This is a money rant. I know a lot of people have worse financial issues, but I just need to get it out.

My dear 2001 Civic may need to be replaced. It broke down on me last week and I replaced the radiator, coolant system, and several small pipes to the tune of $850. This week it began to overheat AGAIN. I sent it back to the shop. The front gasket head is blown, which in itself is a $1300 repair. They're recommending an engine replacement as well, considering the recent problems and the age/mileage on my car (I have over 215,000 on it). An engine replacement is somewhere in the $3,000 range. I think the tires need to be replaced soon as well (not just rotated). BF mentioned that there are a few other large systems that could potentially go out as well; it's just that time. I cannot work without my car. I commute 60 miles (one way) to work; we have some buses where we live, but it would take at least two hours to get to work via public transit.

I don't have the cash on hand to do all these fixes. I have money in my savings, but that's for taxes. I'm an independent contractor so I'm technically self-employed, meaning I have to pay back a lot of money this tax season (it was my first year so I didn't pay quarterly taxes). Plus this year's first quarter is about up, so I need to pay THIS year's first quarter taxes as well. I can't afford a down-payment on a new car right now, and a new car payment scares me. We only moved in January and I'm still adjusting to the raise in rent and utilities. UGH. Furthermore, I have major headaches/toothaches because my wisdom teeth are coming in--and of course I don't have insurance.

On a bittersweet note, BF (without telling me) put his truck up for sale. He plans to give me the money to use either to fix my car or to use as a down-payment for a new car. He told me last night. I was upset with him. I don't want him to feel like I can't handle it myself, and I know that truck is his baby. He loves that thing--it's a big blue lifted Chevy Tahoe. He said he doesn't drive it much anymore (he has a work truck), and he said he knows I'd do the same for him. It makes me want to cry. I am so grateful that he would do this for me, but at the same time I feel so guilty about it. My mother has also offered to pay my $300/month student loans so that I could afford a car payment. I feel the same about this as I do about BF's truck. Thank you, but I don't want you to put yourself out for me; I can handle this. This is just life and these problems are things that will come up. I am not taking for granted that there are people in my life willing to help me, but I hate feeling like I'm taking advantage of them.