Support and guidance VS condemning
I often find myself wondering what to say to my 9yr old stepson when he is venting to me about his biological mom and step dad. I try to keep is pretty broad and general rather then directly aimed at them. I also tend to find a life lesson in the situation. However, sometimes I don't necessarily approve of the way he is telling me or talking about them. I want him to be able to come to me for support and openly talk to me so I worry about guiding him away and condemning him or them. But sometimes I think he plays the households a bit and he mimics them. I tell him to not mimic people and he can vent to me, but I just feel lost in this situation. How do I properly support and guide him in a way I approve of, but not make him think I'm egging him on and bad mouthing them with him? Maybe just stay quite and listen?
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SS is playing both houses you
SS is playing both houses you are not wrong there..... next time SS comes to you with a story about BM's house, smile and cut it short, say: SS - it's your mother's house and her rules, it's got nothing to do with me and stop talking about it in my house, this is my house and my rules we are not going to talk about BM and SF in this house unless it's nice...
Thank you, but no thank you.
Thank you, but no thank you. I would appreciate it if you can not offer me your advice anymore. This is for advice, not to tell me my kid is rude and I'm teaching him that. Apparently you missed in my original post that when he mimics and I tell that is not okay to mimic people let alone his mom. And I am a parent thank you very much
He mimics them? Kid is rude
He mimics them? Kid is rude and you're teaching him how to do it. You should never let him talk about any adult that way.
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I took this that he hears his mom and SF talk bad about them so he mimics them by talking bad about them to the bio dad and SM. I could be wrong.
But yes...she needs to shut it down if he is making fun of his mom and SF.
Listen and then cut it short.
Listen and then cut it short. Kids love to complain!! Just say, "sorry you feel that way" and move on to the next topic. Gently shut it down. It might be annoying for you to listen to but the kids need to know they can talk to you about anything. It may be small things that they complain about but if there ever was abuse etc the kids def need to know they can come to you. ;)). Happy step parenting!!
Thank you so much! This is
Thank you so much! This is pretty much what I do, so feels good hearing it from somebody else!