IMO, I think that each home should provide all necessities and it is not the responsibility of the custodial parent to send 'extras' with the child. The SD (step daughter) may come over in BMs clothes and go home in your clothes. You wash the BM clothes and she can where those home the next time she comes over.

I will NOT pack a bag for my BS or SS when they go to their other parents home. They better have what they need at the other parent's house when they are there. This is JMO though and how I operate.

I'm not sure that one night every other weekend constitutes you having an entire room of clothes and stuff for her, but I guess one or two changes of clothes is okay. As a very recent stepmom, I know that I would never send one of my boys to ANYONE else's house without everything they would need if they were at home. If I was her, I would think of it as a sleepover....Sounds like she might be doing this out of spite....blah to BM's

My fiance and I have been living together for 8 months, and BM would only send over the occassional outfit. Whenever we would buy SD5 clothes, shoes, etc and she took them home we'd never see them again. So just in the last month we've started buying her stuff, and it is not allowed to "go home" with her to BM's home. So now we have plenty of outfits for "Scooty" whenever she stays with us, and if BM doesn't send atleast 1 extra outfit, then BM gets to pick Scooty up in whatever she dropped her off in! This has ended up saving us money, Scooty likes having her clothes at our place, and BM has started remembering to send 1 extra outfit.

"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."

Maybe let her pick out a few outfits and tell her that they are special because she picked them but they get to stay at Daddy's house because Daddy and SM want to be the ones that see her wearing the lovely outfits that she picked out... Then Whatever outfit Bm sends her in you wash it and send her back in it right down to the underwear, BM never has to know what kind of clothes she has at your house.

This is what we do. What they wear to our house is washed and that is what they wear home.

I do make exceptions for socks and undies. Sometimes they need thrown away, sometimes they are the wrong freaking size or I just dont get whites washed that weekend.

It's bad enough to not get cloths back, that they left in.
I don't send over extra stuff.

The only time I do anything extra is if the ex is picking up the kids and is leaving directly to someplace and needs them to look nice.
Other than that.
Nada...

Despite how you feel about the situation, there is nothing you can do about the actions of the other parent. You can only provide a solution to the problem at hand by what *you and your fiances* actions are going to be. Which the only solution to this is to buy a few clothing items to keep in your home for your SD. This solution is not uncommon and creates alot of stuff from going back and forth, getting lost, and silly little arguements. Not to mention, doing this might make your SD feel more at home with you guys instead of feeling like a 'visitor'.

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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

Sounds like the BM is very immature! I send my BD to her BF with everything she needs.. he pays support and I use the support to buy the things she needs.. Hence the term support. My SD's Bm on the other hand does the same thing as your SK's Bm. She sends our SD in the most ridiculous costume you can imagine and bright green rain boots.. and that's it. My DH does pay support and it's just my SD's BM's attempt at "hurting" my DH, but in all reality all she's doing is hurting her own child's self-esteem, dressed like that. Time to grow up! Needless to say we do buy her new clothes and send her home in them. (We trash the ridiculous costumes her BM sends)

I disagree. Child support should be covering the child's clothing and should be paid for by the mother. If you had the kid 50% of the time, I could understand having clothes and things at your home, but NCPs that have the children EOW or even 1 night a week should not be responsible for the kid's clothing.

My husbands x tried this. We told her if she did not provide them with proper and adequate clothing we would be returning them to her. She sent them over in the dead of winter without the proper attire. We brought them to her job and dropped them off. She never did that again.

Maybe it's different in different states (I live in AZ) but my understanding is that the CS amount paid is based on, among other things, the percentage of time the child is with each parent. As a BM, I am paid for only the time my son is in my care (relevant to salaries and expenses). I am NOT paid for time my son is in his fathers care. Therefore, I will not pay for the clothes he needs while in his father's care.

As for SS, he is in our care all except every other weekend. No support is paid either way so I'll be darned if I'm going to send him with extra clothes.

In either case, this is not considered a 'sleepover'. Regardless of how much time the child spends at their OP's home, it is their other HOME and their OP should provide for them as such while they are in that home.

The only exception to this would be if the original CS order was based on one parent have 100% custody and the OP began getting overnight visits. Then I would send extra clothes since my CS should be paying for 100% of that child's care.

When ss comes for the visit with no extra clothes. Once he showers that night, his arrival clothes are washed and when it's time for him to go home, we have him put his clothes he arrived in back on. We have sent him home in nice clothes only to have him returned the following weekend or 2 in ratty, worn out clothing.

to mbonilla and I was agreeing with luckykell as to we do the same thing...oops!