You are here

Hygiene anyone???

LVmyBOXERS's picture

Ok, I am just tossing this out there. But does anyone else have a disgusting little problem? My skids totally gross me out. They have been here since Wednesday night and SD15 has YET to take a shower. OMG, I know right?!?!?!?! With her being SO concerned about the way she looks, one would assume that hygiene would be number 1 priority. SS11 only takes a bath when we make him as well. During this past summer, SD went, I know, 1 week without brushing her teeth. OK, first off, are you freakin' kidding me and second what the h*ll kind of example do they have at home??? I remember being that age and I would have DIED before I would have left the house without a shower much less have gone to a party, yes party, with 3 day old funk on my body. I am just at a loss. DH does not say anything at all about it and I guess I am just so anal retentive but it is almost more than I can take. I just can not fathom the idea of doing that. We have no idea what goes on at thier mom's house. They are not allowed or choose not to talk about it here at all. I know BM gave SS a cell so he can call her and he does, ALL THE TIME. Which is sad because neither of the kids call DH when they are at their mom's. Anyway, I digress. I was just wondering if anyone else has this issue and what you did about it. I do not think I should have to do anything, it is DH place. However, when I say anything to him about the kids, he is so defensive. Any advise would be appreciated, because serioulsy, I am grossed out beyond belief here...

Comments

Conflicted's picture

My skids ALWAYS come back from BB dirty as hell! My 3 year old SS will have dried, crusted snot all over his face, my 7 year old SD has nasty smelling hair and neither EVER brush their teeth!!

At their age, I blame BB. She has no personal hygiene so how on earth would she teach her children good hygiene skills??

The routine in our home is that as soon as the skids get home they get in the bath!

sparky's picture

I would just tell each of the kds they need to bath because the smell is making you nausea. If BD doesn't like it-too bad. Its one thing to take the day off, but to continously day after day is too much. Especially with that 15 year old and all of her menustration stuff the smell must be awful and I would tell her that.

laurels4u's picture

DH's son once spit in our sink and left it there for me, his personal maid, to wash down; it has NEVER happened again. He will go days without showering if his father is working the night shift and not here to remind him to bathe. When we get in the car in the morning, I put the window down so I don't have to smell him while my DD complains endlessly about the smell. You think by now he'd have caught on, which he probably has, but he's just doing it to be a PITA. His room smells awful, like an old man's. Yuck!

StressedinCanada's picture

My SD12 is the same way. Totally gross. I brought this up to her counselor. She looked at my SD and said YUCK. The counselor told me to let her learn the consquences of being dirty. Her friends will start to tell her she smells and that she has dragon breath. And they will start pulling back from her. She is a social butterfly so the counselor is positive it'll work. I at first didn't like this idea, but I am willing to give it a try. See how it works.

LVmyBOXERS's picture

I was raised believing hygiene was super important. I am still astounded that people like this actually exist. When SS lived with us several years ago, before he could do ANYTHING after retuning from BM's house, he got in the tub and soaked and scrubbed. Maybe she is just nasty but you would think the smell and the grossness of it all would just be overwhelming. I am glad to know I am not alone. But I am not going to do anything about it because I do not feel it is my place. I may be looking at it wrong, but they are not my kids (thank goodness.) Thanks again!

