I was originally posting this as a comment on Auteurs blog - but realized how quickly it was turning into a full blown RANT - so decided instead to post a new entry for it.

Auteur brought up the irresponsible pet ownership by the BM in her post..

This actually happened a few months ago, but seeing that blog brought it back fresh in my mind.
DBF (darling boyfriend) has 2 cats (one is his kids.. that she doesn't even pay attention to or take care of or clean up after) it's about 7 years old... and I have two cats... which are well behaved and trained like dogs. My cats listen and don't destroy things and know how to properly use a litter box. They understand "get down" and "no" and don't get on the countertops or eating surfaces, because I spent time and effort training them. Mommies little angels. haha

Well several million times he has asked his bd14 to take her cat with her to her moms to live there because she spends more time there and the cat is one of those weird ones that really only likes her so when shes not here the cat spends his time being afraid of everyone and everything. Lurking in corners being afraid of the world. You look at that cat wrong and you won't see it for 2 weeks! In addition one of my cats is younger and in his teenage years and he LOVES nothing more than attacking her cat (so we keep them separated). So I suggested that her cat would TRULY be happier living with her. She's had him for 7 years - it's hers - she should take him.

She refused, saying her mom didn't have enough money to take care of it. That I can understand . Well since her cat here is declawed [[[ DBF cats are both DECLAWED. I about died when i found out upon first meeting him - but don't worry he NOW knows how terrible that is and it turns out it was something his EX wanted done - wtf]]] he doesn't scratch stuff - duh - and he's fixed - and mild mannered and fat and lazy and older - so it doesn't destroy things - My DBF offered to PAY for it's expenses - food, vet, etc. if she would just take it. Still the daughter refused (after asking her mom) saying no, she couldn't afford it. Well, we were both like - at least she's being honest and for once is being responsible enough not to take on another responsibility she can't handle and MAYBE she doesn't want the extra help financially for the cat... that's a sign of maturity... maybe?

GUESS WHAT?1
Her mom turns right around and gets her a kitten (a little black cat EXACTLY like the one she has here). Well several weeks go by and I notice she stopped talking about her stupid kitten and posting pictures of it on Facebook - so I ask her how it was doing. She tells us that her mom took it to the pound because it kept scratching stuff up DUH it's a kitten -- and I guess starting spraying stuff - which means it wasn't fixed.
So.. instead of just taking the paid for cat that is already here that is her daughters she goes out and gets a new kitten that she can't afford to take care of, or get fixed or train and THEN takes it to the pound, which we all know is death row.

So I took that opportunity to teach his daughter about what happens to animals when you take them to the pound. I taught her the difference between a no kill shelter and a regular one and basically flat out told her that her mom basically took her kitten to be killed. I didn't tip toe around it for a couple reasons...

• 1. She's 14 - she should know this stuff. When I was her age I was already rescuing animals in my neighborhood.
• 2. Her mom CLAIMS to be a VEGAN -- AND so did his daughter (up until a few weeks after this incident) I used to be a Vegan, but it was for diet and health reasons , and several of my friends were hardcore vegans most of their life, or still are. I know what it REALLY means to be one.. so no "vegan" would happily get animals they couldn't care for, and then give them a death sentence. Also I let her know the process of declawing a cat and how painful and unnecessary it is

I wanted her to know what it meant to claim being vegan, and I wanted her to know what her mom did. I wanted her to know what the responsible thing to do was, vs. what happened. I wanted her to understand that there are consequences to dropping animals off at the pound - just in case she thought she might be asking her mom for any more animals anytime soon.

SIDE NOTE: Her mom is one of those proud to call herself a vegan, vegans who I don't think really understands how DEEP being vegan goes (like down to skin care and hair and makeup products and researching EVERYTHING you use no matter what to make sure there are no animal ingredients OR animal testing done by the company. But she would happily pick up the phone and tell my BF not to buy his daughter groceries with meat because she wouldn't cook it (yes he often buys his daughters groceries for her BM's house). I would spend hours at the grocery store with his daughter making her put stuff back and read the ingredients and show her "hey, can't eat that. It's got eggs in it" - until finally she just gave up on it. Turned out it was because his daughter is lactose intolerant not because she actually WANTED to be vegan and now she eats meat just fine after I told her meat didn't have dairy in it. LOL

My DBF was present when this all went down and he just stood there like... ugh, this is about to get weird.. and just nodded agreeing with me here and there. At the end I just said - your dad probably just didn't want you to be sad, but I think you're old enough to know the truth right? And she agreed.

I thought he was going to be mad at me later (in private) for taking it upon myself to use that very teachable moment to actually TEACH (and maybe preach a little hehe) - but in private he actually thanked me for not shying away from it and admitted that he knew what had happened already (just hadn't told me) and that he was afraid to say anything because he thought it would just come off as him talking badly about her mother.