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"It's my birthday and I can do what I want..."

Marie09's picture

SS just turned 9 this wkd. For his b-day, he had a sleepover, then we took him with my bro's kids to play mini golf and dinner. BM again did not have a birthday party for him or SS5. SS9 was such a brat, I wanted to say its b/c it was his birthday and we heard multiple times that it was his b-day and he could do what he wanted. Because of MY family, SS9 made over $120 just off of them.

DH and I let him do a lot of what he wanted, but DH and I were fed up of him thinking he can do and get his way. DH's sister's son's b-day was the following day and they live in another town 3 hrs away. We drove them and SS9 acted like a 2 yr old. Talking in a baby voice and whining when he didnt get his way.

I've noticed, he is regressing. He cries a lot now when he doesnt get his way. DH is constantly talking to him trying to ask him if something is wrong and he says nothing. He's like his dad, he holds everything in. (Well, DH was like that before meeting me.) He thinks everything is for him and he's so damn nosy. He is constantly peeking at our phones and watching things he shouldn't be.

I was SO fed up with him and so ready for this morning when he goes back to his mom's. He's never really acted like that before so I want to say its b/c it was his b-day wkd, but I wont be able to tolerate another wkd like that, thats for sure!!

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Anon2009's picture

When SDs birthdays have been celebrated in the past, DH always tells them, "it's your birthday weekend, so it's your weekend and you can live it up and celebrate however you want, but within reason," "within reason" meaning "do not act like a spoiled brat." SD13 used to do that a little but DH has continued to toe the line with her and she is doing much better.

Granted, she's a lot older than your SS, but perhaps your DH needs to have the same chat with him, and tell him that just because it's his birthday does not mean he can act or treat people rudely. He can have whatever type of party, desserts, food, and presents that he wants, but cannot act like a brat, or he will temporarily lose his favorite birthday present.

Marie09's picture

I'm really not sure. When he's not with us, he's telling us all the time, he wants to come to our house and be with us. At his mom's, her b/f is literally a crackhead and a loser and from what they tell us, he yells at them a lot. But they could say the same of me. Children's perception is different from adults. SS5 prefers his mom's apartment and SS9 prefers our house. So I'd think he'd act differently there. But I dont know what his deal is. I've had a lot of patience with him. I've rearranged my schedule to take him to Boy Scouts since SS5 is in tee ball and DH is there with him. I'd do anything for these kids but when they act like this, I dont want to do anything!

I feel for them. I come from divorced parents myself except I was 14 and really saw and heard the wars. I've never pushed myself on them b/c I had a SM and SF that were pushed on me and I depised them for it. So I made a point to not do that to them. I really dont know. I've asked for therapy for him but that's DH & BM's decision. And as much as I love DH, he procastnates with a lot of things and this being included.