Only you can know when you've had enough. If you know you're at that point, the only thing left to do is walk out the door. Having been there (not as a step, but in my first marriage) I can say to just be sure you've made every effort you can make before you go. That way, there will be nothing to regret. You'll know you gave it everything you had. One person can't carry a relationship, & you can't make someone else care enough to lend their share. They have to want to.

I'm sorry for the sadness you're feeling, but it can't be any sadder than the thought of spending forever with someone feeling the way you have been. Whatever your choice, I wish you happiness.

((((Hugs)))) & prayers to you.

Sometimes love is not enough.

I can't tell you now if I am going to regret it, but I am leaving regardless.

I have tried as hard as I can. I cannot do it all by myself anymore.

It's tough. I don't have any answers for you. I dealt with this BIG TIME with SD18 because DH may perhaps be the MOST permissive parent ever. I mean, honestly, the man doesn't have an assertive bone in his body when it comes to his oldest offspring. He's slightly better with our two, but not much. The difference is, I am "allowed" to be the disciplinarian when it comes to our BDs but I never was with SD. It was doomed before it began.

But, this weekend, my sister and her two kids were at my parents' house. My sister is not a particularly permissive parent but she seemed to be making an exception this weekend. We had spaghetti with meatballs, salad, and italian bread for dinner. I made my kids have (and eat) some of everything. My sister let her son have JUST pasta with a minimal amount (like a spoon full) of tomato sauce. Then she let him come back for seconds (my BDs are trying to eat their salad and bread) and have just pasta, no sauce (which is what my BDs wanted all along but I said no). Then she let him come back for a third helping of just pasta. Which he then didn't eat. Then she gave him a heaping bowl of ice cream with toppings for dessert, and each of my BDs just got one scoop.

The question is, can you pick your battles when it comes to the stepkid(s)? If so, then I think you stand a chance. If not, I think you need to spend some time analyzing how you want your future to be.

It's goint to be pretty tough for awhile. You may feel so sad and desperate and like you'll never find another man as great as he was and OMG, the world is falling apart! It will feel that way. You'll wonder if you'll ever find love again and if you have made a terrible mistake. You're going to feel scared and small and weak. DON'T give in to it! He may call and beg and he may use some real emotional blackmail to get you back. Be strong. This is pretty standard, I think. If you do get back together, give it a good long time.

I was in the SM role from hell. Guilty daddy extrordinair, Adult spousal status (in nearly every way, eeewww) for the oldest daughter. Spoiled little brat of a youngest one. It was awful!!! I thought I was going crazy! I tried so hard and I believed all the crap that it was me, my fault, something I was doing wrong.

NOT! I left him right before Christmas. I couldn't STAND the thought of Chritmas break! I couldn't take his kids anymore. And I really loved this man!

In February I met a nice man and when he told me he had three kids, I was ok with son 21 (who I never met) and son 18, who I adore, but daughter 10 was the deal breaker! I went out with him for a couple of months, but ended it. I had been watching for the checklist of Guilty Daddy syndrome. As soon as that started making its way out, I recognized it and got out. We can be friends, but you have no idea how good I feel going home to the peace and quiet of my home and my well bahaved, mannerly older teen sons. The relief after the initial panick is AMAZING!

I'm sorry you're to this point. It hurts. I know. It's a tough, scary decision and you face the future alone.

You're not as alone as you feel and that will pass. Keep your eyes open for the future, whether you get back together or move on with someone else later.

Good Luck. My prayers are with you to be strong and true to yourself!

At work was the hardest for me, too. Then again, everything sucked for a while. I was really too depressed to even start helping myself. Hang in there, though. Just remember that you have to grieve and once that's done, there will be a whole new outlook on life. I felt like I was living in shades of grey and now the colors are back! I'm so happy and in charge of my life and I'm doing things! The next guy in my life better appreciate me, becasue I am pretty darn awsome! Go ahead! Say it! Get mad! This site saved my sanity and I'm not against being SM, but I sure won't do it for a guilty daddy! I know what to look for now and I hope you know that we're all here for you.

I know it's hard and it hurts sooooooo bad, but if he's going to act like that, then you are doing the right thing. Try not to feel personnaly rejected. These guys are so good at their act that makes us feel guilty, stupid, wrong, whatever. We're not. If we were all that, then why did we ever even try with their kids? Don't let that part get to you. He may be hiding his feelings or he may be just being a jerk. Get with your girlfriends and talk about it till it feels better and vent all you want here, but get it out. It feels better then. ((((((hugs)))))))

Not sure if anyone else has said this, but maybe leaving will also give him room to think about what he really wants. You will have the room to think about what you want in your life and our future.

I was one of the ones that left my exSO. I first moved out to distance myself from his kids and hopes that he pulled his head from his ass and started parenting them. I got tired of the rudeness, disrespect, lying, stealing, and etc. I was the glorified nanny and SO let them do it to me.

First I moved out. I cried for like three days non stop. It was the hardest thing because exSO was really good to me (and my kids.) He just allowed his kids to take advantage of me and he did too. I was still seeing exSO but I wouldn't do anything with his kids. But then I started to do things and focused on stuff and less on him. Finally, I just realized I will NEVER accept his kids. It's one thing for me if they were younger and had a hard time but they aren't. They are just vial.

I'm glad I didn't marry him because I don't know if I couldn't have gotten out this easy. It's very hard at first...that I will admit. But trust me, you will move on and things will get better. Focus on things like yourself!!!!