DH has a "strategy" for his CS court battle with BM - a good laugh for everyone!!!
Hello everyone!! I'm an "old-timer" here at StepTalk that just hasn't posted in quite a while (sorry).
I was wondering if I could get everyone's thoughts/opinions on THIS "wonderful" idea by my DH (eyes rolling with sarcasm).
BM has filed a Petition for Modification of Child Support in court (UPWARD modification, of course).
DH seems to have a "strategy" for this whole BM CS crap. Are you ready for it???
Wait for it...
Wait....
Wait...
He told me that he's THINKING ABOUT making BM an offer (something like $20,000) for a lump-sum payment/buyout of CS for both skids for the remainder of time he has left to pay her (SD is 18 & SS will be 15 this week). He said he's going to tell the attorney that this has to be an "air-tight" agreement, though - meaning that there will be NO LEGAL WAY for BM to be able to pursue ANY MORE CS MONEY from him if she accepts this lump-sum payment.
I told him:
1. BM will NEVER go for such a LOW amount (because she is "entitled" to approx. $120,000 over the next 6 years if we lose in court), DESPITE how money-hungry she is - he disagrees & thinks she'll "jump" at this money.
2. BM will ALWAYS be able to take him back to court every 2 yrs (until SS turns 21) for more CS - and if she does, SHE will win because the Court will probably somehow deem their buyout agreement "void" as against public policy (since CS is technically & legally the CHILD'S right to support) and because CS can NEVER be "waived" -- both of my theories are in line with my prior research of NYS case law regarding CS.
Question/Poll:
Out of curiosity to all of you out there (especially the BM's)...would YOU take the $20,000 "buyout" from YOUR ex/child's daddy????? I mean, ASSuming that if you accepted this money, that would be IT - no way to get more money from him legally.
I'd LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to hear your thoughts on this!!!
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Comments
Lump sums don't work for
Lump sums don't work for child support. Child support is always modifible if the finanacial situations meet the critera for a modification. And there is no way I would take 20K if my ex owed me 120K. CS is pretty cut and dry, numbers in and a number out.
Thanks for your reply,
Thanks for your reply, SanAntonioSoccerMom.
To clarify, NO, DH doesn't presently owe BM $120,000 (sorry if my OP came across that way). What I'm saying is, that if DH "loses" the court case (and BM gets CS increased), he will be paying BM approx. $120,000 IN THE FUTURE over the next 7 years. There is no CS arrears (nor has there ever been) - DH pays BM CS biweekly on-time and has been doing so for over 6 years now, he's like a Swiss Army watch lol.
DH shares true 50/50 joint legal & physical custody of skids with BM (and have for almost 9 years now - since 2003). They live with us 4 days/week, then 3 days/week alternating weeks.
Since NYS law deems DH the "noncustodial parent" for purposes of computing CS (and ONLY because he makes A LOT more money than BM does), BM receives CS...and a pretty penny at that ($1,600/mo. for 2 kids). BM has NEVER worked full-time a day in her life - she's 46 years old now. BM lives off the CS $ - she only works about 16 hrs/wk. as an LPN at a nursing home. Oh, and she's a "career student"...meaning she has been pursuing her Associates Degree (2 yr degree) at the local community college for over 8 years now - and STILL doesn't have it!! She told the Support Magistrate at the most recent CS hearing that she only works 16 hrs/week "because she's a STUDENT"!!!
Does NY have deviation for CS
Does NY have deviation for CS for incomes greater than 80K? I thought I remember that from another board I used to frequent? 50/50 and $1600 a month in CS? That is insanity.
I don't think she'll take it
I don't think she'll take it if shes a control freak like my bm and wants to have a reason to " communicate" with him. That gives her a reason for contact with him. If shes not like that and shes broke she may take it. Who knows with some of these crazy bm's! Good Luck with the outcome!
Thanks for your insight,
Thanks for your insight, flipflops.
Yep, BM here is DEFINITELY a control freak - no two ways about it! She's one of the most selfish, dependent, narcissistic women I've ever known. Don't get me wrong, she is broke -- but she has since found a new man to leech off of and is now dependent on HIM. She recently moved into HIS house, he bought her a new car (and he probably pays her car insurance as well), he probably pays all the utilities still, etc...
So even though she's broke (in the sense that she has NO ASSETS, never saves money, bad credit, etc...) and intentionally underemploys herself -- I STILL think she WON'T take the lump-sum either. She's not "desperate" enough, she's already got the NEW GUY supporting her (sucker). She's just continue to make DH "bleed" for as long as she's "legally entitled" to.
Oh, if his attorney is worth
Oh, if his attorney is worth anything, he/she will have a tough time not laughing at the suggestion. And then the attorney would hopefully spend time trying to convince DH that his/her time, and DH's money will be better spent in fighting the modification.
