Fork in the road
Hi everyone! I need somewhere to vent before I go crazy & he is just going to have to deal.
Little background, SS4 & SD3. Both reside with mother in another state. We have one week out of the month. DH pays child support on time and a big chunk I might add. Which is fine if it went to the kids. Really do not think it does. BM is constantly on DH about something. Calls him every name in the book, blah blah blah. Divorce is hard, I get it. But come on. Get over it already, this is my husband she is tormenting and guess who has to deal with the depression and everything else that comes along with it. Not only that SS4 has developmental delays that I have been fighting to get him help for and have not been able to get anywhere with that. He has major anger issues and pretty much fits mild autism to a tee. BM thinks we are crazy for saying so and that any problem he has the school system will fix when he gets into kindergarten. Ha. SS4 has also had to have 2 teeth extracted and replaced because they had broken off. 9 cavitites. SD3 had to have her two front teeth extracted for same reason, but did not have them replaced. I am at the end of my rope. I feel like this woman will not be happy until DH and myself are six feet under. Tried to get a lawyer, that money was wasted. Unless we want to go full on custody battle which most know is almost impossible, we just have to deal. I just did not know what I was getting myself into marrying someone with children. I think it is the most unnatural role to be a stepparent. I feel myself more and more just wanting my OWN children, not someone elses.
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I totally understand.
I totally understand. Divorce is hard, blah, blah. The BM in our life is still talking about issues they had when they were married, refused to do any pickups at our home because it's too painful. And she was the one that left. We pay a ton of CS, yet she still complains about money. SD4 never comes over with nice clothes - where is all the money going? And lastly, ever since I became a Stepmother - about 6 months ago, I feel myself more and more just wanting my OWN children and not someone elses. I'm sure this is a very common feeling for Stepmothers. My SD4 is sweet and has bonded with me, so in that regard I'm fortunate, however I wonder how long this will last. But there are so many things I would do differently if she were my own. I completely agree that it is such an unnatural role to be a stepparent. I think it must be easier for Stepmoms that have already had their own children.
Sounds like you are in the
Sounds like you are in the same situation! I know where all our money is going. BM is covered head to toe with tatoos & a different haircut & haircolor everytime we see her. Fine, to each his own. But when BM does not work and lives with parents with a total of 7 people in a one bedroom apt, really? Ugh. But we are the worthless ones? I am a full time student and work full time, husband works full time, CS is paid, lives in own house, pays own bills. Come on. I am just so sick of her crap. I have been to nice, not wanting to cause problems, always tried to get along. Really don't know how much longer I can keep it up. The thing about wanting your own children, it makes me feel better that you said you felt that way too. I love my SKs but I am starting to resent the fact that I have them and not my own children. It makes me feel like a horrible person. Maybe it is just the stress of it all who knows. I just know that if I had known what I do now, I would not do this again. I feel like love really did make me stupid.