Life of a wicked stepmother
I feel awful for the things I'm about to say and have never said them out loud to anyone! I despise my 7 yo SD!!!!!!!!!!! I have been in her life since she was 1 and it has only gotten worse I feel! When she comes over I try to find ways to stay at work late or I stay in my bedroom most of the time. Everything she does annoys me, she is so much different than my kids (we have 2 children together). Pretty sure she has ADHD, she is snobby and literally eats everything in our house. I feel like she's this unwanted rude guest that overstays their welcome. Not to mention, I see $$$$ signs when I look at her. My hubby pays so much in child support to her mother who makes more money than he does!!!!! This child goes on these extravagant vacations out of the country with her maternal family multiple times throughout the year and goes to a private school. Some of you may say I'm bitter which I can understand cause I AM!!! We can barely afford to take one vacay a year, never been on a plane or out of the country. My kids will never be able to go to a private school. Yet this child has the nerve to come to my home and brag to my children about all the experiences she has and her mother take money from our household. This little girl is nothing but a BURDEN!!! Her mother always threatens to move out of state and god I wish she would!!!! Other people looking in say I'm a great step mom and I feel like a piece of crap cause I know that is not the case! I fake it til I make it. My hubby is a great man and I feel like he always has my back when It comes to SD. I know he sees my mood change when she's over but he is always extra sweet to me when she's here.I wish I could just see her as a part of him but I just see this outsider. I don't want her eating my food, touching my things, getting in my bed is a BIG one!!!! I hope god forgives me for the way I feel, but I don't see it ever getting better. Please someone tell me it gets better once they are grown.
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Comments
You say your hubby is a great
You say your hubby is a great man, and he can't help what the court orders him to pay in child support. But....he can help her behavior. Part of being a great dad is, well, parenting. Teaching her not to behave rudely, and, for the love of God, keeping her out of your bed! The bed is a big one for me. There has to be a place where you can have some downtime and change clothes (or not wear any!) without her. The kids often take over the living room, kitchen, their own rooms, etc. Make the bedroom your safe, adults only space! That will likely go a long way in improving your attitude toward her.
You aren't wicked
You are just a normal woman going through this extraordinary stepparenting experience. Its especially difficult with a SD and yours sounds like a case. Keep staying on Steptalk. Im 75 and Steptalk is helping me finally understand this difficult dynamic. You are normal and you will be ok. Good luck
If any skid laid in our bed, hubby knows his di*k may
accidentally fall off and no sex...
i’m lucky hubby 100% believes there is no reason for a bloody skid to be in our bedroom. Our 2 kids are 3 &4 which is different because they love cuddles and hubby misses them. But grown arse kids not related to me is a big friggin hell no....
Welcome to the site!
Like yours, my DH paid an obscene amount of CS which would never have been court ordered (we are in the UK and these things are usually decided through lawyers). As a result, like you we never once went abroad for a holiday, while NPD BM and the SDs went at least twice per year, sometimes more. He also paid for private school, so that we could only afford a relatively small house. I know for a fact that NPD BM and the SKIDs used to laugh at our relative poverty, always swanning off on some expensive jaunt, as they were. Well, the tables are now turned, as, 15 yrs later, we have bought a big house in the country and NPD BM has money troubles. I can't help feeling a degree of schadenfreude.
I'm glad your DH has your
I'm glad your DH has your back, but he needs to be the parent, not you. Does he set limits on her behavior? Or does he expect you to be the disciplinarian?
Is the money he gives her court ordered, or does he give her extra? All you can do in these situations is figure out what you can control, so any extra he gives her needs to stop. And he needs to take over parenting so you don't have to.
Welcome! You are not alone as
Welcome! You are not alone as you can see! Feel free to vent away here safely and know that what you are feeling is normal.
Society expects us to just LOOOVVVEEE instantly a child that we didn't create and does nothing but cause tension. THAT isn't natural!
I am so glad you hear you have a supportive husband- it will make a big difference in your life together and is the biggest factor I have seen in 2nd marriages making it or not.
Ugh, you sound just like me
Ugh, you sound just like me when I joined this site. I also have a spoiled entitled SD that I feel the same way towards. Good luck!
Bedroom needs to be off limits, even for bio's eventually
I don't like the SS's in my bedroom period, especially on my bed. I was raised with both parents and their room was always off limits. I'm sorry if your needy mother has cuddled and coddled you well beyond your early years so that you are emotionally incested without boundaries, but get out of MY room. We have an en suite bathroom and I breast fed my babies. It's very violating to not have even your bedroom privacy.
Especially since when they were younger and we went swimming, youngest SS was about 4yrs old and told his mom I was naked (I was in a bathing suit and changed in the woman's changeroom, in a stall. They were in the men's change rooms to boot). But the parental alienating began as soon as she found out we were dating, calling me a whore and everything else under the sun, even though she was the one who cheated and left. So God forbid any of them ever catch a glimpse of me coming out of my own shower or getting out of bed.