That's probably the silliest thing I have ever heard.
And, personally, if I were ever in that position of being offered such a thing, I'd turn it down. It would be easier on all sides to continue with regular CS payments. Especially because it's hard to say if such a lump sum would be taxable or not whereas CS is not taxable. It just makes more fiscal sense.
I know I'm going to regret
I know I'm going to regret replying to this but, seriously? You sound just like our GUBM, except for not making your ex pay CS. GUBM would never dream of walking away from the bank of SO
Your kid can't ever spend the night Christmas Eve with her father? You don't think 50/50 custody or even an every weekend visitation schedule is stable? Are you serious??
Because, what, it's unstable for a kid to get to see her father regularly? :eyeroll: What's unstable is infrequent visitation and contact, your kid not knowing when she'll talk to or see her dad. THAT'S unstable.
I understand you're saying that he didn't want to see her more than infrequently, but, I'm wondering if your opinions of the matter had anything to do with his choices. Because it really sounds like you would fight tooth and nail for your Ex-h to not have any proper visitation schedule even if he wanted one. It really seems like you have one backwards opinion after another.
Sorry if you take offense to my response here, but, I have to deal with a BM that fights tooth and nail to keep my SO from having a proper visitation schedule with his daughter, and he wants one desperately. She has told him that he's never allowed to have his daughter overnight on Christmas Eve because SD needs to be with her family (because, somehow, in her twisted mind, SO isn't part of SD's family...) on Christmas morning. She has complained constantly about the "instability" that weekend visitation, then reduced to every other weekend visitation (which was still unstable in her "brilliant" mind), provided to HER daughter and her home. Yet, SO seeing SD infrequently isn't unstable, not at all.
Very good point, OD. I would
Very good point, OD.
I would be VERY wary of walking into this situation and offering up a large sum of money. What an offer like that would say is that your DH has come to negotiate and offered up a "starting point", if you will. This could go south quickly. Not to mention that it will absolutely appear that he has a LOT of disposable income available, and the offer will likely screw him in the end when BM's attorney gives him the shake down. Things often lean in the custodial parent's favor anyway, so it doesn't help his case at all...in fact, just mentioning his ability to write a check like that to anyone but his attorney (who should shut down the idea immediately, btw), has the potential to HELP BM get more out of him.
It may be irritating (because you guys know the background) that BM is "in school", and chronically under-employed, but it won't make a lick of difference in court. They'll just set her income to your state's minimum wage (if her 16 hours a week earns her less than that), and tap your DH at the calculated amount. That's protocol, and your DH would be hard-pressed to find a judge anywhere that would sign off on such terms.
I can totally understand WHY he would want to do this though. Oh, the joy of just being DONE with BM, especially with regard to finances. It would just really suck to spend the last couple of years getting hit in the wallet even harder because of an ill-hatched plan to break free a bit sooner than originally anticipated. He would be extremely foolish to make this offer without getting at least a few different opinions, (and finding legal precedence as well, for reference), and the explicit encouragement of his attorney. Good luck. We are in the end stages of CS as well....and the idea certainly has some attractive features. Let us know how it pans out!
I would absolutely WANT to
I would absolutely WANT to offer our BM a lump sum. We're just a hair over $11k left to go, (although DH is convinced she's going to try to take us to court for money until SDstb17 is 21) and I would be thrilled to be done with that bitch. But, after next month, the next time I have to see BM is SDstb17's high school graduation in 18 months, so I could have it worse.
But here's the thing - LUMP SUMS ARE ALWAYS CONSIDERED A GIFT! What is your DH using for a brain, manure? ESPECIALLY with the screwjob that NYS inflicts on NCPs (and I remember your posts from the past - yours were some of the ones that made me :jawdrop: )
As a custodial BM- I would
As a custodial BM- I would never agree to one lump sum.
As a NC SM. Is kill my husband for thinking of it.
That being said I might do a lump sum of 6 months. If we pay thru the Child support division its logged as an over payment.
I would love to jack with her monthly payment plan! Never behind, just never let her know how much and when.
You know pay 6 months in advance. Then 2 then 7.
;). Yeah is love it
Hahaha, that's a pretty
Hahaha, that's a pretty clever idea. I really love that, actually.
In my state (MI), CS is not
In my state (MI), CS is not mandated unless the mother/child is receiving some sort of state aid (health insurance, food stamps, etc). With that being said, if the mom/child is not receiving state assistance, she could drop the CS thing altogether (haha) or accept any amount she wanted and the court would uphold that. However, she is not in a position to accept a buy-out if she or the child is receiving state assistance - it would never hold in court.