Tired of ex needing control
my step daughter just graduated high school and getting ready for collage, we have saved enough in a 529 plan to currently cover a year, Her mother thinks we should still put what we paid in child support towards her education.
she even went as far to tell us how to spend our money and I’d we could buy new cars we should be able to put that money aside.
i have medical bills , I get disability that is not much, we live a simple lifestyle.
they take two major vacations a year, my step daughters grandfather ,y husbands dad gave her his car yes it was older but very low miles, instead of them agreeing with us on this subject they buy her a newer car.
my husband was never involved in his daughters big decisions, she had orientation for collage he was not informed, his ex cheated on him with now husband she moved him in her house with my husbands daughter at the age of 7, together they have been the ones making all decisions about her. The only time we are involved is when money is needed.
the fact she’s telling us how to use our income just makes me boil.
thanks for letting me vent
- Loosing mind's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Your husband is only
Your husband is only obligated to provide support based on law and any CO he is a party to. Beyond that? Their advice, opinions, requests.. are not requirements.. and TBH.. don't require responses from either of you.
His daughter can make requests.. he can say "no" if it is beyond his means..
He should sit down with his now adult daughter and explain exactly what he is able and willing to contribute.. and let her know that she can look to mom.. loans.. work.. whatever.. for anything additional. He can do it with love, but it would be best that she know her limits. Kids are often unaware of parental finances. (she doesn't need to know details.. but she needs to know what he can/will be doing for her). BM is likely feeding her a bunch of bull about how much he has.. when it's untrue
Ignore her opinion
But dad needs to talk to his daughter more. Even if mom restricted communication, he nees to try to reopen. I would be VERY concerned about a kid using ALL 529 money for one year. I think kid would be better off living at home and doing first two years in a community college.
Unless court order addresses eduction he is not obligated to pay.
Who cares what she has to say
Who cares what she has to say? He can pay whatever he owes legally in terms of child support and tuition, and then decide how much more he will spend.
His daughter is an adult. He can ignore BM entirely and discuss these issues with SD.
Ignore BM. Your SD is now at
Ignore BM. Your SD is now at the age that these conversations can be had directly with her, no BM involvement needed.
Thanks
thank you for your in site on this. It’s really hard to deal with this woman. It’s sad but I have a better relationship with her mother than she does we just got along from the get go and became friends.
She has always to.d my step daughter what to do as well as my husband, the step father is just creepy, My husbands brother thought he needed to tell my step daughter why her parents are divorced and when she confronted her mom she lied.
its unreal that the woman who broke up the marriage by cheating still holds all the cards.
i am a very straight forward person my husband will not confront her because she does take it out on his daughter, One day when we are one on one she will be put in her place.
He doesn't need to confront
He doesn't need to confront her. He just needs to ignore her. The only way she has any power and control anymore is if he gives it to her.
My SS is 19 and his mother tried to stay the gatekeeper between him and his father. My DH tried to be civil with her, but it was just threats of court and demands for money so he now ignores her. If his son wants something from him, he will need to go directly to DH. BM gets ignored, and she finally stop trying.
Your DH gives her the power, he's the one you should be upset with.