It's our anniversary, FH doesn't remember and SD comes tonight.
Arghhhh. I know I am going to sound selfish and like a bitch but I don't even care anymore. I already know that FH forgot our anniversary, he would have mentioned it this morning before work if he remembered. Plus, as soon as he gets off work he has to pick up SD8 for the weekend. Yay. (can't you feel the sarcasm???) That means we get her again in 2 weeks, which is my birthday. I know BM switches the weekends around on purpose to spoil any chance for me to have a good time. In our 3 years together we have had SD8 for everyone of my birthdays and our anniversary. To tell you the truth, I am pretty pissed off. I want to yell and fight with him about this, but of course I can't because of the children. Arghhhh. I am so frustrated. FH tells me that I am his #1 priority and that I mean so much but here we are, 3 years later to the day, and he forgets our anniversary. I won't be surprised if he forgets my birthday again this year. He forgot it 2 years ago and last year he just didn't bother to get me anything. This year for his birthday the ENTIRE family (his parents, mine, brothers, sisters, etc.) went out to a really nice dinner. I can't even get that.
I just want to scream. Every time we get into a serious arguement I get told by FH how selfish I am. Bullshit. I am 25 with gray hair and split ends, I don't ask for money to get it done. Shoot my razor blade has rust on it, I am out of dryer sheets, low on shampoo and lost my tweezers. I look for change lying around the house to be able to buy myself a snack and drink at school. Never once have I bitched at him, even though daily he "forgets" I mentioned that I need these things.
I am losing my patience with this relationship. Right now its the jealousy that's getting me. SD8 had over $1000 spent on her for her birthday. He can't even remember our anniversary.
Maybe I shouldn't say anything at all. I have been thinking about putting his card and his gift in our vanity mirror, so that when he gets home this evening after he picks up SD8 and finishes his shower, he will open the mirror to get his deoderant out and realize how much of an asshole he really is.
I feel like I am detatching myself from FH. I feel like I come last, and I know that I deserve more. I play friggen susie homemaker every day for this guy and can't get him to set a wedding date. He actually had the audacity to tell my best friend last weekend when she asked when we were going to get married that he has a 5 year rule I have to stick around for 5 years before he will talk marriage. Ummm, excuse me, Mo***** Fu***** then tell me why you proposed to me after one year together?!?!?!
Argghh.. someone help me. I don't know what to do anymore 
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Wow MollyBee
I'm like a spoiled brat when it comes to those type of things so definitely don't feel bad.. I would put the card in the mirror and when he says "gee, I'm sorry.." don't make a big deal about it.. We pick SS 5 up today too after work, but.. I am going to happy hour with my co-workers-and tomorrow I asked DH to attend a funeral with me and told him my daughter 16 can watch SS5 for an hour or two while we're gone.. Seems like I have to steal time away with DH even if it's attending a funeral to get a little private time.. Maybe you need to find a way to steal some time with him or without him too?
That hurts
Believe me I know!! My DH is very good about remembering those things, but my Ex was terrible. My birthday is three days after Christmas and my whole life, I've gotten lost in the shuffle. So now, I HATE birthdays!!! On my 1st mother's day, when I told my Ex that I was hurt because he didn't remember, he asked "Why? You're not my momma." And then we proceeded to go to his family's house so we could celebrate it with his mother. Bless her, she remembered and gave him hell about it, because her husband always did the same thing. But he still did it every year. Or I would get a card AFTER the fact. Stupid me ended up spending 17 years with that loser.
If you feel like this, maybe you should seriously reconsider marriage. It won't get better.
______________________________________
Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
I had a similar problem with my DH
We were engaged for about two years before he actually did it. We cancelled our wedding THREE TIMES before finally doing the deed. The first time he cancelled it was one week before we were due to pay our final deposit. After the third time, I left him. I stayed gone for about 4 months. He kept trying to get me to "date" him again and I was not agreeable to stepping backward and being the girlfriend after being with him for several years. So I refused to date him. I refused to even be his friend and go for simple things like happy hour. He lived in the home WE picked out together and I lived at my place. Finally one day he brought my engagement ring to our office and said he couldn't live without me anymore.
