Hello everybody!

I haven´t been here in a long time. Life has been confusing and sressful for a long time and step life is not an exception. I just feel like I need to vent a little but and tell you about how my life is about to change for better I hope. So... I make the decision yo move out back yo my country. The decision has nothing to do with being a step mum at all. Me and my partner have been pretty miserable for a while, I seem to be unable to find a decent job here and we've been struggling to pay for basic stuff, so puched by partner we decided is time to leave. The plan is that I leave first and he will come after a few months if everything works out...

Obviosly my partner has his kids here so his plan is coming here to see them and work and the rest of the time with me in my country. If I am honest and as I told him this, I see a lots of holes in that plan but at this point there is nothing I can do about it. Thinking about myself being here makes me feel so lonely and lost that I can't wait to be there near my family and find a life that is my life. 

The situation I am leaving is a mum that from my point of view is very negligent and fucked up and that makes me feel very vulnerable like my life depends on her on day deciding she doesn't want to be a mum anymore and me being a step mum full time or breaking up in a country where I am alone and probably leaving in the end anyway. 

As I meantioned already, the mum decided to take the 13SD out of school for some argument she has with her friends and after 10montsh she is still not in school. My partner tried to set school work online but she refused to put her to work saying she wil get overhwhelmed. OMG. The kid also says the mum is unable to help her doing work. Social workers are involve but still kid not in school and no one going to the house to fo home school which is insane. Apart from that which is bad enough, relationship with the kids is fine on my part and I was getting used to them, but the 8SD keeps chatting me back whenever I say anything she doesn't like or agree with or try to set some rules, EVERYTIME she has to chat me back. My partner tells her off but she keeps doing it. I can't imagine when she is a teenager...

My partner works all the time, he is selfempoyed and is struggling with money so works a lot. The ex got to the point where she is complaining PUBLICLY about the little money he pays her, he didn;t tell her anything and pretend he didn't knew.. The other day the kids called saying mum was in the club ans left them alone for 4 hours. My partner sent her a message saying he will call social services but she ingored him and nothing happend after all.

At this point I can see how my partner avoids any kind of confrontation with her. he says is because he doesn't want to lose his shit but I feel like she's got power over him as if she decided she doesn't want to be a mum he will have to be a full time dad and almost for sure leave his business behind. She doesn't want to work and lives out of benefist scaming she sistem, for sure if she decides she doesn't want them full time she will have to go back to work but at the same time all I see is a woman that is not interested in being a mum and is playing with fire.

For the first time I asked my partner to have his kids over less days this easter holiday as it is going to be the week before we have to leave the house and I am freaking stressed. Moving house is stressful but moving to another country is another level of stress. He got annoyed at me of couse at started with the "I am the best dad in ther world" attitude. How can you ask me to not see my kids? blabla I didn't ask for that I just said I am very very stressed and having them for many days is too much, can you have them less days? the first time I ask something like that in years. In the end we agreed 5 days. Today again, I asked him to please tell the ex the days he is having the kids as we know her and we can't count on her being in the house without notice. He got angly at me because I was "streesing him out" and supposily disrespecting him by being stressed. It seems like he would prefer to get angry at me than at her, and in the end I have to pay for their unability to talk. 

At this point I feel realieve that my life won't depend anymore on that woman. I feel relieve that I am going to decide what I do with my time. I know the relationship might fall apart as I don't see his part working as easy as he plans but I have to do this and I beleive is going to be the best for me. 

Thank you for reading me