SS amazes me yet again, and not in a good way
My brother-in-laws grandpa passed away this Saturday. Now his grandpa, raised him, he was more like a father figure than a grandpa.
My kids and I are going to the funeral as my two boys new this man very very well, spent plenty of time on the farm with him, learned about cows, and crops from him. They are very sad at his passing.
My SS has just had a complete breake down because it is not fair that BS10 gets to miss a day of school and he doesn't.
Please tell me that I am not being extra bitchy just because he is my SS.
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My SS10 said the exact same
My SS10 said the exact same thing wanting to know why my 2BD got to skip school when he couldn't, when my grandma passed away.
I don't think they fully understand at that age - That's what I told myself anyways
I would say that he doesn't
I would say that he doesn't understand but he is 13. I really honestly think he does understand.
My BS10 has gone to the coast with us 3 times. It has just always worked out the the SKids couldn't come (mom wouldn't let them, what ever). SS has actually said to me BS can't go with you anymore untill I get to go three times. Again, this is coming from a 13 year old. He acts like he is 5 or 6.
Been there, done that, and
Been there, done that, and even WORSE. SD17... 14? maybe at the time... said at the calling hours with the entire family there... "I want to go to the funeral, so I don't have to go to school!" In a very HAPPY, LOUD, voice! I have never been more embarrassed!
"I will not take responsibility, where I do not have authority." ~ MeanOleMe
I just so do not
I just so do not understand..
I had no idea you were
I had no idea you were talking about a 13 year old. I thought you SS must have been 8 or 9 or so. Someone that old definitely understands and unless he has some sort of developmental disability should get over it. I would not spend too much time worrying about whether or not you are being a bitch. Does his father know he is behaving this way?
His father is out of town,
His father is out of town, at the moment, he knows about what he said about the coast trip, he said, "SS feelings are hurt cause he never gets to go with us".....
He has no developmental disabilities, and I agree with you that he should get over it, but he won't.
Just to give a bit more insite. At christmas time, once the kids have opened there presents, he runs to the computer and looks up prices, and makes sure that everyone had the exact same amount spent on them. Actualy that only happened once, and the Step-Mom-from-Hell (aka me) lost her mind, and it never happened again at our house.
I think u get this with kids
I think u get this with kids all round, but the reaction does seem extreme. I think the problem is a cry for attention as prob feels yor child gets more love attention etc, I would pretty much figure the boys absent parent doesn't help things? Albeit I posted here coz of my own step parenting problems I also grew up with a step parent, mother (absent) did things that didn't really help me at the time i don't recall having such a bad reaction as yr ss but I did have a resentment of my step brother as i did feel he got better treatment, I was so wrong.
Kapes1, I understand that
Kapes1, I understand that point of view, thank you for pointing that out to me.
What I don't understand, is why his sister wouldn't feel the same way. It's not like their bio-mom's parents don't spoil them rotten, and buy them everything and give them $100 at a time.
The fact that his dad's out of town, doesn't really affect him, as he doeesn't live with us.
Oh well guess it is just something I will have to learn to live with.
You know I watch my skids(5
You know I watch my skids(5 of them) and see some of this. But it really varies from kid to kid, from one or two I have seen extreme reactions at the thought someone else got more, in all honesty whilst of course I support fairness I don't support the extreme type reactions that can happen. Whilst the differences kid to kid can vary and seem like a mystery the reasons ate down to pecking order and experiences sometimes that can add up to less than good things
First I would like to say
First I would like to say I'm very sorry for your loss.
Here are some things you could share with your SS (I just pasted the rules that I thought applied the best)
.....
Rule #1. Life is not fair Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents. Who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, They realized Rule #1.
Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your-school does, it will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you mess up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.
Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.
Rule #11. Enjoy life while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Thank you middlemom, that
Thank you middlemom, that might work!
The unfortunet thing is,
The unfortunet thing is, that SS has no emotion. NOne, he is like a flat person. His pet bunny ran away, (that he had for 3 years), and all he said was "oh bunny ran away". His dad asked him if he was upset and he said "na, whatever".