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His parents take the cake

Mary Louise's picture

Submitted by Mary Louise on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 2:06pm

For the last several months the future in-laws have been getting buddy-buddy with the ex despite fiance's objections. Now they have arranged to have time with the kids through the ex. It wouldn't be such a big deal but they have been telling her that he won't let them have the kids even though they haven't asked to see them.

Then, last week they emailed asking when they could see the kids. We weren't sure what our plans for the weekend were going to be, so we waited a few days before responding. On Saturday we let them know they could see the kids for about 7 hours on Sunday. After they brought the kids back home they sent him an email to "keep him in the loop" that they had arranged to see the kids w/ his ex all day one day this week when the kids have a day off school.

I am so disgusted that
a) they lie to her about being able to see the kids
b) didn't offer him time to see the kids when the kids are out of school that day (we always offer to keep the kids on days they are not in school so they don't have to sit at daycare all day and she refuses us every single time, but she lets his parents take the kids... wtf?)
c) wait until AFTER they take almost a whole day from him to let him know. (the way some swapping worked out, we haven't seen the kids in 3 weekends)

It's all very infuriating. They have been told over and over that when they get in the middle it is harder for him to work things out with her and they keep right on doing it. they are too stupid to remember how manipulative she was during the 12 years he was married to her. I guess they have forgotten how many times they told him what a bi*ch she was all those years. Now they defend her affair and say she has changed. They don't understand that she would go and try to get full custody based on their involvment with her - she has already tried once and they refuse to believe he is telling the truth.

I am so frustrated by their ignorance and lack of respect.

Comments

Chocoholic's picture

Submitted by Chocoholic on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 2:48pm

I couldn't even imagine going through this.... How painful that must be....

I know how I feel when 'our' "friends" used to hang out with the ex or meet her for coffee or whatever... You can choose your "friends" but you can't choose your family....
It really sucks that they have been asked so many times to stay out of it yet they disrespect you and your DH outright by continuing to get involved with the ex.

I don't really have any advice on this one.... Just understanding.

"Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people ever have is when they take a bite out of you."

A L Cannuck's picture

Submitted by A L Cannuck (not verified) on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 3:03pm

and I know this from experience. Any attempt to point out the obvious to your future inlaws will only give them something more to talk about while they are with the x! We went through this, and the same things happened...even worse we have basically lost visitation with ss16 cause an interfering SIL stepped in behind DH"S back to get SS instead. So it started with..no you don't get ss for the two week holiday, you have to meet your sister instead so he can go to your mothers for week two?!!and now, we end up seeing ss16 a coule times a year (compared to the previous twelve years where dh had ss every other weekend, every christmas day, every march break, and half of summer holiday!) All I can tell you is that it has resulted in us no longer speaking to SIL, FIL, or MIL for the past year. Our theory is that if they cannot respect DH"s role as the father, and respect our wishes to butt out....screw off and eat xmas dinner with the x then!!!! Hope things get better for ya, but honestly Dh figures it gives these idiots some sense of power, they can't control us, and god forbid we want to do something without their involvement,(or OPINION on our lives) so they go behind our backs to the x who is obviously going to jump at the opportunity to do something without our say. Our solution...move away! Three hours from the bull shit, life is peaceful, no run ins, no crap. The ss's come when they come, and life goes on.