So I have finally boiled the problems between me and my SKIDs, DH, and the BM down to a single point of contention. Let me say that my husband is wonderful and I love him with all of my heart, he is an incredible dad to my BDs and to his own kids, and he is a great husband. BM is a bitch, but she's not bright enough to be a real problem for me. Here is the issue:

Yesterday, I saw that my SD15 had posted on FB that she was like Cinderella because she "has an evil stepmother and two evil stepsisters". Ironically, given the Cinderella reference, that was the same day that the expensive shoes I bought for her "just because" as a surprise came in and she loved them, putting them on and wearing them around the house and even to her overpriced activity after school. It's a small thing, the comment, and I don't care what she has to say about me, but I will not allow her to be mean to my daughters. She is constantly creating drama between her father and I, her mother and I, and anyone else she can pull into the issue. She is nasty to my girls, one of whom has autism (which SD15 insists that my BD9 "fakes") and to her brothers. I love the rest of the SKIDS (SS16, SS7, SS6) and have a great realationship with them. After SD15 put up that nasty note, her dad called her on it (not the first time she has pulled this crap, other notes include that she wants to beat the crap out of my kids, that she leaves her brothers ages 6 and 7 home alone while she meets a 20 year old at the park, that I "ruined her family", etc) and her BM actually supported us on it on behalf of my BDs (very happy about that). Well, SD15 calls her aunt and cries, and her aunt posted her own very nasty note, which the uncle (aunt's husband) follwed up with a threat to vandalize my home.

I am at the end of my rope, and what I want to do is this: I am done with SD15 because she is like a poison in my home and I want nothing to do with her and I really don't want her around my kids. I purchased a laptop for SD15 for Christmas, which I want to give to BD9 now. I want other expensive gifts I have given her returned. And I want the cell phone I gave her back so I can use it for my other kids since she uses it for this nonsense.

My question is this- am I being reasonable? What would you do in this situation? I want to pursue a restraining order against the uncle to protect my home, do you think I could get it (I have a copy of the threat saved to my computer)?