thanksgiving break was hard, SD8 had a bad week, she got in trouble a couple of times, she was bored, she also is having some (what I think is hormonal) emotional issues, she gets sad super easy and then mad a second later. So DH called BM saturday and asked if she wanted SD8 early based on the bad week. They ended up in a huge fight (I wasn't on the phone so I have no clue what happened), but in the end he texted and said SD8 would stay with us until custody changed.

So Sunday at 6pm comes and BM shows up, she wants SD8. Only issue is when the Holiday visitation is up, it is still DH's visitation week. Custody would switch to BM the next day.

So BM calls the cops, waits 2 hours in front of our house for the cops (who don't come) and then storms off.

So yesterday DH got a text from BM, asking for his email. He say sure but why. She said she is visiting the court ordered counselor they used when the court took SD away from BM based on CPS reports, over 2 years ago.

I have no clue what is going on, the sad part is for the last 7 months everything has been fine, to the point SD8 was in soccer and everyone got along just fine.

There of course are other circumstances (BM's baby daddy is getting out of prison today, DH's crazy Mom is back in BM's life, MIL is not in our lives at all), but I just have no clue, this is stressing out DH and me.

I am not sure what to do to support him on this...any words of wisdom?

Comments

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I honestly have no advice... This is all crazy and dramatic... I think BM is being psycho and seems totally willing to play by any means necessary to get what she wants, which is terrifying...

Just be there for DH and keep your noses clean for now I guess... I am so sorry you're going through this disaster... Keep us updated and know we're always here if you need to vent.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

This seems harsh and unrealistic. It's ok for a parent to be flexible sometimes and give more time for special occasions. That doesn't make them wish washy or unpredictable. It makes them compassionate and shows the skid that rigid, unrelenting behavior isn't the way people interact. Perhaps SD was being moody because she missed her mom and spending some more time with her would have helped. She might be at an age where a girl needs motherly advice. However, it seems OP and her DH learned a valuable lesson this time and can adjust in the future.