It's not me
I guess I always knew it but I was really starting to doubt myself over the past year. I mean really starting to feel bad too.
I like kids and they like me. I am childless by choice and never spent extended periods of time around kids but on the occasions that I do interact with kids? They talk to me, they vie for my attention, they talk to me about science and math and everything they are studying in school. They laugh, they play, they are a joy to be around. I was around a bunch of really cool, smart kids today. It was fun.
And DH saw it. And he knew. And his sullen, silent, ill mannered, sit there like bumps on a log, boring, can't make eye contact, drink the BM's koolaid, pas'ed out children saw it. And they knew.
It's not me. It's all on them.
Those kids are BM's through and through. DH's pleads that I learn to see them as his, not hers? Impossible. They are unlikable and everyone saw it today. They can't even respond appropriately to any adult who speaks to them. Socially inept. I don't feel bad for ignoring them when I'm obligated to let them to invade my home EOWE. I wonder what was going through their heads as they watched kids their own age acting like decent human beings, conversing with adults and other kids, while those freaking skids sat there in silence.
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Comments
Yeah, I just got a text that
Yeah, I just got a text that DH is on his way home. Skid weekend is over! Yes I'm breathing better myself right now.
^^^ what she said I've dealt
^^^ what she said
I've dealt with the same thing, and Luckymomme hit the nail on the head. They hate you because BM does.
My SK's started out OK, probably because DH kept a lot about me away from BM. But the more the SK's were around me and talked about me, the bitchier she became. To the point the SK's would call her if DH wasn't at our house and they were (i.e., DH would run to the store) and she would miraculously show up and start in on me about something stupid in front of the SK's.
Now, as SK's have gotten older (almost out of high school) I've seen a change in them. They are not having a great time with the BM, as she's made it clear that once CS is done (in 7 months) they are O.U.T. OUT of her house. And I think they're starting to realize I'm really not the bad person they - and their mom - always made me out to be.
That may happen in my case. I
That may happen in my case. I don't know how I'll feel about it if they ever do come around. The wounds are fresh now, I can't imagine getting over it easily.
Oh, it's been difficult! For
Oh, it's been difficult!
For years I didn't trust them as far as I could throw them!! They manipulated BM, my DH... everything that happened in this house (and outside of this house!) was either MY fault, or the fault of my bios. They would tell BM we didn't have food in this house, we made them sleep on the floor, etc which was all total bullshit but she'd fall for it hook, line, and sinker, then call DH who would get frustrated and take it out on me and my kids.
PTSD is a condition that I truly feel one does not "get over", so I still get hinky when they're around although lately things have been well.
The wounds will stay fresh for a long time -- not because they refuse to heal, but they continually get reopened. Honestly, I don't know if things will ever be TRULY OK between us, because there is some history I just can't forget lest it tries to repeat itself.