Step kids hate me
My step kids are 10 and 7, the oldest being female and the boy is the youngest.
I have been with their father for 5 years and we have a three year old girl together.
Back to the step kids: The first day in our home the girl said "you are my wicked step mother". The second weekend in my home she walked in the door pointing a finger at me telling me "You are not my mother". Needless to say that she had her mind made up for her from day one.
When my husband split up with his ex-wife I had a talk to her and found out that she had no intention of salvaging their marriage. Infact when i confronted her she said to me in these words "you can have him, no way are we getting back together, its over". This was after I was up front with her that I liked him and in no way do i want to come between their marriage & children. At this stage he was no more than a friend with no physical involvement. The man was loyal to his wife.
She is very resentful towards me and obviously very jealous that the kids spend time with me. She's very concerned for them while theyre with us. She has had no problems leaving them with me here and there when they both had to work weekends because she had nobody else.
I have knocked on her door and have asked her for the kids sake to bury the hatchet. She wants nothing to do with that. In fact, her comment was " i regret having kids to my ex and If I had my way we'd have nothing to do with both of you".
Any comments?
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Comments
Hmmmmmm....
Latinafresh,
Hmmmm...
What I find interesting is that in your situation. BM tells you if she had her way they all would have nothing to do with you. Then on the flip side she lets you tend to her kids when she has to work on the weekends because she has no one else to watch them.. Sounds like your being used to me..Used, abused, and not appreciated...Perhaps it would be beneficial to let the BM do what she would have to do if you were not in the pictures..Hire a baby sitter to watch her kids on the weekends she has them and has to work..
too right.
I know that I'm being used but I'm doing it for my husband. He knows that i am doing it for him because they are his kids. This helps him get her off his back. If i dont do it for him, then she becomes abusive and he would rather keep the peace. With that said, I think along the same lines that he does. Babysitting in the past hasn't happened too often. She should hire a babysitter but can't afford one. Thats why she palms her kids off to all the relatives on weekends and rarely spends one with her children.
Just a thought..
I totally understand that your doing it for your hubby. Which is very kind of you and hopefully he appreciates it. Perhaps she should find other means of day care on the weekends that the kids are not at your house for visitation? Just meaning perhaps not watch them during the weekends she has them and has to work? Just a thought..
We dont see them
My husband is very appreciative, he's very understanding. I tend to choose my battles with him very carefully. This one however is something that I can let go for a short while. I don't think that there will be a next time in regards to baby sitting again due to the current situation with the kids. The 10 year old girl has a severe jealousy problem and until these poor kids get councelling we are going to have an up hill struggle because the girl won't admit to what is going on inside. She bottles it up and it comes out in the form of miss interpretting stuff because of how she really feels inside. Her mother sent us each a telephone message saying that the kids don't want to come, that I am a dragon and that I pretend to love them. Its horrible. Her mother wont discuss this with my husband and definatly not with me so its a bit tricky. Its gotten to the point where this kid interprets every thing I say and do with the notion that it is geared to harm her. I don't treat her any different than I do my own daughter. In fact. I love my step daughter. One thing she hates is to shower and I make sure she showers daily. At home the kids go without bathing or showering for days. I can't do this with her as she has strong body odour and it is offensive as she's quite an obese child. I dont know how to deal with this one except that knowing that the truth always surfaces and I will be vindicated. I feel like meat in the sandwich here, caught between a Mother who isn't here and can't see what is going on and quite frankly thats got to be 50 percent of the problem. She doesn't know me, never took the time to find out who is the person thats going to be spending weekends with her children. I did approach her and her response was that she wanted nothing to do with me and if she had her way she wouldn't have anything to do with my husband either. Now, I as a mother, would've done that and wouldve gone out of my way to keep the peace regardless of awkward feelings. Are we not adults? She abandoned her husband for months and was quite adamant that it was for good. I never stole him or had an affair. This hostility is quite bizzare to me.