My week to vent
I am really on a roll this week as far as blogging and none of it seems to be positive. Ah well, I guess it is better to get it off my chest here instead of yelling at home.
Two weeks ago, I had the temerity to make a hair appointment. I know...how could I be so selfish? (insert sarcasm here) I wrote it on the calendar and I have been showing the new haircut I want for the last 14 days, so it really shouldn't be an issue, right? . Last night, DH says that he is going to have to figure out what to do because SD has to be at work at 4 and my appointment is at 3:45. Now, I can't see a problem because she has a car and her son could be at daycare. DH says he could take her car to run errands, and let me drive ours to work. Then he could be home in time for her to go to work and I could still make it to my appointment. Then we could go pick up the baby from daycare. I go to bed thinking "problem solved."
Boy am I naïve! I get up this morning and DH says he is taking me to work so that he can be home in time to watch her son. I just blinked. Apparently her son isn't going to daycare today. She put him there yesterday, even though she didn't go to work until five, but she can't put him there today to give her dad a break on driving and on gas costs. I don't know why he was there yesterday - the only thing she did was empty the dishwasher and get ready for work. Trust me, I was the one who cleaned up the dishes she left in the sink so I know what was done and not done. I didn't even ask DH if he said anything to her about it. It wouldn't matter anyway.
Honestly, I am at my wits' end about this whole situation. I have never dealt with such a self-centered, inconsiderate person in my entire life. Her dad is on disability and she can't give him even a little bit of a respite? I wish I knew what to do or say, but I can't do a damn thing. If I open my mouth, the fight will just make things worse instead of better and the extra stress will make his pain levels go up along with his blood pressure. The one good thing is that I am heading out to see my mom on Sunday, so I will get a few hours away from her. God knows I won't get anything from her for Mother's Day!
Thanks for reading my rant!
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Comments
She is self centered but
its your husband who is letting this all come between you and him. She is the one but he is your husband and needs to be both. Not just dad and babysitter to grandson. He is the one who is not setting any boundaries and is expecting you to just be ok with everything. Well its never going to be good because he is only thinking of himself and what he wants to do. Is there a way you can get a ride from someone at work to go get your hair done? I would simply call him and say I don't need you to pick me up, I am getting a ride with a friend to the hair place! I am sorry you are feeling this way. Make this day wonderful for you ok.. honey...
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
I agree with Happy. While
I agree with Happy. While it's true that SD is truly all about herself, it's her father that is encouraging and enabling this behavior. Why would she ever try and do anything for herself, be more responsible, be independent, etc., when he is always there to pick up the pieces and make it easy for SD to remain so dependent on other people? I imagine that it's really tough for a parent to pull a tough love trip on a child who's also a single parent and having a hard time, but there has got to be a balance somewhere. Who pays for SD's car? Does she? And is it at all possible for you to get your own car, even if it's just a beater that can get you from place to place? It seems like life might be easier for you if you were able to get away more and do things for yourself. It's like you're a prisoner in that house, subject to DH's plans for/with SD. If you can have access to a vehicle that is ONLY yours, maybe you can get out and have more time to yourself and feel a bit more in control of things.
I'd definitely talk to DH. What happened with your hair appt. was just WRONG. He has to know that.
Hang in,
K
Oh, I am still getting my hair done
the problem is that now he has to drive to our house to get the grandson, drive another 10 minutes to get me for the haircut and then he and the baby will hang out while I get my hair done instead of just being able to come and pick me up. I am upset at the extra gas this will cost us when all she had to do was put her son in daycare today.
I wish I could get a car for me, but it just isn't an option right now. Money is very tight. Things were supposed to improve once she got her car - we would use less gas, she would be able to do more on her own - but obviously that isn't how it is going.
DH and I have talked and talked about her, but I think he has just given up. He knows that I am unhappy and he keeps apologizing for bringing her here, but what am I supposed to say? Throw her sorry ass out of the house? How could I do that to her son? I worry more about DH than I do anything else. That is why I vent here. If he knew how truly miserable I am, I honestly don't know what would happen. As it is, he is in so much physical pain from the stress, he can barely function. With the fibromyalgia, the diabetes and the high blood pressure, all of this stress is killing him. I can't keep adding to it, so I come here to let it all out. I really do appreciate all of the suggestions and support I get here - I don't want you all to think that I just keep blowing off what you say!