Curious on how this will go.
So SS20 will be 21 in two weeks. Now.. SS20 and I do not speak. I'm so over him and I just think he is fake like his BM. I haven't spoken to him in months and leave the room when he enters it. He has treated me like garbage basically from the start (he was 12 when I met him) and his attitude towards me has not changed well into adulthood. We've had some major blowouts this year and I am just done. SO naturally still makes excuses for him but whatever.
So even though he rarely sees her he talks to BM a lot. I can't confirm but just by what SD says.. They have the same selfish brain and BM just babies with they way she speaks. He is still very much behind emotionally IMO.
Now BM and her husband are big drinkers/partiers.. involved in a ton of social clubs and live that ride or die lifestyle.
Now that SS20 is turning 21 I'm wondering if he will be hanging with BM drinking at the clubs they are affiliated with... I'm sure for his birthday this will 100% happen... SO will NOT be pleased with this...and I am hoping she doesn't pick this kid up at our house and drop him off hammered but this is definitely I strong possibility.
She's just soooo cool... or wants to be...
SS20 works m-f basically 5am-630pm and gets drug tested so he can not be out and about during the work week but on the weekends now I'm not sure what he will do.
He rarely leaves the house on the weekends. He doesn't have too many friends and the ones he does kind of have their own lives still in school.
But BM has a strong hold on him even though she hasn't contributed to his life in basically 10 years....IMO a lot of the issues I have with him are because of her. She's tried VERY hard to ruin my relationship with SD (while doing absolutely nothing for her) and SS19 saw right through her BS early on. He hasn't spoken to her in almost a year..SS20 though... just can't process or see things for reality.
Him and SO have an ok relationship but the kid just talks about himself... he follows SO around everyday for 30 minutes complaining about work, talking about this person or that person yada ya da. But I swear he is only nice because he NEEDS SO... if that makes sense.
We are having a pizza party for him with SOs family but I will not be contributing... no bday gift from me or anything... I already see the pending fight between SO and I... sorry SO it's a boundary I need for myself...
EDIT: SD17 and I are going to Miami for a long weekend in August... this is really going to trigger BM. Wonder what major guilting she's going to pull when she finds that out... SD has learned to ignore her basically though...
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Ugh I don't have any advice
Ugh I don't have any advice but I'm sorry you're dealing with having him in your home. Any plans for him moving out?
I wish. BM bought a house out
I wish. BM bought a house out of state and she plans on moving and renting to SS20. When we first heard about it it was suppose to be a year to renovate... here we are almost 2 years and no sight... it's depressing for me.
H3ll no!!!
H3ll no!!!
These trifling conniving mentally unstable BMs can reclaim FULL custody (no child support) of their kids the second they hit 18 and/or graduate from high school.
When I dealt with that Disneyland Dad I told his a$$ straight up ... I don't want any over grown disrespectful dependents (might give an exception for my bio since she is mostly respectful and independent) in my peaceful home
He was like "Oh my goodness! What is my son going to do and where is he going to live?!"
Well mfer if you had removed the feminine traits in yourself you never would raise your son to be a lazy moocher especially off women. If he's mooching off women he can mooch off his breeder bc we don't do that over here!
After spawns age out, Breeders need to deal with the humans they birthed and influenced .... 24/7
"You are now THE elite employee!" ... upon legal age of skid adulthood, Dh's will immediately resign and then promote BMs to operating manager/sole proprietor of their B. Beck n Call Enterprises that they founded lol!!!
It’s his life ,
He's a adult , he can dob what ever he wants. Just get him out of your home. He and BM can do wyatvghetvwabtm it's no concern of yours.
I get your speculating, but
I get your speculating, but it's probably less stressful to get the "what ifs" out of your mind and start conversations with SO about getting SS out of the house, particularly in that the two of you don't get along. I can't imagine living with someone I don't speak to.
SO will never do anything. I
SO will never do anything. I'll have to leave. SO has told SS20 that HE will leave before me but he will never make him move out. It's a lost cause.
SS19 doesn't speak to him either because he tormented him for half his life and for how he's treated me.. they also are just two very different people.
It's not easy living...
Past behavior being the best
Past behavior being the best predictor of future performance, it is not difficult to forecast how these failed family issues will behave and have some basic counter plans in place to immediately increase their discomfort when they do behave as their history predicts that they will.
Complete with some scripted immediate responses.
The DH may not do anything but MissK03 most certainly can and IMHO should bring escalated discomfort to bear immediately and have that scripted to the likely toxic Kidult behaviors. If the daddy has no testicular fortitude, then he can stand back and gnash is teeth while MIssK03 deals with his failed family issues.
IMHO of course.
Once again.
It's your life.... no one especially me, can tell you how to live it. But being disrespected by your DH can't. Help your marrage . I would give serious thoughts on your future.