holeekrap789's picture

Until I became very sick and severly depressed I was anal about my own hygiene and appearance. I would not be seen in the house let alone in public unwashed, with meesy hair or having any kind of body odor.
I tried to instill this in my kids. Nightly routines, encouragnment, reasons why, and all other kinds of things.
Out of 7 kids 5 are meticulous and almost anal most of the time ....BUT....I have an 18yr old daughterwith yellow teeth that are rotting and horrible body odor, so bad in fact that I myself have threatened to make her stay off of carpeting and stuffed furniture so she doesn't ruin them. I also have a 16 yr old daughter that has such bad acne and body odor that I don't want to get too close to her.
Me Their biodads and Steve all tell them they HAVE to "clean up", shower, brush their teeth, etc....
Nothing works other than me getting downright mean!
These are not neglected or abused children.
I do however see a BIG MISTAKE I made in raising them and that was to follow the advice of prominant psychologists that said that you are not to interact negatively in any way shape or form with children because it will blow their self esteem. The hell with that. I have come to understand that they need to hear it from me before they become social outcasts or hear it in a worse way from someone else.
Unfortunately a step parent telling the kid will only seem like picking so it's better left to the bio parent.
BUT...a gift basket or overnight bag filled with favorite scented shampoos, soaps, deodorants, and other miscellaneous hygiene and appearance items will make the kid feel special and important and encourage good hygiene.
Make it a special shopping trip with the excuse that since you are going somewhere and want fresh new things to use, and have no clue how to pack that you would appreciate it if they went with you to help you fill your overnight bag and in return you will purchase one that they creat themself. That way it doesn't seem like picking and you can guide them to the necessities.
Good luck.....it's a delicate issue to deal with!
Lisa Dawn

holeekrap789's picture

In seeing many different counselors for my children and myself, and as well as seeing it in many loved ones, I have come to learn something very important. One of the first and foremost signs of severe depression that needs attention or help is lack of interest in personal hygiene.
Maybe you should talk to your husband about your concern over the signs of depression in his kids...that might get him involved.
I hope something in my rambling helps

Lisa Dawn

laughterandtears's picture

Same thing. Their Half brother, my BS, loves baths and to brush his teeth and he's only 20 months old!! I have had enough just this week of SS8 not brushing his teeth, so I feed him oatmeal. That's what he'd be eating without teeth, that's what's going to happen if he doesn't take care of them, so I'm just giving him a head start. I remind them EVERY freaking night to take a bath and brush their teeth! They are 8, almost 9 and 9 almost 10, are you kidding me?!? When I can't even talk to the kid b/c their breath kills me, it's time to take action!

~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~

Elizabeth's picture

She is with us from Sunday night through Friday night. The typical week, she takes ONE shower. That's it! Her room smells so bad, if she leaves the door open I can smell it DOWNSTAIRS. I go close it. All her clothes reek because she will wear them four or five times before washing them. All her white clothes are yellow/brown because they are worn repeatedly. And she never brushes her teeth either and didn't when she had braces. Disgusting!

jen's picture

I had this same issue. The SD's both 11 and 13 would sit around the house on the weekends in there pj's until bed time and then go to bed in the same cloths. They did this for a few weekend until I told there father that as growing girls they need to take responsbility and shower. They get this from BM who does the same thing. On her days off she lays around the house in her pjs. Her house is always a mess and there's never any food in the house. They eat junk food or fast food all the time.

So now when the girls stay at our house for the weekend they are to be up and showered by 11am and have there room cleaned. We still have to remind them to shower but at least they do it.

dragonfly's picture

is this a new kind of breed or what? my SD 8 has to be reminded to shower, brush her teeth, fix her hair even when it's all messed up and on her face, to clean herself right after having a BM cause if not reminded those undies go strait to the trash, to clean her face cause she does not notice when it's all dirty even when she checks in the mirror and now she has to be reminded to take off her pjs before putting on her jeans yes it's that bad. last weekend she was here and we were at my sister's house i noticed that she had not taken off her pjs and when i asked her why she had not done she said "oh i forgot". not so long ago she would stain the toilet seat with "poop" and just leave it like that for me to clean (yeah right).
it just makes me think what is going on at home? i can kind of understand boys that are not clean but girls?? come on i don't know about you all but i've always wanted to look and smell good since i was little and i learned how to care for myself at an early age. and i don't think it's some kind of stage or that these kids are too young to be caring for their personal hygiene because i know younger kids who refuse to leave the house if they feel dirty or their hair is not properly fixed.