I am beginning to feel less guilty that I am not going to purchase anything for my skids this year. My DH has decided he isn't giving them any gifts this year and we will be setting them up a savings account that we will be contributing to on birthdays and Christmas and any other occasion. It will be marginally less than what we contribute to my son's savings account for obvious reasons. He feels he pays enough to BM for CS and her car loan (over $1000/month in total). He was never in agreement with their BM on how much money was spent on Christmas gifts for their kids when they were together. He would work overtime for the entire month of November and December to keep up with the bills because two whole paychecks would just go to gifts for them. She was controlling and manipulative when they were together and he has decided he left that for a reason. Every Christmas they were ask 'Is that it'. He received no thank yous, no calls on his birthday, Father's Day or Christmas last year, he has his phone calls, emails ignored, he requested a visit last year for Christmas for January 3 (sent her a registered letter December 1) BM didn't respond until January 2 on the conditions we pick them up because she didn't want to drive them. He pays for that car! We don't even own a vehicle. This year he received an email form BM saying that SS10 wanted a chess set that was worth $600, but she guessed he liked the pajamas we sent instead. After that he says he isn't going to bother. So, we do spend more on my son then his kids at Christmas. Why should our quality of living be decreased in order to further enable these unwanted passive aggressive behaviors. Let BM raise her children as carbon copies of herself. As she says; They are happier without us. Come to think of it. We are happier without them.