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Odd..or is it just me?

Megh's picture

Does anyone else find it odd for an ex wife to babysit her ex husband's girlfriend's children? I was out with a few friend's tonight a discussion arose about a friend of friend who couldn't come out because she was babysitting her ex's gf's kids, and first thought that came to head (but did not emerge out as hatred of my step kids is taboo) 'Way to make the rest of the ex wives and step moms club look bad". Must be nice to have such a harmonious extended blended family (please note overflowing sarcasm). I cannot fathom a future where I would ever babysit my ex husband's step daughter. The thought of BM being in the same room as my child scares me...I have seen the outcome of her "parenting".

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needinginwardpeace's picture

If 'Skankopolis' came near my kids I'm fairly certain she would have my fist lodged firmly in her throat.
And I'm also fairly certain she's aware of that fact.

Having said that, YES it is EXTREMELY ABNORMAL

notagain2012's picture

That's just weird to me. My ex and I and his wife have a pretty good working relationship, but I couldn't even imagine babyditting their kid (my sons half sister) let alone any kids she would have. (she doesnt)

That just seems like asking for trouble. And I wouldn't let SO ex near my kid, when she couldn't even keep custody of hers...

Megh's picture

That is what I thinking: asking for trouble. Yes, they are a few in a thousand of divorced couples who have successfully been able to be amicable for the sake of their shared children. But amongst the reasons I divorced my first husband was because we hit a dead end when it came to being civil to each other. It was one of the reasons I married my current husband, communication was easier and he seemed to understand the needs of my son better than his bio dad. There is no trust or respect remaining and it will take some serious commitment and professional intervention for any to be gained. I can't even trust either my son's BD or his girlfriend with my son. And I have court papers and home assessments that support this. As much as I can not stand my skids, and it would be great retribution to inflict their ill raised behavior on my ex - even if it is for a few hours of babysitting, I wouldn't do it. It takes time for that sort of healing and trust to be rebuilt for someone to accept that sort of responsibility . So, if (in this scenario) the divorce is still pending, separation was two years ago, your ex-husband's girlfriend's kids are calling him 'Daddy' after dating for 2 months; the gf has severed all communication between her children and their BD once she began dating this guy, although their bio-dad has no criminal record, pays child support, and lives within 5 miles from where the children to go school and live? I am sorry, but alert sirens should be ringing in this ex wives head screaming that their is something wrong with this girlfriend. When our mutually friend was telling us her situation I was shocked. This gf reminded me so much of BM. She is the type that would ask strangers to babysit the skids just so she didn't need to parent.

Megh's picture

haha I remember when my DH and I began dating. I'm talking within the first few months. I met the kids once prior to this, FDH never lived at my house, never had any sleepovers if my son was home, never contributed to ANY of my household bills, BM asked
(through my fdh) if the kids could come over to my house so she could look at apartments. Yeah, "come over" when their father was working is me babysitting. So I said sure as long as she sent groceries for their 3 day stay and paid me. I was working full time, a single parent and at the time wasn't receiving a dime in child support from my son's BD. I wasn't feeding them 3 meals and doing their laundry, when I was merely 'dating' their father on my one long weekend off in 3 months while their mother was a lazy drama queen. She gave $20 dollars and a box of donut holes! Future MIL (awesome woman) and my now amazing DH came by and brought me groceries when I was trying to figure out what I got myself into. They both warned me before I accepted that I should say no.

Clearly An Upgrade's picture

"your ex-husband's girlfriend's kids are calling him 'Daddy' after dating for 2 months; the gf has severed all communication between her children and their BD once she began dating this guy, although their bio-dad has no criminal record, pays child support, and lives within 5 miles from where the children to go school and live?"

This is the same thing my DH's daughter's BM does. Anytime she starts a new relationship, my DH becomes superfluous. She's been trying to replace him as father with any random asshole she can find, trying to create her "white picket fence" life. SD is wholly fucked up because of it.

I babysat one of BM's other kids ONCE, in the early years. Not sure what I was thinking at that time....but I can promise that would never happen again. I would NEVER consider letting her near either of my bios.