To the poor server who got stuck with our table today.
No, you did not ring up our order wrong. No, it wasn't your mistake. I'm the one who is sorry. I'm sorry we took skids out to eat and you got stuck with us.
I have asked DH numerous times not to let skids order on their own. Usually it's because they order way too much and waste most of it but also because Ss11 has a speech impediment. No one ever knows what he says. My 3 year old niece is more articulate. Plus he doesn't even make eye contact and confirm when the server repeats the order back to him.
We all ordered, dh and I were talking and not paying attention to skids. When we get our food and skid11 complains loudly that the plate in front of him wasn't what he ordered, DH got the server to fix the skid another plate.
I feel like dh should have made SS suck it up and eat the food he ordered. I used to be a server and I really hated people who did that kind of thing. Skid was wrong. DH should have kept tabs on skids and placed the final order imo. Am I wrong?
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Comments
I think it's demeaning to the
I think it's demeaning to the server to let a child order. I don't know- it's a weird pet peeve of mine. It's just embarrassing for everyone and the server is way too busy and not as amused by our little sweetems as we are.
Exactly. I hated that crap
Exactly.
I hated that crap when I worked in restaurants.
Ss was wrong for not making
Ss was wrong for not making eye contact and correcting the server when the order was repeated back to him. This isn't the first time. He looks at his feet, mumbles, and that's no good when he knows he has problems being understood.
I don't want to sound like I'm dogging the kid for that, he can't help it and he is in therapy. His mom and her clan are mouth breathers so that doesn't help things either. I think most of the blame lies with DH. He really thinks the kids need to feel autonomous and ordering for themselves is a step towards helping them learn how to act in social situations.
It just happens so often. On top of everything, the skids completly lack social graces and table manners and I'm just humiliated every time i go out in public with them.
Well, I'm going the other way
Well, I'm going the other way on this one. Where the heck was this child's father? The one who knows the child has trouble being understood and didn't take, what 2 minutes to pay attention to what SS wanted and ordered it properly? The one was saw a server repeat the order and SS not acknowledge a confirmation?
Yep, I too was a waitress. when I would have trouble understanding a child (I took many many little kiddos order on a Saturday/Sunday morning in a family friendly restaurant), I asked for repeat to child once and if still needed I made eye contact with the PARENT to make double sure I got down what the kiddo wanted. Hell, I've even asked a kiddo to point on menu so there was no mistaking. Dealing with kids and assuring they got exactly what they meant to order was part of my job. I didn't look at a child with a speech impediment any differently than I did at an elderly (or young) person who perhaps have suffered a stroke and had a (ta-da) speech impairment.
Geez, I had kids wipe pancake syrup on me as I stood to gather plates, ten years olds being inattentive and knocking their glass of milk over (yep, over and milk running down over my shoes)...and I never missed a beat. It came with the job. I had little children 1-5yrs get up and run around and head straight at me carrying a very loaded up the arm delivery all the while their PARENT set engaged jaw jacking away together totally oblivious that Jr was even out of their seat. I came with the job, and when the family finally left, it was the PARENT that had totally annoyed me, not the kid.
Crap happens. Life goes on. If SS11 embarrasses you so much, then tell DH you will not be eating out again as a family unless he pays attention long enough to make sure the children get their proper meal orders turned in. It's part of his 'job' as father taking his children into an eatery ...it became his responsibility to see the ordering through when he decided to walk through the restaurant front door with a parade of children behind him.
Just my 2 cents.
Don't forget the times a full
Don't forget the times a full grown middle aged adult ordered x. You know he ordered x because you had repeated to him and he had said 'yes, x, it sounds great', totally confirming his order. Then adult happened to see you carry pass the table a wonderful looking selection of z. Lo' and behold when you brought out the patron's plate of x, they looked at you as if you were an incompetent fool because oh, no, they had actually ordered y. Surely 'I' miswrote the order. Whine whine . And back to the kitchen the plate goes with a smile and a 'sure thing, I'll get that for you immediately".
Didn't you just love working with some 400 to 700 some public citizens daily
actually while it was many years ago, I did love it. It prepared me well to have skills to deal with people over the years that I'd have really rather knocked off their feet
Nope, you are not wrong. In
Nope, you are not wrong. In fact, I've told my own DS 12 that if he can't/won't order properly, we will order for him. Funny, though, that reminds me that when my SS20 was about 10, he began refusing to order off of the kids menu and would order THE MOST EXPENSIVE thing on the adult menu and would eat one bite and leave the rest! I remember one time we stopped for lunch at a restaurant and all ordered sandwiches, and he ordered a big platter of fajitas, which I thought was ridiculous since he would did not eat any vegetables whatever. (He picked out a couple pieces of chicken and that was it.) It used to infuriate me because DH would not say anything to him for fear it would make him not want to visit us. (He stopped wanting to visit anyway.) Example of the double standard. If it were my DS, I'd make him box it up and take it home and that was all he had to eat for later. Don't know if it makes you feel any better, but I can totally relate to regretting taking SSs out to dinner and in being upset that DH would not take control of the situation.
MarieJeanne, very good
MarieJeanne, very good question! My DH almost NEVER told my SSs "no" for fear they would stop wanting to visit. And I'm about 99.9% sure (as sure as I can be without having SS admit it!) that my oldest SS ordered the most expensive thing on purpose, just to ZING us. That is based on the fact that, a few years after all that started, my oldest SS refused to visit and started a metal band where he rewrote history by writing horrible songs about my DH "abandoning" him. It was especially funny to hear the band perform that one with us standing in the crowd. Yes, this was during the "estranged" years, and SS actually had the crowd chant, "You left me, You left me." Who rejected whom?! What's funnier is that my oldest SS is no longer in the band and is on ok terms with DH (definitely no longer estranged), yet the band still goes around performing those songs!
Our two oldest went to
Our two oldest went to college at 17, both very independent and self supporting. That being said, all 3 of mine didn't order for themselves until they were like 13. And I would order for them until they left home if they had a speech impediment! That's just too inconsiderate to the server. But when I was a waitress and a kid ordered for themselves, I'd reiterate it to the parents if they weren't paying attention.
Thank you. A child's
Thank you. A child's development does not hinge on ordering a hotdog.
OMG skids are like wild
OMG skids are like wild animals in a restaurant! The baby has better manners!!!! I feel for u! So sorry =\
Your DH could have used this
Your DH could have used this situation as a teaching moment for the SS on the importance of speaking clearly, making eye contact, and confirming their order. Your DH completely missed a excellent teaching opportunity. The SS will never learn how to function in society if DH keeps babying him and fixing SS's mistakes.