We have been contemplating whether or not we want to take on the challenge of going for a change in custody. In this process we have been focusing a lot of attention on getting documentation. Each time we see something our heads spin. BM has been lying much more than we even thought. She believes her lies and them stumbles when questioned about them. I told DH to stop hiding what records that he has because in my mind they are facts and she can't change facts. Well, BM took SD to a psychiatrist. (Dr. still hasn't called DH back btw) BM says that the psychiatrist asked her about what DH had submitted in regards to SD's behavior for the past month and she rebutted it. BM ADMITTED THIS! So, of course this made me mad and I found a Phd here where we live and made an appointment for DH and I to take SD's medical file and school records to be reviewed. This Phd lady also does a lot with legal cases I was told. The catch is the cost.
So I talked to my Aunt about the frustration and she said that sometimes doing nothing can be the best thing. I was confused. I thought about this and thought about this. You all know that I am very passionate about what I feel is right and wrong and have a hard time not taking it all very personal. Well, I told DH this as well and he didn't comment on it.
Today I had just had it. DH called to say that my dad had called him and found me a job if I wanted it. WHAT??? I just enrolled at school...and I have kids to get to school in podunkville so I have to drive 7 miles to and from...and then there is the baby...who would watch him. I of course, true to my nature freaked out and got upset. I didn't understand why they would have had this conversation and I just assumed that it was because the battle for SD would cost a fourtune and I would have to give up what I wanted to do and go back to work. (I have only been off now for 4 months)
I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I cried and cried. DH wanted to know what was going on and when I started to explain he said that he never had the intention of me going back to work and that we needed to just step back. He said that he had been thinking about what my Aunt said and agreed. We have three other children and want one more (so I can get my tubes tied and be Mirene free) and that we have been focusing a lot of time and money on only one child. He pointed out how we have had to tell oldest BS no on so much that he wanted to do this summer because of all our costs and he said that this was just not fair. We pay child support and we love SD and maybe that is all we can control right now.
I feel so releived. Don't get me wrong.....you know I would love to fight that BM with all I got to make her get her head out of the sand but it is not fair to me and my other kids and DH that BM and her family get to do whatever they want because we have to front all kinds of money and she still wins.