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Fathers Day Question: Need Advice

lilsadone's picture

Submitted by lilsadone on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:08pm

So to catch everyone up on the backstory (or you can just read one or two of my past blogs) - SO is now my ExSO and I'm moving back home soon. But that date hasn't approached yet and I am still here. I planned to be gone by now but work stuff and health stuff got in the way.

So since I am here still and hadn't planned to be - I didn't get my ExSo a fathers day gift or anything.
Do you think I should???

I've mentioned in my past blogs that since the breakup we've been FANTASTIC together, just like when we first started dating. Bitter sweet, but hey, I'll take that over being miserable while I'm still here. Things have been so fantastic because his d14 hasn't come over since last month (due to obligations, events, etc.). Well she's here this weekend... but that doesn't have anything to do with this post.

Since we're broken up, should I still get him a fathers day gift?
I thought, well.. would I get any of my "friends" a gift, to help me decide - when I realized -- I don't have any friends that are fathers (literally, only 1 and that was an ex of mine who just recently had a baby with his new wife so a simple ecard is all he is getting).

Last year I got him gifts and even painted a room in his house (basically doing something he'd been meaning to get to but hadn't and I had his d14 help me paint so that she wouldn't look like a complete idiot since she DIDN'T GET HIM ANYTHING. I also took us all out to lunch and said it was from her and I even though even taking him to lunch was my idea also (she really couldn't care less).

I have a feeling she won't get him anything this year either (it's not like her mom cares enough to make sure she thinks about her father. God forbid she have a brain). I'd hate for Sunday to come and he's just sitting there, not getting anything (but deep down I think he kinda deserves to feel shitty considering I was the only one who thought about anyones bdays or events)

So I honestly don't know if I should be getting him anything. What do you all think?

Comments

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 4:22pm

I don't see why you should get him anything. Just saying "Happy Father's Day" should be enough if you want to acknowledge the day.

lilsadone's picture

Submitted by lilsadone on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:34pm

Well that was easy! Thank you all! I guess I'll just be wishing him a happy fday as I'm walking out the door to go do something fun!

Hanna's picture

Submitted by Hanna on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 5:59pm

so along these lines: should I get DH anything? No biokids but SD8 and SD12 don't get an allowance from him. So it's I buy the gift or nothing. What to do??? :?

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 6:22pm

If you are with your SO then yes, if you are in the process of splitting up no.

I am taking my FDH to the Zoo on Sunday with his girls. His dad and my parents are coming as well. I have also had the girls make him cards, and have a sitter lined up to go out for drinks that night. If you love him and are with him then yep go for it. But make the kids help plan/put in the effort for the gift/card/ect (breakfest or have them make dinner)

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 6:25pm

He's your husband, so yeah get him a gift.

The OP has ended her relationship with her ex.

Hanna's picture

Submitted by Hanna on Fri, 06/15/2012 - 6:46pm

Completely agree with the point you make.
My only concern is that the skids will probably make a card and that will be it. And my DH really likes to be "celebrated". Last yr when we were just engaged (now married) the oldest spung it on me the DAY BEFORE: hey can you get dad a starbucks giftcard or something?. Grrr! I said, yeah, you have money? Of course the answer was no!. My DH also seemed so relieved that he got something that time. He said, I was fearing this day was gonna suck for me.
But maybe I'll have them make him bfast, give him a massage etc. Just feel like I have to come up with everything, even the ideas. Sad

Thiskidwilldrivemecrazy's picture

Submitted by Thiskidwilldriv... on Sat, 06/16/2012 - 7:56pm

I sort of think along those lines as well. I asked my boyfriend to move out a couple of weeks ago and he Is looking for a house. During the past three years we've been together , I have always gotten him something for Fathers Day. However, this year, he did NOTHING for me on Mothers Day and was actually a little crappy about the whole thing (and his kid lives with us full time so i am a mother figure to his kid ). So, I had decided weeks ago that I was doing nothing for him. Fast forward to now , and although I still won't be getting him a card or buying him a gift, I think i might make him a special breakfast. As silly as it may sound, it's as much for me as for him. You see, if I do absolutely nothing, I think I might end up feeling bad and I don't want that . By making him a special breakfast, I can feel like I did something I wished he had done for me and I won't regret not acknowledging the day. Kind of like the 'do unto others as you wish they would do unto you, not AS they do unto you'.

To each his own; I think you should do whatever you will feel best about when all is said and done.