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Friendship Conclusion Part 1

love for animals's picture

They say if a friendship last’s 8 years it will last forever. Well, this one didn't’t. In the beginning I said this was also about a child. I didn't’t realize how much I would love my friends child until the day she was born, maybe even then I didn't’t know. I thought I was going to be in her life forever as someone she could always come to if she needed anything. When she got big enough to start walking, she skipped crawling all together, you couldn't’t stop her she loved being on the go. She had free range in my house but she had rules, of course she tested those rules like any  child but she was a good baby and a good toddler. Since I never had kids of my own I wanted to make sure to teach this baby everything I could while in my care. I helped teach her colors, numbers, what her parents names were, and how to treat animals and so on. I would take her to the zoo, the park, to restaurants to try different foods. Both family’s would do Thanksgiving and Christmas together. Mom and Dad allowed me to be with them on child’s birthday not only just her party. We would take her to the children’s museum, the dinosaur exhibit. I was there every time she was sick helping mom out incase she needed it. Like I said, I have always known and respected that I didn't’t give birth to her, I’m not her mom, she’s not my daughter, not even legally her aunt but I love her more than anything, I was passionately fiercely protective of her. Friend wrote an amazing affidavit to our lawyer during our custody battle.

My friend is the type of person to make sure things look amazing, I super admired her for this, she would spend hours working on something, example, she was working on a gift for my grandchild which turned out amazing in the end. What makes me sad about this is my grandchild had a birthday party that her child was invited to but she missed the entire thing because she was working on the gift instead of just finishing it later. She would miss things and make her child miss things or late for things because of her OCD. It made me sad.

One day I took my brother out to run errands so I texted friend knowing she was coming over that day to ask if she was coming at her regular time which was what I was hoping. She texts back “Do I have a normal time? If I get there within the hour, I’m like ‘oh hell yea, I know I cant figure time out.” So I told her my plan for the day and somehow that offended her, she started a rant about how I always get mad that she’s late so that freaks her out more which gives her even more anxiety which makes her even more confused on whats going on. So she didn't’t come over. We had an argument about her ‘time ness’, I told her since it bothers her so much being late to deal with it, don’t let it keep happening, well that made her even more mad. She went on another rant, “That’d be really cool if I could do that. Just like if I don’t want to lock the front door every night after I already locked it, and no I don’t have to wash all the dishes before I leave or wash my face every morning and night or put a blanket down on the couch, just be glad I don’t vacuum everyday, I’m not scared to drive anymore, and I’m not still washing my hands until they bleed”. She thought I didn't’t understand what she went through because I don’t have those problems. I never ridiculed her or got mad about her issues, I always tried to help her. I just didn't’t want her issues to always affect our plans because its not fair to any of us, so I made sure my issues never affected her.

Like I’ve said I always tried to help her with anything she asked or needed, I loved her like a sister, I love her child like an aunty does.

One week later is when we officiously ended our 8 year friendship, well, more like I did. I don’t think we were over last week’s feeling before she came over this last time. I waited to walk my dog with her and child, child brought her scooter but didn't’t want to ride it half way through, I told mom that I would just finish walking my dog and meet them back at the house but mom took it as I didn't’t want them to walk with me anymore. I just thought it would be faster for me to go alone to get back to do Easter eggs. The three of us were at the table playing with dolls, I was trying to talk to friend but she wasn't’t very talkative, when grandchild got home from school they went out back to play, I followed them. The girls wanted to go out front to play with other friends, I didn't’t, I wanted to get dinner started so told them to go inside and ask friend. She wasn't’t inside she was putting their stuff in the car after already bringing inside to spend the night. I asked her if she was staying for dinner or leaving, she said since we were barely talking they were going home.

Conclusion part 2 will be posted tomorrow.

Comments

beebeel's picture

Most of this is confusing and I can't really tell who is right/wrong. You're creepy about her kid and she's super sensitive. That much I've gathered...

love for animals's picture

Could you please explain why you think it’s creepy. I honestly can’t see it. It might help me understand things better!

beebeel's picture

Teaching her toddler her parents first names? Weird. I would have been seriously turned off if my friend did this. It sounds like you went along with every family outing and holiday. Could they ever do something as a family without you?

Your first few installations made it seem like your friend was all alone and needed help. Now we learn the girl's dad is active in her life, so I'm super confused as to why you were so involved.

You were friends with this lady for all of two/three years before she got pregnant. I didn't even react like this when my bff of 20 years had her son. I love my godson to bits, but your level of interest in her child is creepy. If I have to explain it, I don't think it will help.

Monkeysee's picture

I think your whole relationship with the friend was off. You sounded way too involved in their lives, which both you & friend contributed to. It wasn’t a healthy friendship, more like enmeshment, and neither of you were good at communicating. Probably best you’ve parted ways. 

love for animals's picture

Thank you for your opinion, I can see why you think that with the information you have. I never intruded in their family time unless I was asked to be involved. Like mom kept always saying "We're in it together". I think you are right that the friendship wasn't healthy and off to begin with so it just continued after the child was born. Dad wasn't involved for the first year of child's life so after he came back the next year I guess mom and I were just so used to what we've done the past year. Plus mom kept calling me for help (there were other issues with dad that I wont get into). 

I think it's important for a child to learn their parents names because when my youngest stepson was 3 he followed his siblings to school without anyone knowing and he just kept saying mom and dad which is normal but no one knew how to find his parents.