I've never dealt with drugs but you sound like you need a hug. *HUGS*

I caught my teenage son doing skunk in his room with some friends. I kicked them out and told him I didn't want that happening under my roof. A few months later we had a big altercation and I sent him to live with his dad awhile. I thought he'd come back in a week, but he didn't. His dad didn't mind the drugs. Skip to years later, my son has amounted to a hill of beans- he still expects me to bail him out of trouble. He still thinks cannabis is the key to everything but it led him on the road to nowhere. Do I regret being so hard on him? No. He knows my opinion on his habit- it has ruined his life. No one has an excuse to do drugs-many people have a shit life but rise above it. Sorry to sound harsh but drugs are the worse thing in my opinion. I feel for you. Maybe you will get different advice from someone else, but this is my experience. It has broken my heart.

How old is DS?

Sorry you are dealing with it.

No. Didn't have such experience with DD but one of my SDs has pretty much her life forever upside down due to drugs. Unfortunately it often starts with pot but then escalates into heavier stuff/selling/arrests etc. Take him to a therapist and to a doctor asap. Often people with anxiety and ptsd who arent on any meds are seeking drugs to make themselves feel better. My OSD is bipolar but refuses to take meds, so she turned to drugs instead. Also it looks like your SD and DS need new friends. Is it a rough neighborhood?

See my two recent blog entries; the path my SS17 embarked on at 12 and kept the innocent little boy con going until I busted him at 13... since then, learned that all apologies & promises not to use were lies. Now he's a senior and only friends are drug buddies. Consequences need to be swift, severe, and include loss if freedoms and privileges. Track who he contscts & when to learn the frequency and who is hooking up the pot connect. In hindsight, DH was in Disney Dad mode and was afraid to follow thru on key threatened punishments (like calling the cops if we found pot in his room or backpack again) so SS operating on the premise that continued use & lying are a safe risk. This has destroyed the trust & SS17 isn't allowed to have friends iver when we're not there, so he's gone all the time 'cuz we're not cool enough to be cool with hosting underage partiers who have zero respect for us or our home. It sucks!

ALL teenagers make mistakes. Most of us adults did the same things when we were that age ( or worse ).

My SD recently was busted for weed because they ( her and the other dumb kids she was with ) posted in on social media and someone told on her.

In the case of my SD , her dad talked to and made her fess up and hand everything over to be destroyed. She was lectured about the consequences of being caught again with it ( either by the police or by her dad ). She also will get reminded of her choices when she tries to pull the " I'm just a kid card ". She has to spend her allowance on the little extras she wants now , because if she can spend her money on pot , she can spend it on other things. I was also furious that it had happened in MY house. Kids can be so dumb sometimes.

And the " it's only weed " argument is annoying. Even in states were it is legal, there is an age requirement.

Most teenagers experiment with pot and it doesn't lead to anything else. I tried it for the first time right after my 18th birthday, my senior year of high school. I smoked regularly for a couple years (while going to college), and then it was time to jump on the adult wagon (get a career) so I stopped smoking. It hasn't affected anything in my life. I'll admit that over the past 15 years I have indulged a few times with friends who choose to smoke daily, but that just isn't my lifestyle.

I suggest talking to your DS about the potential consequences of drugs and then keep an eye on him. If his attitude and demeanor start to change (like he's doing other kinds of drugs) you need to intervene. However, if he appears to be "normal" (as normal as teens can be anyway), goes to school, keeps his grades up, etc., I wouldn't worry too much about it. I will add, that IF my children (almost all teens now) decide to try pot I'm not going to flip out on them. Allow it, NO. This is just my extremely honest opinion however.

ugh! my BS7 is only 7, so no experience, but this is my biggest fear! Hugs to you!

I can honestly say that I NEVER smoked pot until I was in my 30's. Oh, all my friends did in high school and I saw it going on all the time, but I was a bit of a anxious/nervous nelly about health and not doing dumb stuff, so I always just said no. I did however partake in my fair share of Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers as a minor. I kind of think it's a right of passage of sorts for teenagers?

It just makes me nervous knowing when that line will be crossed? .. like my SS who started smoking dope at about age 11, is still smoking pretty much daily at age 18 and is a high school drop out, with no job, no goals for life and acts like he's on horse tranquilizers when you talk to him.

"Did drugs..."

Really? Some marijuana?

I don't consider pot a "hard drug".

I've smoked it a handful of times, but I don't "do it".

Medical use aside, there's smoking a doob to relax now and then... then there's smoking endless weed to self-medicate, at the detriment of everything else in your life...

My son is just about 15. I told him I expect him to make good choices, and that I don't ever want to hear about him getting busted with dope.... or his life as he knows it is O.V.E.R. That said, I don't see pot as anymore dangerous than an occasional drink to relax. I just don't do it myself.

Do you know the friends who went with DS to the movies? Are these friends from school or some he has met over the summer? Friends have a lot of influence at this age and it seems like the "stoner" group in school is more accepting and less judgemental than most of the other cliques. He may have started using pot to fit in.

I also agree with the possibility that he may be "self-medicating" with pot. It may help his anxiety. I can't remember, is Bear still at the in-laws or is he back with DS?

In addition to making it clear that you will not allow him to use pot, I'd try and find out why he is using it.

Who are 'these people?' My son is addicted to cannabis and has been since he was a teenager. He rarely drinks and has never taken prescription drugs. His life has been wrecked by dope- he can't hold down a job, form constructive relationships and has a warped view of the world. I still carry him financially and live with the results of his 'need' of this stuff almost every day of my life...

Can I ask how the kids got to the movie? Did you drop them off and planned to pick-up, or did you allow the 14yr olds to get in the van with kids old enough to drive?

At 14 (yeah, almost 15) I don't feel young teens should be hanging with kids that drive. The vehicle and the freedom of being able to 'party' on wheels is absolutely nothing new for teens. You can't supervise the teens 24/7, but you can limit their ability to have the opportunity of driving and using drugs/alcohol.

I didn't see what, if any, consequences you've decided to hand out? Kid are going to try things. I'm willing to bet you have never really discussed drugs/alcohol with your son because you never felt the need. But your son has went a long way in overcoming his issues of anxiety. Due to them, he's been pretty sheltered. Now he isn't. He was tempted and he took. You disapprove so my question is how are you handling the incident? Have you sat and talked to him? Have you discussed teen peer pressure? Talked to him as to why you disapprove other than it is an illegal drug in your state and at his age (if state was legal for weed)?

Does your school do the random drug test on students? If so, is he aware that if his number comes up and he' got weed in his system his school sport and school sponsored activities are going to be revoked. Is he aware that he got lucky he wasn't arrested? If he had been arrested how would you deal with that? You need to discus thee things with him.

One of our members who is no longer here, her 17yr old daughter was arrested. It was a tiny teeny bit of weed. I doubt *we* will hear how it turns out for her teen now , but yeah, the member was floored. Unfortunately her blogs no longer exist here so you can't go read the different advice and support she received.

I really have nothing, but to suggest you not let your son drop his therapy. Tip her off on the incident and let her talk to your son about the incident and the whys and whats now. If he won't go, you go. You talk to the therapist on how you feel about this and what she thinks you might say/do to help your son sort through decisions like this.

I started smoking pot at 14 and can promise you that I'm now a productive member of adult society. Make a giant deal about it, ground him for the next month so he thinks twice before buying again but just know that he's probably just being a teenager and will grow out of this.