What are signs of cheating?
Maybe it's my own insecurities...maybe it's the way he's been acting or not acting...or maybe it's a woman intuition...however I somewhat feel like FH is cheating. I brought it up a couple weeks ago and he go really defensive and turned it around on me...like I was the guilty one or the one that had a problem... I've been checking his cellphone at night for calls and text messages and most of the sent texts are erased. I know for a fact that he sends texts all the time and tonight I only found one that he sent me a couple days ago. What the worst thing is...is that I feel like it's a neighbor that he's cheating with...I know for a fact that she's cheated on her husband in the past and what hurts is that she acts like my friend and I've watched her kids for her. I know this is all speculation but I can't get over the "women's intuition" feeling. FH and I have had a rough patch lately and my mind is just trying to think of every aspect. Every time the neighbor is around FH they seem to always be talking to each other although I'm sitting right there next to him...she'll look my way every so often probably only because I stare at her and give the big eyes. I'm so sick of wondering...I can't look at his cellphone bill because it's a work phone....so does anyone know of another way to check up on him??? It's driving me crazy...I really hope I'm wrong but if I'm not I'm sure between me and my hard core Italian family he will be in a wheel chair to say the least!
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There are signs...
I am so sorry to hear the situation you are in, it must be terrible however in my profession i see people like yourself all the time and the first thing i say is look for the signs.
What is your sex life like (Sorry to be nosey, you don't have to tell me its just for your own benefit)... has it changed? less frequently, more, or does he want you to do things you have not done together before?
Does he go out nights now that he never used to do?
Does he make sure he is showered and dressed nicely before he does go out?
If he does go out of an evening check the mileage on his car before he goes out (don't let him see you obviously) then on his return check it again, does the mileage tally up to where he has told you he is going?
Does he come home late from work? - Again you can check the mileage before he goes to work, to see if he is travelling more miles that it actually is to his work and back.
Is he distant with you?
Does he make sure his phone is by his side all the time?
These are just a few things that men generally will do when they are up to no good!
If he does do these things then there are some other things you can parhaps do to try and prove it, please send me a message if you need anymore advice.
Good luck.
answers to your questions and concerns...thank you for advice!
Sex life has been a little less...I would say more on my part though because the way I've been feeling lately. No about the showers and cologne or going out with his buddies....I practically have to force him into the shower...or go out alone... I know this sounds more on his side however he has a job that has VERY flexible hours and lately I don't hear from him until he's on his way home whereas I would hear from him throughout the day...being a phone call or text. Now he only calls when he's on his way home. I'm hoping that I'm just being paranoid but sometimes we as women get "those feelings"...
Sorry...forgot to add...
Checking the mileage is a great idea because he always tells me where he's been during the day and it's a work truck so I know he's only supposed to be using it for work. Tomorrow I will be recording the starting mileage and checking the end mileage for sure!!! Good idea...thank you!
I am full of tricks.
I am a private investigator and this is unfortunatly quite a frequent part of my business, however there are many times when the wives can be proved wrong.
I once followed someone as his wife had her suspicions and it turned out he was having dancing lessons as a suprise ready for there cruise in a few months. She felt terrible!
Do check the mileage especially if he tells you where he goes, you can add it up roughly and if out by quite a distance there are then more options that can be taken to find out where he is going!
Let me know how you get on & good luck!
A trick
A trick I learned (after DH told me he had met ex-gf for lunch twice) is I got a cell phone with very basic service as I only needed it for one thing. I then got "chaperone" on the phone and set it up. it's esentially a tracking device. I put it in his car under the seat and tracked where he was going for a while. I never found anything regarding ex-gf tho. Just meeting his kids for lunch or whatnot. But it might help you. However, if its the neighbor, he's not likely driving there. Do you have a videocamera? Set it up for a day in your house or thru a window facing her house and see if they are meeting. I wouldn't do/say anything tho until I had concrete evidence that something was for sure going on. That's a great way to screw up a marriage.
YOUMAIL.
