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Step-daughter 13yrs old only child

Missyng's picture

I have two sons and a grandson. Stepdaughter is an only child until now. 

My step-daughter is a manipulative brat! We have her 50/50. She pouts everytime she is here and changes the entire vibe of the house. She literally sits in her room for five days straight. Only coming out to eat and shower than straight back to her room. I find it disrespectful that her dad doesn't tell her to at least great the rest of the household before locking herself in her room. 

She is rude to everyone. She told her dad that she doesn't Like sharing a shower and wants her own. She doesn't like to share anything. She's even rude the my one year old grandson. 

Lately she has been mocking me by making fun of the way I speak. Lastnight, I finally had enough and spoke up about it. My fiance told me that I was being ridiculous. He went to her room called her out and said this, "you need to apologize to Melissa for mocking her and she takes everything personally". He said that I was overreacting because I was drinking. Ummm...no! It is disrespectful for a child to mock anyone let alone an adult. 

Am I wrong?

Comments

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I hate it when BPs blame SP for Thier kids behavior. My SO does the same thing, it's funny how EVERYONE but SO feels the same way about SKs. But hey it's SP right?

Ursula's picture

My SD is 7 and similar. She is here half the time and when she's here the whole vibe of the house changes. She's a snotty pouty brat and I can't stand it. Last night I was planning to stay up til midnight but my SD was being so pouty and giving off this nasty attitude I just went to bed to get away from her. I hate that I can't even enjoy my own house half the time. 
And no, you're not wrong. Good for you for calling out her behavior. She shouldn't be mocking you. 

Winterglow's picture

No, you're not wrong and your bf is way out of line suggesting that YOU were the problem when it's his abysmal parenting and the resulting self-centred, obnoxious, selfish brat that are the problem. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Sounds like she has partially learned her bad behavior from her mean, disrespectful, manipulative, gaslighting father.

You have a BF problem, and SD is a symptom of that. My DH would have (and has) doled out consequences within seconds of either of his sons saying a cross word to me. God help them if they actually made fun of me!

Your BF isn't a good partner or parent.

Left out mama's picture

That is so annoying. 
don't get me wrong I love my SD9. I really do. She is also an only child (well she as two half siblings from BM that live on the other side of the country. So she is raised as an only child because BM is only allowed supervised visits. That's a whole other post)

 But sometimes she gets so arrogant and selfish. She has recently taken to her opinion being right, and if you don't agree you are just wrong. She clearly know better than everyone else.

she also can DEMAND attention. She will go in the shower and "sing". She is going for volume only, not even trying to stay on pitch. She does this to make sure that even when she is not in the same room as us, she remains the center of attention.

so when she decides to wall herself in her room and ignore us.... honestly... I enjoy it because I'm not having to deal with her diva attitude.

Missyng's picture

I'm being to notice that it is a joy that she sits in her room. We don't have to deal with moping, attitude, and disrespectful. 

Dogmom1321's picture

Yes, SD10 just sits in her room too. Only emerging to eat food. It's nice to not be around the negativity. It can be embarassing though when neighbors/family ask "Where is ______?" 

DH just says "She's an anti-social hermit."and leaves it at that. Lol. 

Winterglow's picture

That's actually a pretty good answer lol. If they look at him a bit strangely, he can always add "...like most teenagers"

Cover1W's picture

You need to have a firm discussion with your DH about backing you up and supporting you in your reasonable response to a teen attitude. Don't take it from him AND your SD.

If he doesn't agree that you will respond immediately and firmly against attitude, like you would with anyone else who did it to you, then you either refuse to interact at all or you leave when she is there, if possible.

CLove's picture

Little monsters grow into big monsters.

If you stay and this behavior continues and your SO doesnt stop it hard and fast, it will get worse.

oneoffour's picture

Well as the others have said your fiance is to blame because kids only learn how to behave from their parents. So I would tell him that he is entirely responsible for her and she has nothing to do with you. He is in charge. If she states she wants her own bathroom, ignore her. If she is rude to you say nothing but grin at her and walk away. If she is rude to guests, explain to your guests she is a product of her upbringing. 

Eventually your BF will pick up on your "Don't give a sh1t" change in demeanour and may or may not say something, I wiould expect him to back up his daughter at which time you say "Well, I suppose this is my exit scene. I will make other arrangements to live elsewhere and be out in 6 weeks. Good luck with your daughter liking your next girlfriend. She will not like anyone who takes her place in your life."

 

And start looking for alternative living arrangements. He is not that great a catch. Any man who allows his daughter to behave like this has no right including another woman in his life.