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Ready to SCREAM !

mindex's picture

We have a new situation :
BM and SD 19 had applied for, and somehow got, an apartment together. They were to move in tomorrow, Oct. 1st.
( Of course no deposit was made, or papers signed yet)
BM "stopped by" last Sunday and took the SD's out for awhile, only to let them know she was moving THE NEXT DAY to Pittsburgh with her "new love". She then instructed them not to tell ANYONE, especially Grandparents and DH and me !
We sensed something was wrong when BM brought them home and both were crying. They immediatly told us everything, because they were very upset.
BM has done this before, differnt guys, different states. She is a total trainwreck.
My issue is : Now we have BOTH girls, ALL the time. There is never a time we have "off" anymore.
DH of course feels terrible for them, and is doing his level best to be there. But he is not the "Mom", and so they are consequently taking out the resentment on him.
SD 19 sleeps all day till we get home from work , about 6:30. She then eats, and goes straight to her laptop for the rest of the night, and is up all night doing so. She is not looking for a job or enrolled in any college classes.She only does household tasks if she is asked to do them.
A couple days ago SD 16 snapped at DH in response to a simple question he asked.I snapped back and said I am going to start speaking to her BF the way she talks to mine ! I think she got the message because she is avoiding speaking to him when I am in the room.
I am considering Family counseling at this point.
I am so frustrated, and can't deal with this crap anymore.
I am ready to scream.
I would not have tolerated this behavior in my own kids ( their Dad abandoned us, too) and feel it is wrong to tolerate it in his ! Sad

Comments

Willow2010's picture

I can’t stress this enough. For those of you that have not talked to your DH about kids living in your home after high school graduation, go do it now!!!!

Before DH and I married we agreed and told all kids that they can live at home after high school ONLY if they were enrolled in college FULL time AND worked AT LEAST half time.

Maybe take this to your DH and see what he has to say about it…

I do feel for your skids, but the 19 year old need some direction and the 16 year old is typical teen.