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The constant control freak

Lifer33's picture

Submitted by Lifer33 on Tue, 10/01/2019 - 2:17pm

First time blogging simply because I'm alone tonight. I was just mulling over how things fell apart with bm from civil to this n released its her need to know everything and be in control with no respect for anyone else. 

She would whattapp about trivial stuff weeks ahead, and the messages coincided with if me and hubs were (rarely) out, on holiday etc. Was definitely a 'remember me, you'll never escape me'  because if he didn't answer, he'd get a 'can you answer me please' etc. I said you need to scrap that app as she can see when you've read it. Lo and behold things really came to a head when we were having a perfect time at the front of a concert she knew we were away at, n we get messages saying ss9 can't come on either of your 2 nights next week, as his stepsis is having not 1 but 2 parties. So we quickly replied cldnt he just go to one as his bio sis will miss him. Turned into an exchange n next thing ss9 is messaging us saying don't be angry with mummy Sad omg and wtf is she playing at letting him be party to all this Sad so we blocked her, said all communication will be by email, we will also not discuss contact via ss9 or his phone for same reason.

Now its obviously driving her nuts, as she emails, again none urgent contact stuff, hubby doesn't see it as he's at work, so she texts him, 3 times. He answers her by email and blocks her every which way on phone.

Now we are taking ss 9 away, this weekend in same country, for 3 days no big deal. We get a message from 'him' saying what do I need for this trip. Er well usual warm clothes and smart set for dinner. Next thing barrage of emails what time are you going what time are you back ( all self explanatory from info we've already given) he will have to be back at x (even tho she takes him out of school n keeps him up late all time)  just basically dictating our itinary! And Lo and behold it's my treat for my husbands bday, having Been with him 14yrs she's well aware of that. I feel like saying either keep your kid back if you're suddenly so concerned, failing that just leave us the hell alone! Grrr. Rant over 

Comments

Thisisnotus's picture

Submitted by Thisisnotus on Tue, 10/01/2019 - 2:36pm

OH I totally get it. Isn't maddening. We deal with the same crap.

Anytime we go on vacation with skids....it goes alot like that. BM tries to stir things up while we are away...like trying to upset DH or their kids....but her biggest thing she likes to do is the MOMENT we get back from vacation...she has been whisking t hem to a vacation....literally the very next day. It's happned twice this year...and she calls the kids while we are on our trip and says hey kids....you need to be back by 3 pm b/c we are leaving at 4 pm for a vacation....the kids things she is crazy even.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Tue, 10/01/2019 - 2:40pm

You've been with your husband for 14 years but  he has a 9 year old son???

Girl, you have bigger issues than a controlling BM.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 10/01/2019 - 3:09pm

No - BM has been with her dude 14 years so she should know when his bday is..sometimes without punctuation things get cofusing.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 10/01/2019 - 3:12pm

Our BM, Toxic Troll, last year on our wedding day (we eloped but I spilled the beans), she texted him all freaking day.

These BMs love to stay relevant and like the fact that they still have some control due to kiddos.

Luckily one Skid is 20 and although we still have 4 years of munchkin being a minor, she is getting more and more independent.

But its still frustrating.

Defintely work with SO to create higher boundaries. Toxic Troll likes to include munchkin when DH and her are arguing. She includes her in arguments between Feral Forger SD20 and her too. It sucks.

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Tue, 10/01/2019 - 3:27pm

I love the nicknames for the BM and the skid CLove. I call BM over here Reptile and OSS Reptile Jr.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 10/01/2019 - 5:28pm

Biggrin So I dont reference anything I really like. BM has been desribed as "the Beastie/Beast" or "The Gorilla". But I dont want to insult beasies and gorillas!

Thanks Biggrin lol. DH likes them as well.

Lifer33's picture

Submitted by Lifer33 on Wed, 10/02/2019 - 3:52am

Punctuation was bad lol, well not existent as I didn't come up for air, yes bm was with him 14 yrs. Has to try n get in on everything we do. We really don't know how to cut the contact any further and she has been told not to hijack ss phone as its unfair on him. She uses it to say' let me know now now now' in front of the kid so he's bound to feel confused n upset when daddy doesn't answer. That time at the gig was definitely a form of parental alienation, who shows a kid a text row between adults Sad

Imaniceone's picture

Submitted by Imaniceone on Wed, 10/02/2019 - 2:08pm

Whenever me and my SO plan a trip or go somewhere with his sk(6y/o), we have to tell the BM and explain to her the details of our trip. Nevertheless, she always say sk can’t go. BM thinks that we are not capable of taking care of her kid. There was a time that BM and my SO argued over it. She went on and on about how we can’t take her kid to the cottage. My SO ened up saying she is a selfish bitch. *biggrin* That worked for us and she let us take the kid to the cottage.