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Used to be Serene Hopes; Posting update.

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Sun, 03/08/2015 - 3:14pm

Background: Crazy b**** BM made allegations to CPS that my 2 boys (at the time, ages 9 and 7) were sexually abusing SD(then 4).

That was a whole year ago.

Where we are today: Everyone knows that BM is crazy and a compulsive liar (BPD trait). Court (well, mediation with Gal, a.k.a in our country, lawyer for child) was AWESOME! I wish I was there to see it all, but all of BM's lies were addressed, GAL even pulled up evidence of his own to prove her wrong. He yelled at BM at one point when she tried to continue with her lies. SO was awarded 50/50 to which GAL told BM that she was lucky he didn't go for full custody, but if she brings them back to court for any other reason, he will order a psych eval on her.

I even got an apology from a counselor (from a Sexual Abuse Clinic for child and youth victims) who was working with all of us. She acknowledged that she got too over involved with BM (BPD tactic) and she sees now how that clouded her judgments and she apologizes for all and any suggestions regarding my sons being involved. SD was discharged from her counselling early.

(This part is my observation and intuition), currently, BM seems to be constructing SD's circumstances to look as though SD is distressed and that 50/50 is having a severely negative impact on SD (BM is claiming that SD throws uncontrollable rages). Pediatrician and GAL are brushing BM's claims off, actually, pediatrician told BM she needs to parent better (lol). SO and I are on high alert making sure we don't give BM any ammo, just to be safe.

Relationship wise, SO and I are better then ever. I still feel hard done by having to deal with psycho BM and go to extreme lengths to protect our family, still feels iffy being on high alert all the time, I just want to relax and enjoy life... but BM issues are peripheral now, rather then front and center. Things are much different these days, SO is no longer tangled with BM and her issues, we are both present in caring ways in our relationship and building our blended family... it's safe to say, we are happy, I am happy, and it feels.... good Smile

I have missed this place!

Comments

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Sun, 03/08/2015 - 4:23pm

Yes, they could have. I could have, SO could have, anyone on this site dealing with a batsh!t crazy BM could be implicated in something hideous like this, or their kids could be as well. When you're dealing with an unpredictable and volatile person, many things are a very real and likely risk... I guess packing up and leaving before anyone can get hurt, is an option for all.. But i thank God every day that things worked out the way they have, I thank God for the resources and people that came to us during all this, I thank God for what we have learnt and that in our instance... good prevailed. And that's all I can do and say about how close my sons came to having their lives ruined. (I do feel guilty about having exposed them to this danger in the first place, but don't allow any blame to settle on my shoulders xx)

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Sun, 03/08/2015 - 7:59pm

Wow. You have been through hell. I'm surprised you survived this year. Very glad for you that you did and I stand up and applaud that somehow your partnership with your dh not only survived as well but seems to worked the way it should, with both of you fighting together.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Sun, 03/08/2015 - 8:26pm

I remember your story. What a ride you have been on. So happy it worked out in the end.

Here's to wishing you a fantastic year ahead. Smile

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Mon, 03/09/2015 - 12:32pm

Thanks for the comments everyone xx

I'm not sure why I don't hate BM, I know I should... I guess maybe I'm so preoccupied with protecting my family and being thankful and happy I have them, that I just feel more sadness for BM and SD. And I view BM more as a chess piece, I find it interesting to work out her strategies, I'm curious about her actions and thought processors, plus I'm competitive, I love beating her at her own game.

Plus, hating her, just fills me with yucky hatred feeling that will affect me alone, it wont do a thing to her, in fact, i think she would enjoy it, I think she wants me to lose it.