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CRenfort's picture

Submitted by CRenfort on Fri, 04/02/2010 - 4:38pm

Hard day today. I will never come first for my husband. This is my fault, as I had no idea what being in a marriage with a father would entail. I think I wouldn't have married him; knowing what I know now. Whatever. It's too late with "what ifs." I wish things could be better. I'm hoping to find some friends here, to vent with. I'm 28, no kids, and I've been married for 4 years this May. I have a 9 year old stepson. Anyone??? Help???

Comments

CRenfort's picture

Submitted by CRenfort on Fri, 04/02/2010 - 4:51pm

it's really hard. My husband is in college and doesn't have a job. He's applying to medical school this fall. I just hope it's somewhere far, far away from here. I'm a horrible person.

Kb3Hooah's picture

Submitted by Kb3Hooah on Sat, 04/03/2010 - 9:04pm

CRenfort, why do you feel like you never come first?
______________________________________
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

almostover's picture

Submitted by almostover on Mon, 04/05/2010 - 8:20pm

You must either accept the fact that you will never come first, or leave. I know for me it is a bit to late to leave. I have 15 years invested in this and the kids are "almost" out. Hopefully. If they don't leave soon, I still might. Mine live with us full time. I don't know your situation.

Knowing what I know now and how I would be treated after 15 years of giving up my life and plans to care for someone elses children, I would have never done it either.

People say that you when you marry someone with children, you know what you are getting into. I agree to some extent and disagree at the same time. When I got married, my DH has his kids every other weekend. At the time, I thought that I could handle being an every other weekend stepparent. I figured I could even handle half the time if necessary. I mean after all, they chose to have children, not me. It should be equal parenting between them. I never wanted kids. I certainly didn't bargain for full time parent which is what happened after a couple of years. Being the good wife, I stood by because I felt it was in the best interest of the children to be in a stable home. BM is a mental case. I took care of everything and made sure they were well taken care of. I should have left in the beginning. Everyone tells me that they are just normal teenagers, but I have had enough.