Some women just love playing the victim... DH has the kids basically all the time (full time, but like once every two months she'll appear for an hour or two, lol), funds everything, and between the two of us we do all the caretaking... Bm on the other hand, ditches, gets fired frequently, does drugs (unproven, but I know the smell and can recognize when someone is high...), etc. But posts all the time about how hard it is being a single mom and not having their dad do anything for them. They just like all the sympathy and attention it gives them. *eye roll* it's ridiculous. But the game a lot of them end up playing.

The BM in my life is the same way. She moved her boyfriend and his child into the house less than four months after she filed for divorce and kicked DH out, but then had it written into the CO that she "approve" any changes to DH's living situation before she allowed the kids to stay with him.

She also brought her boyfriend (she now calls him her "husband" but they never legally married, even though they had a wedding ceremony) to school events and parent conferences immediately upon moving him in, but then when DH asked me to join him at a parent conference two months before we were getting married, BM sent him no fewer than 20 texts telling him how disrespectful he was to "bring some girl you're dating" to the parent conference.

Now that we're married, she compares DH's leaving the children with me to her leaving the children with her 15 year old stepson. She regularly leaves SSs alone with him and comes home at midnight. The last time, she wasn't even in the state and didn't tell DH that her flight wasn't arriving home until 11pm after the scheduled dropoff. She told SSs (because she didn't want them to freak out when they got home and she wasn't there) and they told DH. She was gone for four days, I think she and her SO might have left the 15 year old home alone that entire time.

She also loves to tell DH that I'm not a mother, so I don't know anything about how to be a parent, but she doesn't either. The kids don't do homework and don't act their age. They are rude, entitled, needy, and take any comment directed at them as criticism that leads to tears. They always feel as if people are out to get them...just like their mother.

DH used to try to convince me to have a sit down with BM, because he thought I could "convince her how unreasonable she'd being." I told him, "no one will convince her she's being unreasonable, because she thinks she's being perfectly reasonable." Every crazy or rude outburst from BM just confirms for me that I have been right to totally freeze her out of my life. I don't interact with her and don't even look at her when we're out. The kids get along fine with me and she tries to hide the fact that she's an abusive b%tch to DH, so she can only say so much about me publicly or to my MIL (the only family member she speaks with).

If I were you, I wouldn't waste my energy trying to point out to your BM that she's a delusional hypocrite. Delusional hypocrites always feel as if they have the moral high ground and trying to convince them that they are in fact crazy, is just a losing battle.