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Someone talk me off the ledge.

MissK03's picture

I'm so livid right now I can't even explain. 

So Wednesday we got very sad news about our 7 year old American bulldog/boxer. She went to the vent because of a lump on her back but, that was just a fatty tumor and the X-rays showed she has a large mass in her lung and stomach. She's had a rough year with cancer... leg amputated last October, a nipple had to be cut in off in may because of cancer so there really isn't anything we can do. She's acting OK. Still eating and happy but, she's been more sleepy. 

So... here's why I am mad. SD must have texted BM about her so BM decided to take SD to Walmart yesterday and maybe for food. Don't know. Mind you she hasn't done anything with her since august 2019. My guess it had to do with the dog. SO got her after their divorce so it was never BMs dog too. 

WELL! When she picked up SD yesterday she came to the door and was like "cannn I comeeee say hiiiiiii to themmmm?!" SD says yeah and BM walks in to the fucking house!!! I didn't check the cameras yesterday but did today. I was instantly infuriated.

It gets better.... when she brings SD back.... she goes in the backyard hanging out with the dogs and giving them treats. WTF!!!!!! NOOO THIS IS NOT OK!!!

SO didn't mention any of this to me. I don't know if he realized. He is working I already texted him like wtf!! He will see my texts when he turns his phone on. I'll see what he has to say. If he gives me hard time about it I'm going to snap. 

So BM using my dogs to hang out at our house. Guys, I'm ready to explode. 

Edit: When she picked up SD I was working and so was SO. When she dropped SD off SO was home but next door working on his friends house. He didn't come home when BM was there.


tog redux's picture

Sorry about your pooch - I had to watch my previously healthy dog slowly die for a month this summer from a sudden illness. Putting her down was the worst, and I still miss her every day.

As for SD, I hope your SO will read her the riot act? It might not have occurred to her that she shouldn't invite BM in since BM never comes around.

And yes, anything good or bad going on in your lives, BM wants to extract narcissistic supply from - and make she SHE's the one who's helping SD deal with it (in her head, not in reality).

MissK03's picture

It's very sad with animals it's like losing a part of your soul . She's so young too. :/. 

Yepp! 100%

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I wouldn't like BM just randomly popping over for any reason other than an emergency. That's why custody schedules are so great. No surprise visits from BM and no endless texts and phone calls about where the kid is sleeping and when. They only work if you follow them, though. 

OKtoStep's picture

That's a hardline no from me. Had the same issue with my MIL feeding my chonk-prone GSD over the fence. Dog was on a strict diet AND it was my dog. Time to get a restraining order banning BM from your property. 

MissK03's picture

Ok update: 

SO did NOT realize BM was in the house. He said he saw her on the back porch (via camera) I told him NONE OF IT WAS OK! 

He agreed and said that is was real ballsy for BM to walk in like that. He agreed that she was using our dog as a way to get to the skids and our house. 

So he calls her....

Tells her that she can NOT come into our house. She responds with "I was just pettinnngggg the dyingggg dog" kept claiming she was in the "threshold" 

No you weren't we have you ON CAMERA. 

Then she goes with I can't believe it's come to this... I've known you for 20+ years.... I can't even huggg my sonnnnn!!" 


He said something to her like you need to be respectful. She said ok and hung up.

Now, what happens next is totally new.

SO gets another phone call.. he thinks it's her still going.. NOPE her husband! "Why are you yelling at me wife?"


SO goes "BMs husband I'm not yelling at your wife. I have no beef with you BUT When she came to pick up SD yesterday she went into our house while we weren't home and this is not ok. SO explains that he would NEVER do this to them etc. BMs husband claims something it's about the kids (which SO said they aren't kids they are almost adults)  but agreed that BM shouldn't do that. SO said that clearly BM and missk don't get along so BM can't be doing this as it will cause a rift and she shouldn't have anyways (I didn't agree with SO making this statement but whatever) 

SO said he heard BM crying in the background the whole time. Pathetic. 

Then SO calls SD to get to her before BM and just said listen I'm not mad at you or anything but your mom can't come into the house. Especially when we aren't home etc. SD just said ok she understands. 

Shes sick. SO said that poor bastard too doesn't have a clue. (Meaning BMs husband)

Can't make it up!

tog redux's picture

Well, BM's H married a woman who can't even be bothered with her own kids - I'd expect nothing less from a man who thinks that's okay.

If we caught BM in our house via camera, she'd be in handcuffs. So her H should consider himself lucky he's not bailing her out right now.

MissK03's picture

He's bioless and probably wouldn't care if he never saw skids again. He isn't kid friendly (in my words). Never did a thing for them in the 7ish years they have been together. That's kind of  why the kids didn't want to go to her house anymore. 

shamds's picture

That!! Heck my husbands exwife had an affair with current husband whilst married to my husband. Any lies bio mum spews he's too chicken shit to address it or meet my husband because he will never be a 1/4 of the man my husband is!!

