Has this ever happened to anyone in this group?
DH is convinced that if he were ever to lose his job, he would be sent to jail for nonpayment of child support. There was "some guy he used to work with" who lost his job and then suffered one financial setback after another and was actually thrown in jail for being so behind on CS. I don't buy it. There has to be more to the story. Why wouldn't someone file for CS modification the very same day they lose their only source of income? Doesn't that make more sense?
DH isn't dumb and realizes that this irrational fear is just another symptom in his struggle with depression and anxiety. I used to get panic attacks. I understand irrational fears all too well.
- Mercury's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Could a BM actually do that
Could a BM actually do that if the guy went through the proper channels for modification?
And if she could, why would she risk alienating her kids like that. Hey kids your dad hasn't abandoned you or anything, he still loves you and you see him regularly but I'm not getting the amount of money I'm used to getting anymore so I'm going to try to get him incarcerated. Riiiight.
This ^^^^
This ^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
They're not just going to show up and toss his ass in jail, either. They'll summon him to court to explain himself. If he walks in and says, "I lost my job, I'm broke, I'm trying to find a new job" they won't be happy he did nothing to try modifying when he became unemployed but they will give him a chance to get a new job. It's the guys that ignore it and hide that end up with warrants issued. And that's generally over a year after stopping payments because they do go after drivers license, passport, etc first.
See, WAYYY more to the
See, WAYYY more to the story.
I keep trying to tell DH that. He's an active, loving parent. All he has to do if it ever came to that is continue to be a parent to his kids but go through the hoops to get CS modified. He isn't the kind of guy you described above.
Best question is... has
Best question is... has anyone ever seen a BM go to jail for nonpayment of child support? I suspect we would have a better chance of seeing monkeys fly out of my butt than ever see THIS take place.
I can't help but look at the
I can't help but look at the bigger picture here. We live in such a messed up society.
Men have tremendous expectations placed on them, expectations that aren't there for women. DH can SAY he's an egalitarian, he can SAY he is disgusted by BM's sexist views on gender roles in a family, but the mere fact that he even has this kind of anxiety means that he really does buy into the whole "men are the providers" garbage. Parents are the providers. Gender has nothing to do with it.
We all have a little bit of anxiety about our job security, but his seems so much deeper since he is worried about being PUNISHED if he loses that security. I just worry about the basics: food and shelter. We are a couple, equal contributors with equal status in our home and we have each other's backs on that one. This fear of punishment just breaks my heart.
My ex is King Deadbeat and
My ex is King Deadbeat and perpetually unemployed. In MI, they set a ridiculous low amount of support if you unemployed and if you don't pay it, you just rack up arrearages. He's still out there walking free and I haven't received a payment in years.
In our state, as long as the
In our state, as long as the NCP pays ANYTHING, they will not send them to jail.
My son has aged out of his CS order three years ago. His deadbeat dad still owes over $10K in arrears and doesn't even pay what the court ordered every month and he has had NOTHING done to him. Not even his license taken away or anything.
I didn't realize that becoming a mother could mean you are a banker giving a loan to the other parent at very low interest rate (as I see his picture on FB of him buying a house, siding it and adding a big deck and garage...and buying two snowmobiles...one for him and one for his son that he had with his wife.)
In my area there is way to
In my area there is way to get it down to "poverty wages" I think it like fifty bucks a week only? If you can not even do that, you can pay what you can, just something to stay out of jail. They can not refuse a payment you send them when not garnished. You get lots of warnings and loser your license first, so its not like you miss a month or two and they just come and snatch you up for jail. However, the best thing to do is to communicate with your local agency, not hide. Explain and ask what the options and send what you can.