I'm new to this website and found it while I was Googling for information about my frustration with my situation. It's amazing when I read all the different posts & comments and how similar my situation is to others'. I've been reading ST for a few weeks now because none of my family/friends can really relate to my frustrations, as none of them have ever dated or been married to someone that was married before or had children from previous relationships. I'm still learning all of the different abbreviations for things (i.e. DH = divorced husband?, BM = biological mother?, SS10 = 10 year old stepson, CS = child support?, etc...) and I think I have the hang of it now. I've been dating my boyfriend (FH) for about 6 years now - we aren't married or even engaged yet, but we've been living together for about 2 years. FH is divorced and has 1 adopted child (SS25) and 2 biological children (my future SD15 & SS12) from his previous marriage to his ex-wife (BM). SS25 is actually BM's son from a previous out-of-wedlock relationship. FH was legally & physically separated from his ex-wife (BM) since 2003 and they have been divorced since 2006. Most of my frustration stems from the fact that FH allows BM to treat him as poorly as she wants and FH is very non-confrontational with BM - just short of doormat status and sometimes it is so pathetic. I have very little direct contact with BM and the few times that we have, she is nice to my face but I am smart enough to know how she really feels. She has done many things in the past to sabotage the loving, caring relationship with skids that has taken me years to build. BM and I are pretty much opposites - she is very strange (into wicca, witchcraft, tattoos, etc...) and is a total drama queen. She is in her early 40's and still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. She's been going to school to become a nurse and just started working a steady job (which to her means part-time hours the max) at the beginning of this year for the first time in her life. We have 50/50 shared custody of skids with BM, yet FH pays full child support to BM. You see, here in NY, payment of child support is based on who makes more money than whom. The "monied" spouse is deemed the non-custodial parent for purposes of CS and generally must pay full support, even though custody is 50/50. So even though we have the skids living with us 3-4 days a week, FH still pays full CS to BM as if he is a weekend Dad. It is so ridiculous and unfair and I have no respect for her for this reason and many others. There is also literally no discipline or rules or chores when the skids are with her (and I'm sure the kids feel that being at BM's house is so much more fun because of this). I can see exactly why some men run for the hills when it comes to marriage & having children - women like her are why. She has absolutely no appreciation whatsoever for what a great father FH is to his children - he would do anything for them. She treats FH like an ATM machine and skids like they are the ATM cards that get her to the money. Wow, this post is a lot longer than I intended it to be (sorry!). Thank you, ladies, for allowing me to keep my sanity because I realize by reading the postings on this website that I am not alone and not crazy for feeling the way I do sometimes. Does anyone else have a similar situation to mine?