It's been a while since my last blog, I have my baby now, he is the cutest baby ever he is 4 months old now, he was born at the beginning of may and my H's sk came to visit a month after, so this is the story.....
I was on unpaid maternity leave, I was surviving on the little bit of savings that i had, my H was only paying rent, I was paying the bills that needed to get paid like cell phone and insurance, when the skids came (SD14, SD11, SS6) he stopped helping me with the baby, he would wake up at 6 am to play video games all day long with the skids, I can count with my two hands how many diapers he had changed since my baby was born, I had a talk with him and he starting paying more attention to the baby, for a few days only, then i decided to spend my last month of maternity leave with my parents I was running out of money and I was getting verry irritated with the skids (ignoring me, not answering when i asked something and with H's behaviour), but before I signed a lease for a new apartment (because the old one was very nasty and i didn't want to have the baby there) and then I left, we talked every night and we were fine, when i came back I found out that none of the bills that were on my name were paid (cell phone, land phone, hospital bills, cable) and the apartment (new apartment) was totally trashed!! I had my moment (I will accept that) and started yelling at H, he said he was going to clean (instead of giving the skids chores and tell them to clean after themselves) ok, so I was feeling very overwhealmed, tired, stressed out, worried, because he didn't have money to pay OUR bills but he had money to entertain the kids (he took them shopping, rafting, six flags...and more) then I went back to work, I was having separation anxiety leaving my baby with the sitter (i'm over it now!) but at that time it was pretty tough, the first day I came home from work I found my room trashed and the kids watching TV in there so i told them to leave and watch tv in the living room, i told my H and he got upset and we started fighting, it got ugly...very ugly...so he ended up saying he was leaving by the end of the month, fine, the thing is that now that he is mad at me, he totally ignores the baby!! he won't even buy a bag of diapers for him, he won't even look at him, I can't believe he is doing that and even worst in front of his kids, so now they ignore him too! he only gave me 175 dlls this month, with that i'm supposed to pay babysitter, bills and buy diapers...how?? I don't know!! if i ask for more money he says he doesn't have any, so what was my surprise that he is throwing a birthday party tomorrow for SD14 at the bowling alley!!! so he has money for that! I just can't believe this, the kids have been here for almost 3 months already, he keeps paying CS during that time, and i'm drown in debt, trying to find out how to pay my rent next month and the babysitter...can somebody help me understand him??????? how can a father ignore his own child under the same roof??? and how can he blame me for being mad?? oh! because for him, this is all my fault!