Go to youmail.com, enter his cell phone # and your email address and it will email you everytime he gets a call or text and you can even listen to a voicemail he gets. You can turn it off and on through the website too. Its free. Best way to see any activitity through his phone. Only prob is you have to wait to sign up his phone until he is not around and you can get to it, because it will send an activation code thru a text to turn it on, you'll have to put that code in online.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
this can get ugly
I've been cheated on and certainly not with pride, but I admit to cheating, too.
Much of what has been already written here, especially about cell phones, texts, etc. is very true. I used to go into the bathroom with my cell phone to text and I would keep it close to me all the time. It was always on vibrate. My messages were always, always deleted. Being a cheater is by far the most exhausting and petty thing to do, yet people do it. I was young and very very naive but I still learned my lesson the hard way.
When I was cheated on, I had a feeling it was going on, too, and when it was confirmed (the guy actually cheated on purpose to get my attention so that I would see what I could potentially lose) I regretted SO MUCH not listening to my gut. Small little things come up and we pretend that because they are small, they're probably just in our head. But when there are 3 or more "small things" that make us wonder, shit has hit the fan and you are simply in denial.
IF you are wrong and your partner feels accused and mistrusted and defensive...(given you are REALLY TRULY WRONG because they'll put on those feelings even if they are cheating to get out of it)..you can, as calmly as possible, put down our pride and explain to your partner that your insecurity of losing them has made you feel suspicious. You value the trust and commitment of the relationship and you had panicked, thinking it would be gone. Be upfront about your insecurity. It's hard to be humble but it shows real love.
I'd like to add that, although it's a very nifty and clever idea, using youmail.com could be one of the worst things you can do..to yourself. I found out my love was cheating because he left it for me to read on Facebook, but I also looked at his phone, and more cheating was confirmed. HOWEVER, it has left scars that are VERY VERY DEEP and I have phone issues now. He and I are still together but I'm paranoid every time the phone goes off. He doesn't trust me because I snooped, I don't trust him because he cheated, and worst of all.. I don't trust myself. We decided to give it another go but I don't fully trust myself of not snooping on him. What kind of offer am I putting into this second attempt if I can't control myself. It can become a habit, an ugly, evil habit that works your self esteem day and night and it will only get worse.
If you can, confront him directly and with minimal screaming and yelling. Say this is what you've observed, this is how it makes you feel, and in order to maintain the relationship, something must change. From what I've learned, the longer your confrontation, the less chance you'll get an answer from a man. Keep it under 3 minutes. Say what you want to say and stick to it. If you drag it out with erratic (but completely understandable) emotion it shows your weakness. DO it like a man.
My opinion may be shit and none of it may work for you but my god, I'm sending you so much love and positive vibes right now. Stay strong.
If you wish to give off light, you must endure the burning.
I had
a friend (that he didn't know) follow my ex BF once and she reported back. Then I told him I saw him and could recite certain things that were happening and he never questioned that I wasn't there watching. He couldn't deny any of it.
Does your neighbor work, and have you checked to see if your neighbor is home when you think maybe he's out with her?
YOUMAIL
Does the youmail show you the body of the text? or just that someone texted?
"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton
My exH cheated on me while I
My exH cheated on me while I was pregnant with our second child. I had a gut feeling but kept blaming it on hormones. turned out gut was right.
There were so many signs that I ignored.
He was always talking about her each day he would bring her up atleast once.
He was working later and getting drinks "with friends" after
Hell he even invited her to my baby shower..
So, yes sometimes our minds get carried away but sometimes our gut is right.
I have definate trust issues but I have come to realize that he a man or woman is going to cheat there is nothing you can do about it.
If they are cheating it has to be YOUR choice of how you want to handle it..
i am emma i had a friend hack
i am emma i had a friend hack into my husband facebook account,when i find out he was cheating on me,i think is high time we take this cheaters out.if you need help you can contact him via [email protected] does all sort of computer hacks,like whats app,text,calls,and lot more.
emma refereed you in.