Thumper's picture

You too???

Does any of dh's "kids: look like the dude?

true story here.


shamds's picture

Hubbys exwife sabotaged any pregnancy attempts, 1st pregnancy 2 months into their marriage she went to hospital one day claimed she had a miscarriage but hubby suspected she went in for an abortion and passed it off as a miscarriage, didn't even bother to tell him till he got home from work like it was no biggie.

she desperately tried so bad to sabotage any attempts at getting pregnant, hubby was just her atm to use and abuse. They had 3 kids and hubby could not attend any appts, he was to rock to the birth where she screamed at the drs and nurses to cut the baby out of her as she couldn't be bothered with labor or pushi a baby out of her vagina. Hubby was there to pay for the bill.

at home she rarely cared for the kids whilst hubby remained sole income earner their whole marriage. After 3rd kid was born, he felt this was no life to live but had to stay for the kids till his dad convinced him to prioritize his life and sanity against this psychotic abusive narc bitc*!!

all hell broke loose... turns out she'd reconnected with her old highschool bf a year before they separataed and hubbys sister who lived next door and the neighbours knew she was having an affair and no one thought to say anything to my husband. 

youngest sd15 looks a bit like my husband but has her mums fave shape and some of bio mums looks and weirdly is super dark skin coloured, darker than hubby or bio mum, sd25 100% looks like bio mum (no hubby in her) she loves to remind hubby he owes her cs indefinitely despite being in graduate fulltime employment since feb 2018

ss22.5 has hubbys face shape, tiny looks like hubby but mostly biomum.

if biomum had gotten pregnant the last year before hubby initiated the divorce, it wouldn't be hubbies since he refused to have sex with her. He was no longer desperate for it and was repulsed by her.

weirdly enough, my 2 kids with hubby, are exact replicas of daddy with fairier skin since i am eurasian and very fair skin coloured. Somehow my kids look more like hubby. Hubbys siblings also most of the kids follow the looks of hubbys siblings, very rarely do they completely follow the inlaws looks. Hubbys family have certain bone structure and features

i won't go down the line of hubby questioning paternity because in his asian country, its assumed by the courts and birth registry dept that any births during that marriage are the product of that marriage!!

i will say this though, all of my skids hubby says are exact replicas of bio mum. Not one of them inherited hubbys behaviour or work ethic... they are just as effed up as their crazy mum and her family

Gimlet's picture


So this dumb ass woman, who can't be bothered to take her custody time with her own kids, has the audacity to waltz into YOUR home, the home of the woman who has sacrificed so much of her own free time and life to raise the kids that BM has all but abandoned, and then she cries about it when she's told no??  And has her husband call your DH??

I seriously want to punch her in the neck. If she cared so much about her kids perhaps she should try picking them up regularly.

MissK03's picture

It's mind blogging!! Her whole train of thought is insane. 

Sooo.... let me get this straight? You can only hug your son on our back deck, porch, or house??!! WTF are you talking about??! 

She kept telling SO "she didn't understandddddd." He said I don't care you you don't understand. Don't go in my house. It's my house, not your house. That's when she said ok bye and I'm assuming gave her husband her half ass story. 

Him calling SO is a whole new level. In the end her husband agreed soooo..... what we're saying again BM??! Tears streaming down her face because she was told she couldn't go in her ex husbands house..LOLL 

She hasn't been in our house since like September 2017.... don't know why she thought it would be ok now... 


shamds's picture

If exwife ever came into our home, i'd call the police!! Even if ss22.5 invited her over, its not his home!! Yes he lives in there rent free but rarely takes care of it and no way hubby would let that crazy bitch set foot in our house

tog redux's picture

You give her too much credit for non-toxic thinking.  Her train of thought was, "Hehehehe, they aren't home, I'M GOING IN!" Then she turns on the waterworks when she gets caught, a skill she's probably been practicing since age 6, but which no longer works on your SO. 

MissK03's picture

It was planned... she hasn't come even to the door like that in years and used SD and my dying dog to get in our house. She had that on her agenda. 

And... when she dropped SD off SO was next door at his friends (so his car was in the driveway) working on his house so her hanging out on our back deck was her hoping SO would notice and come out so they could have a "family" moment with MY dogs. This is 100% how she is. 

Plus, SO had just gotten into a fight with her two weeks prior. She was grasping for SOs attention. It's always been like this... 

Then... she didn't get what she wanted (and caught) so her pathetic 40 almost 41 year old self started crying like a toddler. 

tog redux's picture

These people are always testing boundaries to find out the weak areas for sure. Your SO handled it well. 

MissK03's picture

He 100% did. Even when things were "cool" with BM she NEVER hung out at our house like that. Sooo after everything that's happened she thinks it's acceptable?? Come on. Everything she does is how will it benefit her and what she can get away with it. Nothing is genuine. 

Peach's picture

No way.  She needs to keep her a$$ out of your house.  period.  Good on your hubby for calling it out.