He moved all my stuff into our house again without my help (i flat out refused to move that shit again!) we were married 3 months later.
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
When we first started dating he brought it up
when we first started dating he brought up "anniversaries." To be perfectly honest, I always considered it Labor Day, but the year we met it fell on the 4th, and one month after we met he showed up at my house with flowers. That continued throughout the first year of our relationship. Now, I feel like I am not even in his thoughts. I guess I am so hurt because I am sure SD8 will want to go out to dinner somewhere this weekend, and she will get her wishes granted like she always does, but I get forgotten about.
I am starting to see my relationship with FH as totally one sided and all about him and his daughter. Not to mention we have been waiting for my overage check to come from school and he has been hounding me all morning about whether or not it came in yet. I feel used, and my self esteem has reached its bottom. I don't want to fight with him, because I really don't have the energy for it. But I would LOVE to say, "Next time you feel like telling me how much you love me or how much I mean to you, save your breath."
Hi Molly....
and happy anniversary...now,,,listen to me, missy....LOL....u take that overage check and u go have a "day of beauty"....u get yur hair, eyebrows, nails, etc. done...now..we determine how people are going to treat us by what we set as standards...yur FH thinks he can get away with neglecting u and allowing u to neglect yurself for the sake of everyone else....u need to send him a serious message that YOU are going to make yurself yur #1 priority and then see if his attitude changes..now he may not like it...but if he can't accept it, at least yu'll know what yur life would have been like if u married him. Lets face it...when we are dating....those dating anniversaries are important to us women, maybe not so much to men, but its the other ways in which u seem to be neglected by FH that would concern me. Honey, trust me....NO ONE except for maybe yur Mommy is gonna make u #1 in their life if u don't make yurself #1 in yur own life...it took me almost 50 yrs to learn that...I am a much better wife, SM, friend, sister, employee, etc all because I make myself my first priority. Then, I am willing to take care of everyone else...now...go take a day all to yurself...and when he asks where the overage check is...say..."oh u like my hair?..it was my anniversary gift to myself" ;).....LOL....
"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"
Lotus
is right on. The only power others have to make you feel bad, is the power that YOU give them. Take your check and treat yourself.
"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton
Molly
Your not married to this man yet and you are not happy...so why stick around to see if he's going to propose or not. I'd tell him to stick his 5 year rule up his 'you know what'. Girl, your better than this, you don't have to sit around and live like this...I agree with Lotus...take your money and spend it on yourself, or spend it to get the hell out!
I have to agree. I know that
I have to agree. I know that he propose but that was probably just to get you to stick around for his "5 yr rule". Believe me, it isn't worth it.
It is hard to start over, I know, but if you are not married I would really sit down and think about what you want.
A spoiled 8 yr old will always be spoiled. If you can't take it now know that it will be the same or get worse when you are married.
So how did it go? Did he end
So how did it go? Did he end up remembering??
He forgot :(
He forgot, and was OUTRAGED at me for bringing it up. It turned into a huge fight with neither of us speaking to each other. It absolutely broke my heart.
We lost our home to a fire 3 days before Christmas last year, and we just moved into our newly rebuilt home a few months ago. I told him fine, you don't wanna talk marriage, I'll tell you what I am taking in advance if we ever split. I listed every appliance in the kitchen, 2 televisions, etc. He just laughed. He says, "Why do you think we are ever going to split? I work and come straight home to you every single day." I said ya, I appreciate that. However, I need to look out for me and my daughter first. You don't want to get married right now, and I am not sticking around forever for you to decide you want to marry me. We have been engaged for 2 almost 3 years now. My family is even majorly starting to doubt him.